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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

24 year old addict in serach of advice

Hey Tham, sorry I did not post yesterday. For some reason, even though I am a day ahead of you, yesterday was worse for me physically, so I stayed in bed all day with the "flu," and my kids stayed with my ex. I feel the same way you do, but I have so much more to lose than you do. I cannot even play games at all, they seem empty and no fun without the opiates. I promise you will not be happier slipping back into addiction. You will eventually lose your wife, job, kids, and the respect of your parents. Of course you feel empt and depressed now; so do I. But I cannot survive ten more years of this hell. I am taking decongestants, dextromethorphan, NSAIDS (like aleve) cyclobenzaprine, vitamins, and Lyrica. For some strange reason, my diarrhea did not begin until yesterday, so I took my first immodium last night (regular dose).

I am afraid to go to NA meetings due to my children, so I think you are lucky to have the support of your family. I keep reading these posts for support. I want to relapse about every hour, and last night was bad, but I keep on reading and thinking about living in the moment, not the past. You are so young, so it will be easy to find new hobbies that have nothing to do with being high (or in my case, numb, since the high left so long ago). I plan to find a real happiness, not this pathetic excuse for existing numb to emotions. Keep reading these posts and try to remember that we all have these feelings of worry and depression. But I need some valleys so I can have some future peaks. I cannot keep living numb.
 
Feelold, I'm very sorry. Keep on plugging along like I am. It def sucks bad. I am still in w/d on day 9. Almost day 10 from the last time I took subs. I thought this would be over but it's not. Seems like subs w/d lasts so freaking long. I hope your feeling better than I am now. I still want to take shit. I hope I continue to stay strong. I know that the high fades quick and your left with increasing doses. I'm trying to keep that in my mind. Thanks for your insight and your knowledge. Keep strong!
 
Hey guys! It won't last forever. Just remember what you're going through now. If you were to relapse, it would put you back in the same spot. Then you have to start all over again. Whether it be Percocet, subs or loperimide it's just dragging out the inevitable withdrawals.
 
Thanks for some insight to relapsing. I hope I can remain strong. Its been 10 days. It still sucks so bad. I hope that PAWS isn't horrible for me. All I can do is romanticize how nice it was to take some pills. Almost all things I do remind me of it.
 
Made it today. Hope I make it through the night. I'm in an unbelievable amount of back, neck, head and leg pain. I was getting norco for a legit pain problem. I hear a lot of people's pain is better once they get off narcotics. Hope that's the case for me.
 
Way to go tham.. you really have to be just about there=D Tham you should be really proud of the amazing successful effort you have made.. making it through that tunnel is no joke, you have to be right there tham.. just a little bit longer and you will be out, amazing stuff sir<3=D and the pain you have is almost certainly generated by the withdrawals.. and you are so right, in the beginning opiates mask pain but as the body adjusts the start to magnify the pain as your dose is metabolized. Way to hang in there as there is freedom at the end of the tunnel%)

light_at_the_end_of_the_tunnel_by_twilightluvsmidnight-d2xlmc4.jpg

as you just got married I thought this tunnel fit nicely
 
Thank you never sick anymore! Getting through another day. Day 12... I really appreciate all the support. PS I sent you a pm back about something. Did you get it? Tomorrow will be day 13, next 2 weeks!!! YAY!
 
Tham are you still getting up in the morning feeling just as bad or worse or did you get to that magical morning where you woke up feeling better than you did before you went to bed.. cause it has to be sooo close.. your doing great tham... love the attitude, the importance of always looking on the bright side can not be overstated... nice work:). Since you are so close to the physical addiction packing up the war tents and running what is your plan to deal with the real addiction and the paws.. generally people get about a two and a half day window where they feel great and then are hit with the shame and guilt emotions.. have you come up with a plan to continue your recovery and live a very peaceful and amazing life with out the use of opiates? Nice work, theres no going back now tham, you just have pushed to far and are almost there=D<3
 
Thank you so much everyone. There is a university recovery program for college students recovering from alcohol and addiction as it can be so hard on college students in the college environment as it seems everyone is doing that stuff. I hope that will help. Today was a little better. Not as much thinking about it. I'm hoping tomorrow is the better day for me. I did have some stressful events today. One of our pets of 16 years passed away. We saw it coming but still sucks. Also some personal issues but i'm trying to avoid thinking opiates are a solution.
 
^ Keep it up! Remember that there is no problem so bad that using won't make it worse...


“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”
-The Dalai Lama
 
Thanks cf! That's a really good quote! Thanks for sharing that with me! I have stayed clean so far. I'm sure this will be a hard. So can any one shed light on this... My doc (addictionologist) which is a anti drug nazi... I mean he hated me being on Ritalin and said no alcohol or anything like that. He said something that shocked me. If I needed anything for pain I could take Tylenol 3 and some other narcotic but not to take Vic or oxy etc... Weird but he's been an addictionologist for 25 years. It was shocking to me to hear that.
 
He said for instance if I broke my arm I could use that for a week etc. he named another I'm not familiar with and can't remember.
 
I would only consider this after your opiat receptors have really shut down and you have some time away from the opiates.. and really how much is the little codeine going to help.. nada:\ so why bother?

EDIT: You know tham over the course of this thread my mental image of you has come to resemble that of an opiat addict prince to some kingdom somewhere.. just what materialized in my mind from what you have posted.. ha, any truth to this crazy thought sir?
 
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Yeah, I don't know. I guess in surgery or broken arm etc having something more than Tylenol for pain would be awesome. I'm sure my wife would be extreme in terms of regulating the script of 10 pills lol. Haha I'm not too sure what your trying to say. Can you elaborate for me :).

Day 13 yay!
 
Hey there,
Have you considered seeing either a psychic medium or someone spiritual who can take you through your past life or help you through things spiritually?
 
No I haven't. What can they do? Explain? Thanks. Today is two weeks. Actually extremely depressed. Took 15mg adderall today along with 100mg Wellbutrin sr. Not sure what is going on. I cant even tell ive taken adderall except for insomnia at night. I have had 1 beer since I turned 21 and I'm 24. I might have a beer tonight or a glass of wine. Honestly I feel like I'm taking a ton more medicines than I was before I stopped... I heard that Wellbutrin and alcohol shouldn't be mixed due to seizures but 1 might be okay?
 
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