nanobrain
Bluelighter
2C-C - first time - 24mg - Intense Relaxation, My Hairy Ass
preamble: a few months back, i realised i could use some relaxation, a desire to take my mind off my mind was clouding my mind, and having read many a report on how 2C-C was a gentle representative of its class with a prominent visual component and little to no body load, this was the selected medicine.
abstract: intense relaxation - my hairy ass, 24mg was a whapadang of a psychedelic trip where 2.5 hours in, the open eye hallucinations were indistinguishable from close eyed visions, which proved a distraction and melted away to perceptions of pure clarity as to the way Things Should Be….but first things first.
the story: T 0:00 afternoon, the gelcap containing ~24mg of the crystalline white powder in a quick dissolve gelcap swallowed with apple juice following a 16 hour fast, 2g piracetam, 1g l-phenylalanine, 250mg centrophenoxine, 2 caps American ginseng, some cups of coffee (daily nootropic stack), a cardio-heavy workout by the beach, a few cones of some local hydro - all this on a 40C scorcher of a day when even the regular holiday beach fluff was too wilted to preen properly. stupidity in retrospect, the whole half-nutted idea, should have waited for a cooler day and a cooler head…
T 0:20 taken care of the “dirty carpet" thing with a vacuum job and washed the dishes, no one home but us ducks – that’s me and the cat, who is flat on its back from the heat.
T 0:30 off baseline, my this is quick onset, well, why not go out to grab some things from the store, fruits, some cheese and fresh bread for later. the local supermarket is looking extra plastiky, fake in all the gloss.
a ++ and up. manage to transact the purchase of some dodgy fruit – sketchy as it seems to be living still in an all not too friendly fashion, the notion of “cheese” a product of aged curdled bovine mammary secretions at this point is totally alien, bread is forgotten altogether in the confusion of brand name colour.
of course, the teller is brand new, to him the concept of fruit seems to be alien as well as he has to check the price of every item at least twice, as the que builds behind me, their eyes boring irritation into my back.
escape! avoiding looking at faces as they is key as they are starting to distort…
T 1:00 back home, the cat greets me with an intense ageless predator stare each of its long hairs in perfect order, i can see the cats aura / biofield. it flees in indignation when i reach to stroke it, i can feel the dander and the extra cat hair left on my hand which i try to brush off but it is imaginary cat hair so i have a fairly hard time trying to get rid of it.
T 1:30 on goes the music but everything sounds very amped, harsh and electric, the controls to the sound unit are a nuisance to manipulate and fail to produce that sweet sonic relief. psytrance is jarring and evil, dub seems to have a hidden meaning prompting me to a revolution, i cant find the Glen Gould disk.
there is only one solution to the sonic crisis, on go the Grateful Dead, but it’s the Wrong Show, Jerry never sounded so sick, Donna is ruining the whole shaggy thing with her vaginal howls how do i turn this thing off???
T 2:00 hmmm, seems we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto, and thank your mother for the rabbits. +++ the floor is now showing a peculiar proclivity to morphing underfoot, an unnerving tactile sensation felt right through the Tevas, making the idea of lying down a queasy notion indeed.
Paranoia, Fear, cold self analytical loathing and hyperthermia alternating with extreme chills, better lie down after all. i begin to sink through the carpeted floor as predicted and can hear my neighbors in the apartments across the street silently reproaching me of my psychedelic drug use.
T 2:30 massive quantities of electromagnetic information are being continually broadcast across the planet, radio, hi frequency, microwave, cellular and TV spectra, too many others, and my brain is the crystal picking up all this jumbled data, scrambled refracting noise, like being dropped in a small boat onto the surface of a small, log jammed pond and watching the waves coming back off the edges of the pond and off each other, and i feel rocked in the flimsy boat and try to form a psychic shield against the ceaseless bombardment – i could use that special alloy-foil helmet i saw advertised on Latenight Internet the other day…
the phone rings, which makes me very angry for its just the logical extension of the informational assault, i yank the cord out of the wall along with the broadband connection, the LCD screens winking into blackness.
the mobile is next, off it goes. wrong planet, wrong vibration, time to get off this particular train of being. try to focus on my breathing but cant seem to find my centre, which adds to the electric unease, fucking Sasha gone done and fixed up a molecule which has now opened the overload floodgates in my cranium.
