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Recovery 16 years oxy user working up plan to get off for good please help have questions

P0kemama said:
Hi TLD, Cduggles, and Broken: So... thank you all for your posts to me... appreciate the support so very much. Cravings are hitting today... always something. But, I am hanging in there.... cold here.... BRRRR.
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Pok hang in there brother you are so close now! and i live in nj and its been in the 50s but i bought a electric blanket and lived on for first four days. keep us posted bro
 
Hello John... Just an FYI...I am sure you know this... I am a "mama", not a bro... you are welcome to call me sis, or sista, I am an Italian mother/grandma...so choose any part of that to call me....:) OMG...I was so down/tired/depressed before I came here to this thread today... the insomnia set in... I HATE IT. Then, I read about you all here... and we are in the same boat...for sure. I slept from 10pmish-midnight, up for an hour slept from 1-2am and that was it. I do have some prescribed ativan, but that prescription was discontinued due to the warnings around opioids and benzos, so do not have an unlimited supply. I took .5mg ativan and that is how I got the sleep I did. From my past experience, this w/d symptom of insomnia lasts months for me. I sure hope I can make it through...I will be starting day 8 in about 5 or so hours. I am grumpier without the sleep...oh, and the anxiety is starting to rear its ugly head as well.
Kim, these are all normal responses to our bodies due to being on opiates for so long. Just something to think about: If John chooses to go to meetings, you might want to check out the Al-anon side of things. Or Nar-Anon, etc... the meetings for those who love the addict/alcoholic. You will definitely identify with the people in those particular meetings.
TLD: So sorry to hear you are having the bathroom issues and they are interfering with work. Good for you to call in and take care of yourself. Just taking the 1 oxycodone a day has prevented that issue, so far. I do have my old granny type heating pad... it is saving my life now. Jersey has that humidity that I remember making the cold colder and the summer heat more sticky so hope your temps do not get into the freeze zone anytime soon!
 
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LD (John, lol, nice to meet you) why would they never consider innocuous ad? I would think that's a go to med?

My john always liked working out and was quite fit, hoping to get him back into that at some point, but not wanting to rush things. I've also thought we can go shore fishing since he lives 5 minutes from the causeway and has tons of poles. I'm coming up with ideas?
 
P0ke
Funny you say that, CD and I have been private messaging and she suggested the same! I've definitely been doing my own self evaluating about why I gravitate to addicts... I thinks it's because it's what is familiar and I pick up on it, not realizing that's what I'm bonding with ppl about...like a subconscious thing.
 
Broke: I have attended some of the alanon type meetings and they were extremely helpful. I had some great insights and it helped with all types of relationships... not only those with addicts and self identity. Tomorrow morning, if I can drag myself out of the house, I may try my first SMART meeting. If I make it, I will posts here about how it went/my thoughts and reactions.
 
Poke -

you are doing so great! Please do let us know how the SMART meetings are in your area. Btw, have you ever heard of/thought about Refuge Recovery meetings? I so wish there were some non 12 step meetings here.

8 days is so awesome. It's amazing what we can do when we finally get there. Best of luck, Poke!

LD -

Still kicking ass, keep it up!

- VE
 
P0kemama- Great minds think alike, right? :D

tld: which supplements did you use for energy? Please name brand or just message me.

All: Okay I'm going swimming. It's going to be nuts but I am inspired by you. Wish me a good one!
 
Just realized my last post made no sense, I asked about I'm immodium ad and why they would never consider it, but my auto correct typed innocuous instead.
 
P0ke and tld- I DID IT! I swam and I literally cannot lift my arms because I overdid it but I went and did laps and it felt so good.
it's a saltwater pool so it's always cold. Then I hit the scalding shower and sauna. I was so happy!!
Thank you both for your support!!
 
Good morning all

CD what day are you officially at?
Swimming sounds very therapeutic, don't over do it!
I decided to count Johns day 1 as Tuesday, since that's when he stated cold turkey. The only was he gets rest is with the diazepim and .25 alprazolam... but it is working. Still sneezing and body aches, but he says he feels 50% better. Nights and mornings are the worst.

John is having urges to sit in the sun, says his senses are in over load and he sees every little leaf on the trees, and his sense of smell is super strong. I take that as signs his body is coming back to life.
 
cduggles said:
P0ke and tld- I DID IT! I swam and I literally cannot lift my arms because I overdid it but I went and did laps and it felt so good.
it's a saltwater pool so it's always cold. Then I hit the scalding shower and sauna. I was so happy!!
Thank you both for your support!!
Click to expand...

