Broken74
Bluelighter
38 yr old
Not sure on weight, he's list so much through the abuse the past few months and even more since the wd....totally wild guess 160-180, he's tall and was at like 220ish b4 using in July.
He was the one who initially wanted to stop. He started withdrawing in his own and cut down to a veRy light taper method, on his own. It was way to huge of a cut imo. This was just him and i dealing with it. But, he couldn't do it once he was in wd for 2 days, he went and scored minimal amount the following day. So then the following morning, he was sick again and broke down telling his mother.
When asked why he finally confided in her he said "because I knew if I walked out that door, I want going to make it" so I hear what you're saying but just from what I know of him...he truly wants out of it.
He's tallying about $8000 spent in a month to month and a half and said what's the point of working, just so I can but more drugs. He's definitely been thinking it through. You have to understand that while I've been by his side, I've also always loved him and been there, but never let him think I believed him when he denied things that were clearly blatant signs he was using. It's been a daily (& I say that literally) conversation, just always ending in his denial. So he knew that everyone knew. It's not just using, it was abusing to the obvious point of anyone who encountered him.
He doesn't know I'm on bluelight, he knows I'm an avid reader and that Google was my closest friend when it comes to things I don't know about. I just like to learn, by nature. And love reading. I share things with him from here, he doesn't ask where I got it from, I've tried to get him to check it out and I *believe* he's started his own research online, but he is so private and naturally shy he just keeps everything inside. The reason I believe he's been looking into it, some words and phrases he's used about getting clean are things I find straight online, it's not street talk, ya know? And he had already looked into warm turkey methods, deathly afraid of what he's dealing with now.
Progress!!!!- last night he didn't toss/thrash much at all. He took 2 long baths, slept some (probably doesn't feel that way to him, but I was there..he did). Won't eat... but he's taking ensure and hot tea. Loves the warmth of thints right now. I think he's on the other side of this mountain. I don't have enough perc supply to get him through this even at 50mg/day I can only supply him with 4 days worth. No re ups until the 7th. (That's due to him getting into my supply and taking about 30 of them at one point...) I truly hope we never have to bake this again, being familiar with the addiction I also know it's lifelong and he will get cravings.
CD I wish I could give you amounts, if I had any to go by i would. You are entirely right, there could be something else. In September I broke up with him for 2weeks bcuz I thought he was doing "something" ....we had a pre planned Vaca in Chincoteague compete with plane tickets, hotel room, rental car etc....during this vacation he told me he had been main lining heroin every 5-6 hrs daily for the past 2weeks. He had suboxone with him (I guess he planned to quit prior and prepared) so we went through slight partial wd one day, then started on suboxone. Things seemed good, but when we returned to Florida I know that he didn't stick it out, my best guess is he went back to roxy/oxy then cut his arm with chainsaw and needed something powerful since he had built a tolerance. I would say that he's being honest about fentanyl since it's like super powerful, and he probably used any opiate filter in between if he couldn't get that.
Sry for the long winded post, just trying to give some background and not miss replying to anything mentioned.
Not sure on weight, he's list so much through the abuse the past few months and even more since the wd....totally wild guess 160-180, he's tall and was at like 220ish b4 using in July.
He was the one who initially wanted to stop. He started withdrawing in his own and cut down to a veRy light taper method, on his own. It was way to huge of a cut imo. This was just him and i dealing with it. But, he couldn't do it once he was in wd for 2 days, he went and scored minimal amount the following day. So then the following morning, he was sick again and broke down telling his mother.
When asked why he finally confided in her he said "because I knew if I walked out that door, I want going to make it" so I hear what you're saying but just from what I know of him...he truly wants out of it.
He's tallying about $8000 spent in a month to month and a half and said what's the point of working, just so I can but more drugs. He's definitely been thinking it through. You have to understand that while I've been by his side, I've also always loved him and been there, but never let him think I believed him when he denied things that were clearly blatant signs he was using. It's been a daily (& I say that literally) conversation, just always ending in his denial. So he knew that everyone knew. It's not just using, it was abusing to the obvious point of anyone who encountered him.
He doesn't know I'm on bluelight, he knows I'm an avid reader and that Google was my closest friend when it comes to things I don't know about. I just like to learn, by nature. And love reading. I share things with him from here, he doesn't ask where I got it from, I've tried to get him to check it out and I *believe* he's started his own research online, but he is so private and naturally shy he just keeps everything inside. The reason I believe he's been looking into it, some words and phrases he's used about getting clean are things I find straight online, it's not street talk, ya know? And he had already looked into warm turkey methods, deathly afraid of what he's dealing with now.
Progress!!!!- last night he didn't toss/thrash much at all. He took 2 long baths, slept some (probably doesn't feel that way to him, but I was there..he did). Won't eat... but he's taking ensure and hot tea. Loves the warmth of thints right now. I think he's on the other side of this mountain. I don't have enough perc supply to get him through this even at 50mg/day I can only supply him with 4 days worth. No re ups until the 7th. (That's due to him getting into my supply and taking about 30 of them at one point...) I truly hope we never have to bake this again, being familiar with the addiction I also know it's lifelong and he will get cravings.
CD I wish I could give you amounts, if I had any to go by i would. You are entirely right, there could be something else. In September I broke up with him for 2weeks bcuz I thought he was doing "something" ....we had a pre planned Vaca in Chincoteague compete with plane tickets, hotel room, rental car etc....during this vacation he told me he had been main lining heroin every 5-6 hrs daily for the past 2weeks. He had suboxone with him (I guess he planned to quit prior and prepared) so we went through slight partial wd one day, then started on suboxone. Things seemed good, but when we returned to Florida I know that he didn't stick it out, my best guess is he went back to roxy/oxy then cut his arm with chainsaw and needed something powerful since he had built a tolerance. I would say that he's being honest about fentanyl since it's like super powerful, and he probably used any opiate filter in between if he couldn't get that.
Sry for the long winded post, just trying to give some background and not miss replying to anything mentioned.