T 3:00-T 6:00 the door opens, the Soulmate, she flows in, her long gleaming hair leaving heavy tracers that shift through the visible spectrum revealing hues that revolve from one soft metallic polarity to another, iridescent. her greeting and smile intensifies the panic for some reason. “you’ve taken something”, she says casually after a cursory look at my upturned face on the floor, all black pupils and cold sweat. i try to guess whether the body attached to the face is mine.
i try to tel her that I am melting through the floor, but cannot vocalise, words do not mesh, too slow. for that matter, the “up” and “down” have become pliable and rather intermixed. which one should i be after?
she sits on the floor and grabs my hand, squeezing and holding steady, gentle, looks into my eyes, “it will be over soon”, her voice clear channel across electric smog. i attempt to refocus on the breathing, give up trying to make sense, close my eyes. there is an almost immediate transition, remotely reminiscent of smoked DMT, a beckoning and the hallucinations descend as i exhale and begin to float off.
the first hallucination stays with me still, now 6 months since:
underneath a cloudless endless cobalt sky, the great snow capped mountain behind, lush green valleys around and below, an icy spring from a monolith flows pure, becoming a rushing river in the hazy distance.
a higher, evolved version of myself sits in a relaxed lotus position, meditating on the nature of thought. in this place of supreme clarity, where the very air, while silent is charged with life, there is perfect harmony of the body mind, energy flows through the chakras, unimpeded by the former damage now overcome.
here, a grain of rice per day is sufficient for daily physical sustenance as breathing is a much more effective form of energy intake, all function is accord. each breath free of pain and stress and fear, this enough in and of itself to provide the essence of the Truth upon which to meditate and how simple the Truth - it is all one, you create that which is real and Free Will means You have reason enough and power to change this Reality.
how very far from the technogenic hell and self-induced pollution of my daily existence this place, how far the Higher Self from the me that is, but this was just a fleeting glimpse, i am inexorably pulled back to the self, alas the local version. back in the body, which is in anguish. in a matter of disorganised secons the causative nature and the un-necessity of the ongoing self punishment which has, as it appears, been the dominant paradigm operating my biorobot is very apparent.
this realisation is not new, i’ve had this on 18mg 2C-I, but in a slower fashion. the destructive relationship patterns and habits are brought in their undeniable truth into crystal multifaceted focus. each new realisation this results in much projectile vomiting over the next 2 hours, felt as detoxification and followed by cleansing tears.
peace came, after, leaving me drained but with a center and a calmness, the barrage of sensory overload now just a trickle in the oversensitized CNS.
T 7:00 conversation possible, still totally anorexic, a massage feels wonderful to the exhausted and wrung-out body, Soulmate warm, reproach held for a later time, cat now reemerges sensing a change in the energy state. 1mg alprazolam enables sleep at T 8:00, filled with dreams of mountains and green fields and the clear water of the liquid sky.
epilogue: there are no such animals as lightweight psychedelics, many things are possible, will to power. peace and respect,
nano
preamble: a few months back, i realised i could use some relaxation, a desire to take my mind off my mind was clouding my mind, and having read many a report on how 2C-C was a gentle representative of its class with a prominent visual component and little to no body load, this was the selected medicine.
abstract: intense relaxation - my hairy ass, 24mg was a whapadang of a psychedelic trip where 2.5 hours in, the open eye hallucinations were indistinguishable from close eyed visions, which proved a distraction and melted away to perceptions of pure clarity as to the way Things Should Be….but first things first.
the story: T 0:00 afternoon, the gelcap containing ~24mg of the crystalline white powder in a quick dissolve gelcap swallowed with apple juice following a 16 hour fast, 2g piracetam, 1g l-phenylalanine, 250mg centrophenoxine, 2 caps American ginseng, some cups of coffee (daily nootropic stack), a cardio-heavy workout by the beach, a few cones of some local hydro - all this on a 40C scorcher of a day when even the regular holiday beach fluff was too wilted to preen properly. stupidity in retrospect, the whole half-nutted idea, should have waited for a cooler day and a cooler head…
T 0:20 taken care of the “dirty carpet" thing with a vacuum job and washed the dishes, no one home but us ducks – that’s me and the cat, who is flat on its back from the heat.
T 0:30 off baseline, my this is quick onset, well, why not go out to grab some things from the store, fruits, some cheese and fresh bread for later. the local supermarket is looking extra plastiky, fake in all the gloss.
a ++ and up. manage to transact the purchase of some dodgy fruit – sketchy as it seems to be living still in an all not too friendly fashion, the notion of “cheese” a product of aged curdled bovine mammary secretions at this point is totally alien, bread is forgotten altogether in the confusion of brand name colour.
of course, the teller is brand new, to him the concept of fruit seems to be alien as well as he has to check the price of every item at least twice, as the que builds behind me, their eyes boring irritation into my back.
escape! avoiding looking at faces as they is key as they are starting to distort…
T 1:00 back home, the cat greets me with an intense ageless predator stare each of its long hairs in perfect order, i can see the cats aura / biofield. it flees in indignation when i reach to stroke it, i can feel the dander and the extra cat hair left on my hand which i try to brush off but it is imaginary cat hair so i have a fairly hard time trying to get rid of it.