Great job, Cduggles... I think you sound like you may have mermaid blood in you....lol!! To add to exercise 'NEWS" yesterday I took my 4pm dosage of oxy, and then had a regular Coca Cola and Wend'ys jr. bacon cheeseburger.... first caffeine boost in a while... walked outside bundled in scarves, coats, gloves, etc for 20 minutes! Endorphins did kick in nicely, and sleep was sound, although aided by prescribed meds. Saltwater pool sounds so oceany!!
 
cduggles said:
P0kemama- Great minds think alike, right? :D

tld: which supplements did you use for energy? Please name brand or just message me.

All: Okay I'm going swimming. It's going to be nuts but I am inspired by you. Wish me a good one!
Click to expand...

Yes, great minds certainly do in this case. :) Speaking of thinking alike: Now that I have a week at just the 1 pill... I am going to stop counting days....it does not really make much sense as i WILL BE stabilizing here for the time being.
 
As I mentioned someplace else, I totally forgot early recovery is "one day at a time." Definitely did not make it to the Smart meeting... family phone calls and fatigue were barriers at this time. Also, parking this holiday Saturday at meeting site is a huge issue... may wait until the doldrums of January.... will be parking galore with shopping done in this particular area of town.
I am not interested in Refuge Recovery at this point: with over 17 years of Eastern/Buddhist/Asian studies, formally and informally, SMART is calling.
 
Broken74 said:
Good morning all
CD what day are you officially at?
Swimming sounds very therapeutic, don't over do it!
I decided to count Johns day 1 as Tuesday, since that's when he stated cold turkey. The only was he gets rest is with the diazepim and .25 alprazolam... but it is working. Still sneezing and body aches, but he says he feels 50% better. Nights and mornings are the worst.

John is having urges to sit in the sun, says his senses are in over load and he sees every little leaf on the trees, and his sense of smell is super strong. I take that as signs his body is coming back to life.
Click to expand...

Hiya!
Overdoing is better than not doing! I'm happy and the pain was worth it. That and the muscle relaxer that works for me!
I stopped counting days (not my thing), but I looked it up, just for you ;) and I'm three weeks off. No cravings. I still have oxy in case it was unbearable. Not interested.

Irregular sleep is part of the gig. Tld still has it. I'm good that way now but it was awful.
It's unfortunate he doesn't have gabapentin or clonidine because those help with body aches and other withdrawal symptoms like blood pressure spikes and sleep. But maybe he will remember this as something he never wants to do again. (I say this knowing I never want to do it again and I practically had a pharmacy!!)
I sneezed too. it's common with opiate withdrawal. Why? I haven't read anything I believe.
Is he still in love with bath/shower? That's the only thing I miss about withdrawal. So happy you got him in.
Tld had the same reawakening of senses. For me my mind is clearing and I can't say much else. Oh well, I did an 80mg jump so I can't complain!!
He's at the tail end. Insomnia is one of the last things to go. It might be awhile.
Best to you both!
 
P0ke,
Although I looked it up for our dear Broken, I am so happy I quit counting days. it's just not me. It's a personal choice (and Broken I definitely recommend you keep count for him) but after about 10 I was like why am I doing this?
Very cool on the Asian studies. Mine came from having a Japanese parent (as in born and bred- I'm half pure as they say). After you've recovered from my last message I will tell you a funny story about it. I'd post but it's inside baseball!
❤️️❤️️ One day at a time!
 
p.s. P0ke, great news on the exercise front. It's definitely helpful even though it took me three weeks to get there! Mutual inspiration. I'm sensing a link of our great minds :D
And although I quit counting days it's definitely one day at a time!! That I keep close.
I love that you said I might have mermaid blood. Once I was in, I was off like a shot.
Flip flop, CD
 
John still enjoys the baths, just drew one for him and that's where he is now. We are taking a short trip to my house for a change in scenery. My gym has an outdoor pool and outdoor jacuzzi, he wanted to stop by and soak in the jacuzzi. I made a call to verify its open (always is) & as luck would have it, both are closed for cleaning today. Maybe tomorrow if he decides to stay the night...I do need to run into the house b4 him, and hide my perc supply...left them right on top of the dresser in plain sight. (Remove unnecessary temptations, since he's cold turkey for only 4 1/2 days and still openly 'wishes' for a few percs). I'm glad he states the wishes aloud, gives me a secure feeling knowing he isn't trying to hide the craves. I must admit, some of these truths he has been revealing are hurtful, I imagine he feels a sense of relief, so as long as he doesn't reveal an infidelity truth, I suck it up.
 
