well, i do construction and you have the choice of working or not, so luckily ive been granted the luxury of not having to to work, but still be able to easily get a job when the day comes that I can physically handle it again. HOPEFULLY SOON as i would love to finish my sleeve (tattoo) and get life rolling again.
Even though it's been 36 days, i still feel like shit throughout the day sitting around. I almost think that kicking suboxone cold turkey 2 years ago (with a job) was a lot easier than kicking methadone while sitting around 24/7 for 36 days. Granted i remember the insane depression that came with having to go to work while sick instead of sitting around home, but now that i AM sitting around home on a detox, i think the value that comes with fantasizing about a day off (while having to work) loses its worth when one (me) actually does a detox without having to work. Yeah, it's great that i can sit around 24/7 without responsibilities at 23, but at the same time it's torture that every day is almost exactly the same, with slight variations, day in day out..
I just want what i had 2 years ago, no withdrawals, fun life, and peace. Im beginning to feel like this will never end.