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24 hours in.. Please help

L

littleevilpills

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 6, 2015
Messages
62
I have been using Percocet and vicodin recreationally for 5 or 6 years. 100 mg a day. Crushing them up and snorting them. I visit the hospital at least once a week for the past year drug seeking. They still hook me up (pancreatitis). I've tried for a year to quit. When things dry up I always tell myself I am done. Well you know the story. I'm done until I can find something. I'm sick and tired of being sick and Fucking tired. Seriously. I am getting married in a month and I am going to key west Florida for my hunnymoon. My fiance and I are so deep in debt because of my secret habit. She thinks we have the worst luck ever with life. My car has broken down 10 times this year already. Well that's what she thinks. I just needed a reason the take a few hundred bucks out of the bank.

Yesterday I took my last 5mg vicodin at 8am before work. So 8am two hours ago was 24 hours. Cold chills set in and do did the shits. I started taking prescription bentyl and it is helping with stomach cramping and shits. I'm trying to keep busy and attempting. Well more like forcing myself to play with my daughter for happiness. Not too much can make me smile right now. I want to do this for a better life. I want to do this for me. Not my family. As bad as that sounds. I need to do it for myself. Then for my family. I'm sick of being broke. We have a really good chance to get back on our feet right now with the 6000 dollars were getting in a few weeks And I do not want to fuck it up with blowing it all on pills.

I usually can't make it past 8 hours after my last dose. But something seems different this time. Like its not as bad as normally when trying to quit. I'm not sure if it's my mentality this time around?

First 8 hours - started mentally wanting more, but was at work so didn't think much about it.

After the first 8 hours - started searching for some pills on the street but gave up.

Hours 16-24 After last dose - woke up multiple times in cold sweats. Stomach cramping

Woke up 10am this morning - fast heart beat, shaking anxiety and the shits.

Can I use you guys to lean on to help me get through this? I'm going to pick up some lope here in a bit. Things are starting to feel annoying to the touch.

I have mixed emotions. I have a blast of happiness and tell myself YOU CAN DO THIS.

Then it goes straight into depression and feel like I can't.

Please help
 
Update 3:29pm.

I'm coming up on 30 hours and it's getting so hard to push the shit out of my head. I keep contemplating how to get my fix. Things I can do to myself to score at the hospital. Things I can do to just get 1 Fucking pill. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep pushing these thoughts out of my head. The physical isn't that bad since I took the lope but the Damn mental abuse I'm going through right now is utter hell. The worst feeling in the entire world. Its like a tug of war game in my brain..... Fml...
 
Not that anybody is commenting but I'll just keep updating this. Maybe some day it'll help somebody get through this.

It's now 7:30pm and I went to the er to try and score. They denied me. So I'm still clean. I couldn't fight the withdrawal anymore. But it is probably for the best. When it comes to what I want my 32nd results to be.

Im now 36 hours clean. The longest I've ever made it is right now. I can keep pushing. I've cut off all contacts. Told them all to fuck off. So I have no way possible of scoring. I had to do it. Or I could simply shoot somebody a message and fuck everything up.

Here's to 36 hours clean. ::-)
 
Keep pushing, think of the out come. I have quit opiates and many other drugs plenty of times but it seems like your usage was for sure longer.
Give it another few days and you will be fine, start lifting and getting your body strong again (natural endorphins)

Trust me, you can relapse if you want. Feel better for a few hours and then regret it to hell later, or suck it up and get through this and be on top of the world when you are not dependent anymore. ALMOST THERE!
 
Swim is 19 days into 33mg 5 year methadone program 6 day to 0 taper. It was bad after 48 hours Swim went to a Detox using bup. 48 hours later swim feel okay just mild leg kicking and absolutely no sleep. I am prepared mentally to know I won't be sleeping for about a month. Try to goto a dr and get some anxiety med and sleeping aids. I went to Walgreens and got restful legs and vitamins and that seems to help a lot. Good luck and your life will be so much better off the opiates. They sure made swims life a living hell for the past 10 years which is why I am finally giving them up.
 
If you become weak find a bup detox near you. If not possible then try to fight it or as a last resort methadone detox it will get you past the hump but you are so very close to being there already.
 
Hey guys. Thanks for replying. Its 5:36am. Almost through day 2. 2 and a half hours it will be day 3 starting. I actually woke up happy knowing that I'm not running to the bathroom to crush up a Percocet. It gave me a REAL SENSE OF WELL BEING that I'm not scared because I'm not holding. I'm not saying the withdrawals are gone because they're not. Here is a list of what's I'm feeling.

