I don't know where to begin, first time posting anywhere at all, I need help and reassurance from people who've been through similar things as me.
My background: 28M, 70kg, have used psilocybin, weed before. I did MDMA a total of 5 times. The first four times went well and i had no issues at all, and they were taken close together (once a week).
The 5th time, however was a different story. It came from a different batch and i took just 75mg sublingually (although i've heard it doesn't make alot of difference since it doesn't absorb well that way). The first 2 and a half hours, nothing really happened, i just felt "normal" but my eyes were big as usual.
Since it had no effect, i decided to take another 75mg sublingually 2 and a half hours later, also sublingually, although i held it under the tongue for longer. This time something did happen, but not what i'd like: my heart started racing to a very high heart rate (it didn't do that before), i felt dizzy, confused, blurry vision and felt like i was about to pass out. My girlfriend was luckily there to support me, but she got scared as well. I did survive, but i felt like shit the first few days, like everything was still a little blurry or something (hard to describe), my heart hurt and i still had a resting heart rate of 120 for one day and i felt very "awake" for a few days. I was hoping it would go away after a week or so after.
almost 2,5 months later, i still struggle with dizziness, afterimages, anxiety/panic, occassional heart pain, headaches, dissociation (i believe thats what it is, everything looks very sharp and far away). I lost my girlfriend to it, since she couldn't handle my constant anxiety and panic (she shoudn't have to). The symptoms come and go, as in, some days they are worse, some days they are better.
Now i'm looking for other people who have been through what i have, or atleast get some hope from other people, that i can recover. Right now i just seem stuck and it seems as no progress has been made to recovery (it's hard to see) and reading that most people recover within a month or so doesn't really help.
Thanks for reading
My background: 28M, 70kg, have used psilocybin, weed before. I did MDMA a total of 5 times. The first four times went well and i had no issues at all, and they were taken close together (once a week).
The 5th time, however was a different story. It came from a different batch and i took just 75mg sublingually (although i've heard it doesn't make alot of difference since it doesn't absorb well that way). The first 2 and a half hours, nothing really happened, i just felt "normal" but my eyes were big as usual.
Since it had no effect, i decided to take another 75mg sublingually 2 and a half hours later, also sublingually, although i held it under the tongue for longer. This time something did happen, but not what i'd like: my heart started racing to a very high heart rate (it didn't do that before), i felt dizzy, confused, blurry vision and felt like i was about to pass out. My girlfriend was luckily there to support me, but she got scared as well. I did survive, but i felt like shit the first few days, like everything was still a little blurry or something (hard to describe), my heart hurt and i still had a resting heart rate of 120 for one day and i felt very "awake" for a few days. I was hoping it would go away after a week or so after.
almost 2,5 months later, i still struggle with dizziness, afterimages, anxiety/panic, occassional heart pain, headaches, dissociation (i believe thats what it is, everything looks very sharp and far away). I lost my girlfriend to it, since she couldn't handle my constant anxiety and panic (she shoudn't have to). The symptoms come and go, as in, some days they are worse, some days they are better.
Now i'm looking for other people who have been through what i have, or atleast get some hope from other people, that i can recover. Right now i just seem stuck and it seems as no progress has been made to recovery (it's hard to see) and reading that most people recover within a month or so doesn't really help.
Thanks for reading
