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2 songs I'm working on, opinions etc if you dont mind please folks.

Zopiclone bandit

Zopiclone bandit

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I've wanted to start my own band for ages but I am shy & in social company I feel weird so I never got around to it as you have to meet new people & I'm not a fan of that stuff myself.
Anyway over the last few months I've had a real burning drive to get something together, I can always can hear heavy riffs in my head & write stuff down daily in a kinda diary thing, a lot of the time when high on smack I write "lyrics" you could call them I guess down. Anway to kep it short the seeds for my Sludge / Doom band have taken root today & I shared two pieces I am proud of with a guy earlier today & he liked them.

Anyoen care to read this & let me know what they think, be that good or bad I don't care I just want some feedback. Keep in mind though the way I am, the way I see the world etc & it is for a band I am making alongside the kinda Meth Drinker / Eyehategod / Moloch / Bongripper sound so it isn't stuff about holding hands with your partner on a sunny day as Unicorns jump around & children laugh.

Song 1 (I call this "Blank / No Hope"

Disillusion / isolation
Misanthropic nihilism
Stigmata through pure faith / bleeding virgin at the altar
Saviour of our suffering
Pain forever

Opiate withdrawl in the summer
Probation violator
Drug testing and treatment order
Forever sick
Midazolam / fake sleeping disorder

Song 2 (untitles so far but it is a tribute to the place all the Sludge bands come from I love)

Voodoo down in the bayou
Taxidermy ape hand / ritual drummer
Crocodile / Alligator
Pissed off Honey Badger

Sugar / Cotton Fields of slave labour
Rocks tied to legs then pushed into the river
Weeping Willow branches home to shadow beings
Haiti was home but now it's too far
swamp gas black majick / there is no cure for maleria
 
morpheuspapaverus said:
Nigga whaaaat???!??!??

Are you sure you don't want me to write your lyrics? i'll take 25% of the royalties, 35% of publishing and an advance in cash
Click to expand...

I know I'm not the best ever & I can never do anything like, the song is Schnauzer - Facts of Life.
This song just about wraps up my view on people & life.

Here's a few things I thought you should know
If you haven't figured it out already

There's no fuckin Santa Claus
And everybody dies
The girl will never like you
No matter how hard you try

The world is full of fuckin assholes
Who only care about themselves
Stupid fuckin pricks who think that they're
Better than everyone else

The school does not discriminate
And there's no cure for crime
Bad things happen to decent people
All the motherfucking time

During this wretched lifetime
I can personally guarantee
That you are going to be...

Lied to
Stolen from
Shit on
Left out
Fucked with
Blown off
Pushed down

In no particular order

There's no spare time
No extra money
No true love
No easter bunny

The Cleveland Browns fuckin suck
A sorry excuse for a football team

Spicy food gives you the shits
Montezuma's revenge

I like a girl with big tits
More than a mouthful...such a fuckin waste

Alternatives don't exist
Your best will never be good enough

Take a razor to your wrists.
 
I personally think this part is great, just think of that being barked through a mic at max volume as other smelly Sludge metal fans who are coming off heroin play crushing riffs with tons of feedback & fuzz. As much as I love black metal my heart is really in the Southern USA Sludge metal sound. I've wanted to make that kinda music for years, I feel it in my soul & I always have riffs running round my head on a daily basis. Think of early Black Sabbath but deep in opiate withdrawl, that is what I'm chasing after.

Eyehategod - Take As Needed For Pain album is to me perfection, the lyrics, guitar, drumming....the whole fucking thing is just what I want to make in terms of music.




ALSO I am personally quite pleased with this bit, I think I've done well with it to be honest.

Disillusion / isolation
Misanthropic nihilism
Stigmata through pure faith / bleeding virgin at the altar
Saviour of our suffering
Pain forever
 
wow, thank you. that was like a corrosion of conformity fix ! ♡

Clean My Wounds
corrosion of conformity
I see the world through bloodshot eyes
Streets filled with blood from distant lies.
The dogs of war never compromise,
No real time for rearranging.

"Help me Jesus, help me clean my wounds"
He said he cannot heal that kind.
Bleeding soul becomes a bitter mind.
He said it happens every time (Knock it down)
And that's how the story goes (Knock it down)
In the land of a thousand no's (Knock it down)
I'm all over you in time my mind is changing.
Knock it down

Black on black gives me a heart attack
And the silence makes it deadly.
Some choose to kill with simple will.
I've seen them fall fast and steady.

"Help me Jesus, help me clean my wounds"
He said he cannot heal that kind.
Bleeding soul becomes a bitter mind.
He said it happens every time (Knock it down)
And that's how the story goes (Knock it down)
In the land of a thousand no's (Knock it down)
I'm all over you in time my mind is changing.

Twist of fate won't give me a break
And myself, I'm slow and tired.
I've got to rise with these bloodshot eyes
But I keep falling when I'm higher.

"Help me Jesus, help me clean my wounds"
He said he cannot heal that kind.
Bleeding soul becomes a bitter mind.
He said it happens every time (Knock it down)
And that's how the story goes (Knock it down)
In the land of a thousand no's (Knock it down)

We are bleeding sins and our sins are always fadin'
Oh fadin', oh fadin', oh fadin'

Oh, knock it down, knock it down
Oh, knock it down, knock it down
Oh, knock it down, knock it down
Oh, knock it down ♡
 
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