PillLover03
Greenlighter
Hello everyone, I appreciate whoever takes the time to read this you can call me by my username or call me A if you prefer.
I have used this site in my teen years for him prevention and honestly it has saved my life multiple times. You know how it is. You look your combo up on Google and it says your gonna die then you hear how people do it and not die and well, you can do it if you do it rright. Needless to ssy, I was arrested due to my drug use. Pills ran out in 4 days 90 10mg pays and 120 1mg Xanax a month.
I spazzed out and almost shot myself. The cops raided my house and I was tortured quite literally in the county jail for weeks before being released. And I mean legit torture.
So. Getting off probation and out of jail my second time for probation entrapping me, I am near a full year clean of opiods and benzos. However just recently I began to rewind my progress. My suboxone isn't working anymore and my ptsd and depression are at its worst as I have nothing to live for or a single thing to call my own. I just want to go right back into my old habits. I don't have friends. No mom or dad. Noone. There's zero motivation for me anymore to remain clean so I have been abusing my klonopin heavily lately and drinking on it with my suboxone which is not a safe combo but is doable-
That aside. I want my Xanax. I watch my oxys. But don't have access to those specific ones or any frankly. Everyday I live to not feel the internal agony I face everyday and I am not doing this suboxone bullshit anymore. And I am going to embrace my old lifestyle. No reason not to. Yeah yeah I'm young got so much ahead of me blah blah blah I've heard it all, trust me. I've wanted to die since I was a child. Nothings ever fixed it besides the drugs. I will be a happy addict staying in the same spot in life always as long as I can get my buzz.
I likes the road of being clean but there's no reason to stay clean in my life. For those that do get clean no matter the situation I admire you, deeply. Justi cannot attain that unfortunately.
Anyways. Much love, thank yall for reading. Would love to chat in the comments and feel free to ask any questions at all I do not mind one bit.
-A life this site saved,
A
I have used this site in my teen years for him prevention and honestly it has saved my life multiple times. You know how it is. You look your combo up on Google and it says your gonna die then you hear how people do it and not die and well, you can do it if you do it rright. Needless to ssy, I was arrested due to my drug use. Pills ran out in 4 days 90 10mg pays and 120 1mg Xanax a month.
I spazzed out and almost shot myself. The cops raided my house and I was tortured quite literally in the county jail for weeks before being released. And I mean legit torture.
So. Getting off probation and out of jail my second time for probation entrapping me, I am near a full year clean of opiods and benzos. However just recently I began to rewind my progress. My suboxone isn't working anymore and my ptsd and depression are at its worst as I have nothing to live for or a single thing to call my own. I just want to go right back into my old habits. I don't have friends. No mom or dad. Noone. There's zero motivation for me anymore to remain clean so I have been abusing my klonopin heavily lately and drinking on it with my suboxone which is not a safe combo but is doable-
That aside. I want my Xanax. I watch my oxys. But don't have access to those specific ones or any frankly. Everyday I live to not feel the internal agony I face everyday and I am not doing this suboxone bullshit anymore. And I am going to embrace my old lifestyle. No reason not to. Yeah yeah I'm young got so much ahead of me blah blah blah I've heard it all, trust me. I've wanted to die since I was a child. Nothings ever fixed it besides the drugs. I will be a happy addict staying in the same spot in life always as long as I can get my buzz.
I likes the road of being clean but there's no reason to stay clean in my life. For those that do get clean no matter the situation I admire you, deeply. Justi cannot attain that unfortunately.
Anyways. Much love, thank yall for reading. Would love to chat in the comments and feel free to ask any questions at all I do not mind one bit.
-A life this site saved,
A