• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

3 days

MiraLuv

MiraLuv

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
40
Hi!
I know I have been posting a lot in the past few hours. But I relaised that maybe just maybe it might be good to keep me accountable inbetween meetings. I need a lot of support right now. I shared in another post how low my last relapse brought me. :( the funny thing is my mind and body is done. Before these past relapses I was only sorry when my family caught me! Now I want to be done! I do need some people who understand to support me. I don't have many friends left I'm isolated at home cuz of my son and was spending all extra money on heroin and smokes. I don't use needles just snort and withdrawal is so much better today! I hope I'm not annoying you guys. Looking to meet some cool people :)
 
Congratulations on getting through the worst of the withdrawal! That is not an easy accomplishment, especially if done at home with your own will-power. From this point it gets easier physically, but it might still be on your mind for a long time. Hence why you need to MAKE CHANGES and STAY BUSY if you want this to last.

It can be hard finding the motivation for this all at first, but if you really want it, you will find motivation. I mean you found motivation to get heroin when you felt awful, right? If you want to be clean more than you want to use, and you always forced yourself to do whatever it took to use, you will surely find ways to convince yourself to do whatever it takes to stay clean.

Don't view a lack of friends as a bad thing. We are just gonna tell you to change PEOPLE, places and things anyway! People often make sober friends (who understand addiction) at support groups. Stay away from the sides of town where you used to score.Rearrange your furniture, buy some new books, watch new shows, etc. And stay busy to keep your head in better places. It might feel like going through motions at first, but soon you will feel things like accomplishment, pride and dignity, strange things to an addict. But they are your forward momentum.

Lastly, good job giving it up with a child. You are getting clean for two people and their better futures, which is a great choice!
 
Last edited:
Awe thanks for the reply! Funny thing you said to rearrange my furniture! My parents just offered me some awesome furniture! I always lurk on here but never post! I want to post now and try to be social. I want to find a recovery event maybe next week when my son goes to his dads. Like at an AA club house. I think one by my house has a speaker meeting and pizza party. Otherwise I will do something I regret. I need people now which is soo weird for me because I am so isolated
 
this is my 6th day today...I understand what yourr saying completely. I have to go go go be busy all the time to not start thinking too much. I get too high expectations too...thats a lot of why i fucked up last time. the man in the mirror is being completely unreasonable lol. I want to be able to think clearly NOW i want to be able to have energy and feel better NOW i want to be completely flowing psychically emotionall mentally etherally and accomplish everything NOW....but takes time n patience...not something we are used to lol. I find message boards help but not toooo much of it because its a constant stimulation of the brain n constant reminders its good but...moderation...another hard thing lol. i find i need to allow myself to rest thinkk about something else....get so overwhelmed easily. I guess there is a lot going on I would be nnormally but thinking in non thinking times...is what im trying not to do. Mind is still pretty fucked most of the time...I have been having some hope...glimmers of "clarity". But The rest of the time I cant make desicions or think about things in depth...Just try to somehow rest your mind...keep busy but keep it simple and remember to let yourself rest to as hard as it is. Even like 2-3 mins of meditation or prayer every lil bit. Sorry if this is not what your talking about at all lol just what came to mind. Keep reaching out..its all good
 
codienne said:
I want to be able to think clearly NOW i want to be able to have energy and feel better NOW i want to be completely flowing psychically emotionall mentally etherally and accomplish everything NOW....but takes time n patience...not something we are used to lol.
Click to expand...

That's really good that you recognize that. I think drug addiction trains our brains to want immediate gratification. We get so used to using a drug to rapidly relieve any unwanted feeling/sensation/emotion, that we aren't used to feeling pain, illness, depression, anxiety, etc without just automatically reacting by using some dope to make us feel (temporarily) better. I think the key for me in being able to quit and stay off opioids has been the realization that I don't NEED to make whatever is bothering me stop. It feels like a need, but it isn't. And me wishing "I just want this withdrawal to stop NOW and to feel all better NOW" is a useless thought because the reality of the situation is that heroin is the only thing that would make it stop right away and that doesn't solve anything, it would just be back even worse as soon as the heroin wore off and obviously I wanted to quit for some very good reasons. I can't expect an overnight recovery. So I'm really trying to change the way I think about things. Hopefully that makes sense.

You are doing so well <3 And you too MiraLuv!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top