Definitely hide the meds.
I'm glad he's confiding in you but sorry it's hurtful.
Withdrawal sucks and unfortunately it's likely he will lash out at you as well (when not using the remote as a projectile).
I have to say this.., he needs to be careful getting out of the Jacuzzi. In normally healthy people it can lower bp and cause people to faceplant. Even though we've been discussing high bp, he's not strong and unless you can literally support all his weight make sure he doesn't stay in too long, as in 20 mins at a time (he can get back in!) and that he gets up and out slowly. Please!
Have a good time! CD
 
P0kemama said:
Hello John... Just an FYI...I am sure you know this... I am a "mama", not a bro... you are welcome to call me sis, or sista, I am an Italian mother/grandma...so choose any part of that to call me....:) OMG...I was so down/tired/depressed before I came here to this thread today... the insomnia set in... I HATE IT. Then, I read about you all here... and we are in the same boat...for sure. I slept from 10pmish-midnight, up for an hour slept from 1-2am and that was it. I do have some prescribed ativan, but that prescription was discontinued due to the warnings around opioids and benzos, so do not have an unlimited supply. I took .5mg ativan and that is how I got the sleep I did. From my past experience, this w/d symptom of insomnia lasts months for me. I sure hope I can make it through...I will be starting day 8 in about 5 or so hours. I am grumpier without the sleep...oh, and the anxiety is starting to rear its ugly head as well.
Kim, these are all normal responses to our bodies due to being on opiates for so long. Just something to think about: If John chooses to go to meetings, you might want to check out the Al-anon side of things. Or Nar-Anon, etc... the meetings for those who love the addict/alcoholic. You will definitely identify with the people in those particular meetings.
TLD: So sorry to hear you are having the bathroom issues and they are interfering with work. Good for you to call in and take care of yourself. Just taking the 1 oxycodone a day has prevented that issue, so far. I do have my old granny type heating pad... it is saving my life now. Jersey has that humidity that I remember making the cold colder and the summer heat more sticky so hope your temps do not get into the freeze zone anytime soon!
Click to expand...

I am so sorry poke i never checked your profile im a idiot, and also italian and should be a grandpa by now but my 26 year old daughter is still only dating with her longtime boyfriend. And if you are down to only one oxycodone hopefully short acting 15mgs or even 30mgs you might be giving yourself extra torture because with your supporting meds you should have this at that low dose. But its no lie the longer you can stand tapering the easier the end is, was easier than most of my weens. And i was on oxy everyday for the last 18 years and a couple years before that not everyday. I understand the need more meetings for some people but believe it or not i dont have a addictive personality ive been able to control anything else ive done i quit smoking cigarettes 19 years ago first try. I think i was just too scared and believed i could not live without ops oh i was oh so wrong and the gift i was given and earned i will never go back on NEVER! i actually have grown now to hate ops. Mainly because i see what its doing to our youth mainly 18 to 25 year olds actually breaks my heart!. so many kids dying in my state hell everywhere, i actually heard them discussing on a talk radio station i listen to on my way to work that maybe they should stop the cops from using narcan in my state because sometimes they save the same person more than once a day OMG i flipped oh so let somebody die wtf i dont listen to that station nomore only music now.
Sista im praying for you keep ua posted!
 
cduggles said:
Definitely hide the meds.
I'm glad he's confiding in you but sorry it's hurtful.
Withdrawal sucks and unfortunately it's likely he will lash out at you as well (when not using the remote as a projectile).
I have to say this.., he needs to be careful getting out of the Jacuzzi. In normally healthy people it can lower bp and cause people to faceplant. Even though we've been discussing high bp, he's not strong and unless you can literally support all his weight make sure he doesn't stay in too long, as in 20 mins at a time (he can get back in!) and that he gets up and out slowly. Please!
Have a good time! CD
Click to expand...


Im with CD hide em and hide em good real good no need for temptation i actually just got rid of everything i had in my house yesterday not so much temptation it was there all along i never considered tho mainly out of hate for ops now. Im glad you did a swim CD i actually can feel myself advancing everytime i workout its really the only way to get yourself back faster.


Kim that is great news hes turning the corner out of the hell acute stage it only gets better slowly tho, now i find myself taking a couple immodiums everyday which now i actually dont mind cause i still go even too much mainly loose that stage will come for john to unless it already has. Today i ate almost normally and my stomach not constantly talking to me so i hope its slowing down. BTW i have a 18ft aluminum bassboat and love to fish also ive fished my whole life saltwater and freshwater. Near the end of my taper i actually took my son striped bass fishing in Raritan bay nj and we did great caught lots of big stripers we released them all as i mainly fish catch and release, i was so happy my son was able to do so much wash the boat after etc because i coudnt was a great day. Best of luck to you and john btw i stopped taking lyrica as of two days ago dont need it
 
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