Bad stomach cramping: just took a bentyl 10mg

A little anxiety but a lot less than yesterday.

No rls THANK YOU GOD
No cold chills and no crawling skin

You know what? For the first time I was able to wake up with my daughter crying and get her what she needs instead of rely on my fiance because I'm so sick.

I'm very optimistic.

Fast heart rate just kicked in. I hate anxxiety. I had an anxiety disorder prior to my addiction so the anxiety part really punched me.

Chugging some water and trying to go back to sleep.

Thanks everybody.
 
It's 10 minutes out from 8am. 8am will take me into the 3rd day. And put me at 48 hours exactly. I have some stomach churning making me feel like I am going to have explosive diahrrea lol my mental status is actually recently stable. I catch myself thinking about it every few minutes. I have an orthopedic appointment today for my leg. But I think I am going to skip it. Because I'm not sure I could say no if they write me a script for pain medicine and I don't have the willpower right now to tell them when I first go in there that I don't want narcotics. So it's best to just skip it for now in my opinion. I confessed my issue to my best friend and he is now standing beside me. Making me go back to the gym starting tonight when he gets off of work. So that should help. Restless legs come and go. But I'm doing much better right now than I thought I would be doing. Figured I would give an update to anybody who is following my post. If you're thinking about quitting. But you're scared. I'm here to talk to you. Just know that you can do it and it will be worth it.
 
Hi, was reading your thread, you are doing great! I was in your shoes many years ago and wish I had battled through, as you are. I saw in an earlier reply suggested bupe or methadone. I know they mean well with this advice, but you are so close to being home free. I couldn't take the mental battle, I found peace in maintenance but it comes with a price. When I found myself broke and in 65mg. of methadone withdrawal for 4 months of hell and no sleep. I would have taken my vicoden withdrawal and did the jig down the middle of the street. I know all withdrawals are a little piece of hell, but I promise there are worse slopes than the one you are on. Keep strong, fight it with everything you have. There is a great life on the other side of this pain. I believe you can do it and you will do it. Best wishes and congrats on the time you have in!
 
9:15 am into my third day now! Just took a walk with my grandpa. I was actually able to walk 2 miles with him and not think about pills at all. It was so amazing and free feeling. I even took some pics for you guys!

http://s21.postimg.org/okwmp1w5j/20150707_082023_HDR.jpg
http://postimg.org/image/m8a10d5on/

As I was posting this. I started to get really weak and my stomach started rumbling. Feels like the shots but nothing's happening. Slight headache and hot flashes. Might be from the walk. Which I've not done for years.

Believe it or not I used to be 140 pounds with an amateur cagefighting record. Now I'm 125 in clothes and haven't been to the gym in 2 years. Pitiful.
 
Last edited:
12:32pm : still a little weak but the annoyed at everything feeling has passed. I've decided to still go to my appointment at the orthopedics for my leg But I told my friend to go with me and he is going to tell the doctor that I'm at addict so I don't need any narcotics just in case I can't tell him. Other than that. Upset stomach has subsided. I am now 52 and a half hours completely clean. Nothing narcotic has entered my system and I feel better more and more.
 
Damn good start. Hang in there. Your fiance is a lucky women. Will power is an awesome thing.
 
Almost at 60 hours. In 2 hours and 20 minutes. Just giving an update. I am STILL clean. Still having anxiety issues and slight depression. My mind keeps Fucking with me. I keep going into these thoughts about how I can score. I've executed a few plans. Only for them to fall through. For the better of course. Luck must be on my side. There is another force helping me. There has to be. I've had 3 attempt at obtaining something fail. I'm glad they did though.
 
I am now 59 and a half hours clean. And helping my fiance plan our trip to key west at the end of this month. Without being high. I can actually concentrate on something and feel involved without having a pill up my nose.
 
Damn, key west. You have to be sober to truly be engaged and enjoy the experience with your fiance on that trip. You got this.
 
Way to crush it little:)


Here is some info that may be helpful if you end up experiencing any paws.

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Aerobic Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts positive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World
Daily Personal Affirmations Log Vs IM THE SHIT & NOT a piece a.. not playing me. NOPE
Managing depressive thinking

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread

Congratulations on the union!!
 
You snort percocet and vicodin???? How the Fuk is your nose not all Fukd up? Just swallow those pills man. Holy crap
 
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