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24 year old addict in serach of advice

Hello all. I felt I needed to check in. I've been super busy and tomorrow at 7:30 I will be married. I'm incredibly nervous and still am battling the addiction and am quite disappointed with my progress. We are going to the Florida Keys for our honeymoon and all I wanted to do is sit back and enjoy a beer with my wife to be and enjoy life. Unfortunately I screwed up and didn't meet the deadline for the taper. I was taking norco again. Today I am no taking suboxone only 9 hours after my last norco dose and am worried I will go into withdrawal but I really had no choice as felt in bad withdrawal and have a long list of things to do for the wedding and some had to be done for tonight and the rehearsal. I'm wondering whats happening now that I've taken suboxone 1 hour ago. I go from hot/cold flashes, sweating to okay for 2 minutes and then back and forth.

I really put my fiance in a bind and she was the one worried about doing this before the wedding. I have NOT given up and continue daily to fight this. My next step is actual rehab after the wedding is over and before school. I obviously even when my willpower is strong the mind games this plays on you makes you feel like you are dieing without it. I know people here understand. Has anyone used lyrica? I think I'm needing something to help my mood as I'm feeling depressed. I should be excited about a lot of things that I no longer find joy in. Any tips here would be nice. Thanks again to all that have been looking out for me. Don't lose hope in me as I haven't yet.
 
Hello again, I wanted to throw out my quick update for the suboxone transition. 9 hours after my last 25mg of norco I was in bad w/d. I took 1mg x 3 times slowly of 2 hours and some of my w/d melted away. I still might need just a little more but overall most of my symptoms are minor and I can finish out today with my wedding rehearsal and dinner.
 
tham1288 said:
Hello again, I wanted to throw out my quick update for the suboxone transition. 9 hours after my last 25mg of norco I was in bad w/d. I took 1mg x 3 times slowly of 2 hours and some of my w/d melted away. I still might need just a little more but overall most of my symptoms are minor and I can finish out today with my wedding rehearsal and dinner.
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An update to all that are following. I just got back from my honeymoon and decided to come into a detox center which is where I am no. My suboxone doctor said he didn't want to give me suboxone anymore because I wasn't taking it like he directed me to. I was taking way less than he wanted to so he cut me off and told me my withdrawals should be minimal. Needless to say they weren't and 48 hours in I was a freaking train wreck. I'm in now and am starting on tranxene, deplin, Wellbutrin 100mg sr, and suboxone I've been given 2 doses today and will have 1 more tomorrow than ill be done. Rest is going to be detox meds. I'm scared out of my mind. I had not option as my wife said no more she would jot support me killing myself slowly. Any advice and support is really needed as I go trough this. He said In should be opiate free Monday and onto better things in my life. I just need to man up and do it. I have my phone so I can surf the net. Please keep me in your prayers. I am losing my mind. How bad do you think my withdrawals will get from the suboxone and will the clonidine and tranxene help me? What about restless leg syndrome. I'm sorry for the Brick of writing but I'm typing from my phone and also going nutts. I'm in a regular hospital and not detox center. I'm able to have my wife here to stay with me through it. Please help me.
 
Hi Tham, you're doing the best thing getting a quick detox. I had done a couple 4-5 day stays. The first one was using methadone and the second time was suboxone. Each day they gave me less until down to nothing and went home. I didn't get the restless legs at all.

The tricky part was the cravings, especially not getting rid of the old oxy prescription was a mistake I made. It's like you mentioned, the game these drugs play on your mind. If they are there, you will find a reason to use them sooner or later. Hang in there because it does get better. I'm glad you have the support of your family and wife. Congratulations! <3
 
Thank you. I'm taking the last 2mg strip now that they gave me and then I get no more. Only clonidine, tranxene, Wellbutrin, deplin. I hope this makes it bearable. I hate not beig able to sleep and can't deal with restless leg syndrome. How bad do you think this will be for me? I'm extremely scared. I have no option at this point I'm going through it. Do you think it will be that bad with the support of these other medications? Thanks for the reply. I need the most support as this is the biggest decision in my entire life.
 
