Maggie Mae
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2016
- Messages
- 13
I want to say 1st I have had numerous friendships, 1 relationship of 10 years and my husband now of 17 years, in which I have seen opiate addiction occur AFTER the relationship began. I wrote a paragraph after this 1st sentence and submitted it but I guess it never took.. after searching since yesterday I finally foud this.. what was left. Maybe that's why I couldn't find it. My husband is dying of heart failure and kidneys aren't good, either. I have family but they are basically estranged. He has cut me off emotionally and hasn't spoke to me for 4 days now. Last night when he left I found the Dr's report.. another heart cath. He already had 2 stints in. He is just always in denial. If they could see him jacked up on Vicodin, hardly sleeping.. My God.. he lives on ice cream ad crackers. I cook good things. He is losig his mind. I am on Xanax. I haven't had any for 2 days. I'm antsy but you know, it's a drug. This is real. He will die and I'm 52 with leg neuropathy and Achilles tendonitis in left leg. I would get a waitress job ad live in a small cheap flat just to still keep raising my grandson, but it looks like I can't now. I work in a hotel nights and after a busy weekend I could hardly walk. My daughter works hard but is incapable of raising a child.. or at least was.. now that he is 6 he can kinda take care of himself and she can't neglect him like whe he was a baby.. that's why I took him. Idky there are red squiggly lines under most of this.. it is correct! Will it post? Someoe please answer me! I wake up everyday and my 1st thought I can't live this way anymore. I don't want to die but I want to run. This is killing me inside. I used to be an engineer, I used to be an accountant. I am forbidden to speak of his opiate addiction. And you know what? Besides his faults he's a great guy.. I've lost this game. I've lost everyone.