T 1:30 on goes the music but everything sounds very amped, harsh and electric, the controls to the sound unit are a nuisance to manipulate and fail to produce that sweet sonic relief. psytrance is jarring and evil, dub seems to have a hidden meaning prompting me to a revolution, i cant find the Glen Gould disk.
there is only one solution to the sonic crisis, on go the Grateful Dead, but it’s the Wrong Show, Jerry never sounded so sick, Donna is ruining the whole shaggy thing with her vaginal howls how do i turn this thing off???
T 2:00 hmmm, seems we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto, and thank your mother for the rabbits. +++ the floor is now showing a peculiar proclivity to morphing underfoot, an unnerving tactile sensation felt right through the Tevas, making the idea of lying down a queasy notion indeed.
Paranoia, Fear, cold self analytical loathing and hyperthermia alternating with extreme chills, better lie down after all. i begin to sink through the carpeted floor as predicted and can hear my neighbors in the apartments across the street silently reproaching me of my psychedelic drug use.
T 2:30 massive quantities of electromagnetic information are being continually broadcast across the planet, radio, hi frequency, microwave, cellular and TV spectra, too many others, and my brain is the crystal picking up all this jumbled data, scrambled refracting noise, like being dropped in a small boat onto the surface of a small, log jammed pond and watching the waves coming back off the edges of the pond and off each other, and i feel rocked in the flimsy boat and try to form a psychic shield against the ceaseless bombardment – i could use that special alloy-foil helmet i saw advertised on Latenight Internet the other day…
the phone rings, which makes me very angry for its just the logical extension of the informational assault, i yank the cord out of the wall along with the broadband connection, the LCD screens winking into blackness.
the mobile is next, off it goes. wrong planet, wrong vibration, time to get off this particular train of being. try to focus on my breathing but cant seem to find my centre, which adds to the electric unease, fucking Sasha gone done and fixed up a molecule which has now opened the overload floodgates in my cranium.
T 3:00-T 6:00 the door opens, the Soulmate, she flows in, her long gleaming hair leaving heavy tracers that shift through the visible spectrum revealing hues that revolve from one soft metallic polarity to another, iridescent. her greeting and smile intensifies the panic for some reason. “you’ve taken something”, she says casually after a cursory look at my upturned face on the floor, all black pupils and cold sweat. i try to guess whether the body attached to the face is mine.
i try to tel her that I am melting through the floor, but cannot vocalise, words do not mesh, too slow. for that matter, the “up” and “down” have become pliable and rather intermixed. which one should i be after?
she sits on the floor and grabs my hand, squeezing and holding steady, gentle, looks into my eyes, “it will be over soon”, her voice clear channel across electric smog. i attempt to refocus on the breathing, give up trying to make sense, close my eyes. there is an almost immediate transition, remotely reminiscent of smoked DMT, a beckoning and the hallucinations descend as i exhale and begin to float off.
the first hallucination stays with me still, now 6 months since:
underneath a cloudless endless cobalt sky, the great snow capped mountain behind, lush green valleys around and below, an icy spring from a monolith flows pure, becoming a rushing river in the hazy distance.
a higher, evolved version of myself sits in a relaxed lotus position, meditating on the nature of thought. in this place of supreme clarity, where the very air, while silent is charged with life, there is perfect harmony of the body mind, energy flows through the chakras, unimpeded by the former damage now overcome.
here, a grain of rice per day is sufficient for daily physical sustenance as breathing is a much more effective form of energy intake, all function is accord. each breath free of pain and stress and fear, this enough in and of itself to provide the essence of the Truth upon which to meditate and how simple the Truth - it is all one, you create that which is real and Free Will means You have reason enough and power to change this Reality.
how very far from the technogenic hell and self-induced pollution of my daily existence this place, how far the Higher Self from the me that is, but this was just a fleeting glimpse, i am inexorably pulled back to the self, alas the local version. back in the body, which is in anguish. in a matter of disorganised secons the causative nature and the un-necessity of the ongoing self punishment which has, as it appears, been the dominant paradigm operating my biorobot is very apparent.
this realisation is not new, i’ve had this on 18mg 2C-I, but in a slower fashion. the destructive relationship patterns and habits are brought in their undeniable truth into crystal multifaceted focus. each new realisation this results in much projectile vomiting over the next 2 hours, felt as detoxification and followed by cleansing tears.
peace came, after, leaving me drained but with a center and a calmness, the barrage of sensory overload now just a trickle in the oversensitized CNS.
T 7:00 conversation possible, still totally anorexic, a massage feels wonderful to the exhausted and wrung-out body, Soulmate warm, reproach held for a later time, cat now reemerges sensing a change in the energy state. 1mg alprazolam enables sleep at T 8:00, filled with dreams of mountains and green fields and the clear water of the liquid sky.
epilogue: there are no such animals as lightweight psychedelics, many things are possible, will to power. peace and respect,
nano
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