Hey tham1288:).. its sounds to me that you have a good med line up.. you can do this.. calm down and realize that you are going to be a little sick.. your going to feel ruff.. but its not permanent.. you will have to do this.. we all have had or will have to do this.. there is no easy way out.. so just try and accept the fact that your going to feel bad but its something you have to, can do, and are going to do.. also strange phenomena of detoxing opiates is that it often reflects how you think it will be.. so in all honesty its going to be ruff but not nearly as bad as you think.. find things to take your mind off it.. anything is better than sitting around thinking of how shitty you feel.. when ever you think man i feel to bad to do anything get up and do something.. doesn't make it worse and takes your mind off it.. always remember that the way you are feeling is only temporary and in a little while you will feel good and in a little while after that you will feel great.. how was the wedding? good i hope.. keep your mind focussed an all the good stuff.. always good.. for instance of you start to think I feel awful then flip it to I'm going to get better and never have to feel bad again and i will be rid of these handcuffs.. you are doing great.. remember that it often pushes really hard right before it breaks so when it get really bad you are just about there.. it only take a little while to walk out of where you have found yourself.. you are doing great and there is nothing to be scared of, your just going to feel like your sick.. and you can deal with being sick for a little while to be rid of this shit for good.. way to go.. remember that your amazing and your worth doing this.. it only sucks for a little while.. smile your almost free=D<3=D
 
You sound very determined and I know you can do it. But I second what someone else posted, you are going to need a support group once you get clean in order to STAY clean. I would highly recommend getting active in Narcotics Anonymous.
 
Thanks for the responses. Seems like suboxone is a pretty strange drug to come off of. The tranxene is helping with keeping me sedated but when it starts wearing off I can feel the symptoms of rls come on. He says I can go home tomorrow depending on how I feel. Do you think being in here to 5 days. 2 of which I received suboxone is strange? Usually they titrate the dose down but I was given 3 doses. 2mg 2x day 1 (Wednesday) 2mg 1x Thursday. Leave Sunday. How does this sound? I haven't needed clonidine yet but plan on asking for it tonight. He wants me of tranxene tonight. Should I be worried that suboxone isn't over the worst of the withdrawals.
 
yes you should be concerned.. subs have a long half life and you may have not even started to withdraw.. i hope this is not the case, but i would stick around till monday but as of day four you should feel it if its going to happen.. but i really hope you snuck out.. lets see how you feel tomorrow.. but keep it positive and plan on feeling good.. nice work tham1288,
 
I am going insane. I hate this. All I can think is get pills and you will feel better. I'm emotionally a wreck. Does this get better or will I alway think pills?!!?
 
What can I do to make these thoughts to away. I want to laugh and enjoy life and I'm miserable. I feel like if I could take something I would feel fine.
 
It will get better.

The first few days is extremely tough. I hope you can make it through. I think you can.

edit:

If you take something, you will feel fine. But that relief is temporary. It's fake. You can laugh and enjoy life again without drugs, as impossible as that seems in the moment. Push hard.
 
neversickanymore said:
never heard a wiser statement :)
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Agreed 100%.

OP, please don't give in...it will start the cycle all over again. It is common to relapse and not the end of the world but you have been working toward this for a long time. When you are having those cravings do something, anything to occupy your mind. I know you don't feel great physically yet but you can find something you might enjoy. Also, just keep in the back of your mind how proud your wife and family will be with your success. And how nice it will be a short time from now to be back to normal and really enjoying your new lease on life. And how you don't want to start the cycle all over again. Good luck and we will be thinking of you. Please keep us updated and remember you will have support here no matter what.
 
Thanks for all the support. I did pick something up but I ended up giving it to my parents. I made it through the night. How do you tackle knowing you have long days ahead of you. I dreamed of lortabs all night (when I could sleep) thanks god. The last time I had suboxone or anything was last Thursday at 2:00. Do you think this is subsiding or I would be getting worse by now? I was on low doses. Thanks for the continued support.
 
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