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28 year old male. libido pretty much gone since I was around 23

tazz20

tazz20

Bluelighter
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
can anyone else relate to this? I've been on ssri antidepressants for many years and I was under the impression that this caused this. I've been dealing with erectile issues ever since. I've been off the meds since this past September of last year and it is still a tricky situation. Went to the urologist and said it's all psychological. Diet and exercise were his recommendations to regain my sex drive. Luckily enough I can get ed pills for a dollar a pill legally but I know that won't help the desire to have sex. Can anyone else here relate or do you have any advice? I also wonder if my porn habits have also caused it by assume my anxiety issues are to blame. I was under the impression that receiving a blowjob from any girl would automatically get me going but I've learned that sex is apparently all mental and you really need to be attracted to the person you are sleeping with....I asked the doc about maca root supplements but apparently those can be dangerous. Any girl I've been with was not someone I was fully attracted to so I assumed that had something to do with it. I also realize that even being with a girl I have full attraction to would probably give me some form of performance anxiety. I just rarely get really horny anymore and idk what it is. I'll wake up with morning wood and feel it a bit in the morning but in the evening my sexual desire is pretty much gone. Porn isn't even what it used to be for me... I'll still get very mild horny moments maybe after doing something like yoga so I assume I'm not totally broken but it's extremely mild.

wtf happen to that horny 14 year old boy in me that would go nuts when he sees a cute girl? how the fuck do I get that back? what happen to those days of seeing softcore sex in a movie and going crazy or seeing a victorias secret magazine and getting all flustered? ok maybe it won't be exactly like that ever again and I do believe that porn rewires the brain but I want to have that feeling back to some extent when I was younger. Like the site of a cute girl or a girl's figure should at least trigger something in my brain, but I find that certain porn is the only thing that can trigger it. I will be honest that my lifestyle isn't the absolute greatest. I get drunk here and there and I smoke weed pretty often. I've also been rolling on mdma almost like once a month since this previous september since I've been off meds. I just hope there is hope for me...
 
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fuck at least you wake up with morning wood lol if I did i would fap but NO I DONT FUCKING WAKE UP WITH MORNING WOOD BRB CRY
 
tazz20 said:
I'd like to believe there is hope for us both
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YEAH....i believe i gotta put the drugs down but its a struggle people messaging me want cold?when i already have like a gram in my room fml
 
Specified said:
YEAH....i believe i gotta put the drugs down but its a struggle people messaging me want cold?when i already have like a gram in my room fml
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You might need to and I understand it's not easy
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Are you depressed?
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I can get that way a bit. I'm also convinced my previous ecstasy session about a week ago probably had some speed in it which probably does not help my situation. I went off meds due to the fact that I was convinced it wasn't doing enough for me and was causing me sexual issues. I was also curious about experimenting with mdma as a "recreational" thing, which that reason on it's own I agree is stupid.
 
was asking OP but I don't mind you answered.

Depression can prevent an orgasm by distracting your mind from enjoying what you're experiencing and distracting you from otherwise "ideal sexual thoughts". On/off medication does not seem to matter; medication makes you less aware of poorly adaptive thought patterns, not change them.

tazz20 said:
I can get that way a bit. I'm also convinced my previous ecstasy session about a week ago probably had some speed in it which probably does not help my situation. I went off meds due to the fact that I was convinced it wasn't doing enough for me and was causing me sexual issues. I was also curious about experimenting with mdma as a "recreational" thing, which that reason on it's own I agree is stupid.
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Is the issue getting a boner or getting to the point of orgasm despite having a boner?

Forgive my crude way of asking.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
was asking OP but I don't mind you answered.

Depression can prevent an orgasm by distracting your mind from enjoying what you're experiencing and distracting you from otherwise "ideal sexual thoughts". On/off medication does not seem to matter; medication makes you less aware of poorly adaptive thought patterns, not change them.


Is the issue getting a boner or getting to the point of orgasm despite having a boner?

Forgive my crude way of asking.
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I feel like erections aren't as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. I'd say orgasms are not what they used to be either. It's just also bothersome to me that I don't know what sex truly feels like. I'd try to get it in with any girl who I wasn't really physically attracted to but I guess it doesn't work that way. I also realize I may sound like a bit of a douche. Like my hand has brought me more pleasure than a vagina. I felt zero stimulation from the last girl I was with even when I was hard inside her. I took a pill of what was allegedly cialis (which was effective on my own) and had a few drinks and smoked some bud prior to us fucking which prob didnt help either
 
tazz20 said:
I feel like erections aren't as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. I'd say orgasms are not what they used to be either. It's just also bothersome to me that I don't know what sex truly feels like. I'd try to get it in with any girl who I wasn't really physically attracted to but I guess it doesn't work that way. I also realize I may sound like a bit of a douche. Like my hand has brought me more pleasure than a vagina. I felt zero stimulation from the last girl I was with even when I was hard inside her. I took a pill of what was allegedly cialis (which was effective on my own) and had a few drinks and smoked some bud prior to us fucking which prob didnt help either
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your not alone i cant cum when inside.......its the condom which fucks it up....i cant cum with condoms or was it bbfs?
 
tazz20 said:
I feel like erections aren't as strong or as long lasting as they used to be. I'd say orgasms are not what they used to be either. It's just also bothersome to me that I don't know what sex truly feels like. I'd try to get it in with any girl who I wasn't really physically attracted to but I guess it doesn't work that way. I also realize I may sound like a bit of a douche. Like my hand has brought me more pleasure than a vagina. I felt zero stimulation from the last girl I was with even when I was hard inside her. I took a pill of what was allegedly cialis (which was effective on my own) and had a few drinks and smoked some bud prior to us fucking which prob didnt help either
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Sexuality can become mute/numb/pointless if you are used to porn and feel psychologically "safer" with it. Porn is not really my cup of tea compared to the real thing and perhaps I am deeply lucky for that.
 
they need to make a libido pill like viagra............Viagras shit you need a libido to start off with:mad:
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Sexuality can become mute/numb/pointless if you are used to porn and feel psychologically "safer" with it. Porn is not really my cup of tea compared to the real thing and perhaps I am deeply lucky for that.
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yea I'm trying to refresh my brain and take a break from porn and even masturbation (maybe even try to give up porn) I'm assuming having my anxiety under control will help my sexual appetite
 
giving up porn should definitely help. there is reason to believe viewing porn/history of porn watching can interrupt sexuality. I can't exactly explain or put it into words well.
 
Specified said:
they need to make a libido pill like viagra............Viagras shit you need a libido to start off with:mad:
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that stuff is definitely effective but yes you need to be in some sort of mood. I'm assuming with the right girl it can work. Even not thinking about sex erection pills will "activate" for me but it is definitely not a total magic fix
 
I would definitely also cut back the MDMA use. Once a month is a bit much and it will definitely effect you negatively.

Also you said you seen a urologist? Did you ever get your test levels checked? If you’re low in test you’ll have less desire and libido.
 
Your body is working; your mind isn't.

My guess would be to give your mind a little help. Sex happens in context, but not in your context. Try reading or watching some kind of romantic fiction or movie, anything with a well-developed storyline. It might help you recover the association between sex and positive feelings.
 
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