ok well got up this morning at 8:20am, didn't sleep wortha shit last night because i'm still stuck to my "go to bed 3am" schedule, so it sucked.
the guy that did the seminar is a really cool guy. i've known him since 2007, and he got me here in this recovery place where i'm at today.
yesterday he talked about the brain, and how drugs effected the pleasure pathway, i dont have my notes, but he talked about the fancy named parts of the brain and how drugs effected them.
today he talked about step 4, (yesterday he talked about 1-3). I knew step 4 was listing people u hate, people uve slept with, and shit that scares you. which is in a nutshell sorta what it's like. what really stood out to me was the whole "fear" part of the 4th step invintory(sp)?, which i live in fear everyday. shit theres hundreds of things that i'm afraid of.
one thing is that i'm curently going through is, i'm afraid of jail, and prison. and monday i've having to turn myself in to b'ham jail. over a FTA. it sucks but before i can advance in my recovery i have to work through that, and since its my biggest fear atm, i gotta do it before i can work on any of the other shit.
a lot of people here care for me so that's pretty cool. i was worried about how i'm going to be able to pay for my space here at the halfway house, and if my spot will be here, they said not to worry about it becaause "people here care". which besides hearing it from bluelight, i didn't think anyone cared for me. yeah well my parents care, but it's a little diffrent.
called my sponsor a lil ago, and he's having a rough time dealing with a break-up. it was nice to talk friend to friend over whats going on in his life, and its cool that he opend up to me about it. because that means someone trusts me, which in the past no one has ever fucking trusted me, becasue i'm a lier, a cheat and a con. who wants to trust that?
YESSSS my foodstamp card came in, now i gotta activate it, and go shopppppppppppppppppin!
fuck im hungry lol.
well more will be revealed.
drew
the guy that did the seminar is a really cool guy. i've known him since 2007, and he got me here in this recovery place where i'm at today.
yesterday he talked about the brain, and how drugs effected the pleasure pathway, i dont have my notes, but he talked about the fancy named parts of the brain and how drugs effected them.
today he talked about step 4, (yesterday he talked about 1-3). I knew step 4 was listing people u hate, people uve slept with, and shit that scares you. which is in a nutshell sorta what it's like. what really stood out to me was the whole "fear" part of the 4th step invintory(sp)?, which i live in fear everyday. shit theres hundreds of things that i'm afraid of.
one thing is that i'm curently going through is, i'm afraid of jail, and prison. and monday i've having to turn myself in to b'ham jail. over a FTA. it sucks but before i can advance in my recovery i have to work through that, and since its my biggest fear atm, i gotta do it before i can work on any of the other shit.
a lot of people here care for me so that's pretty cool. i was worried about how i'm going to be able to pay for my space here at the halfway house, and if my spot will be here, they said not to worry about it becaause "people here care". which besides hearing it from bluelight, i didn't think anyone cared for me. yeah well my parents care, but it's a little diffrent.
called my sponsor a lil ago, and he's having a rough time dealing with a break-up. it was nice to talk friend to friend over whats going on in his life, and its cool that he opend up to me about it. because that means someone trusts me, which in the past no one has ever fucking trusted me, becasue i'm a lier, a cheat and a con. who wants to trust that?
YESSSS my foodstamp card came in, now i gotta activate it, and go shopppppppppppppppppin!
fuck im hungry lol.
well more will be revealed.
drew