[08] Manic Depression in Pill Form: Warning against excessive use of MDMA - Anonymous

Does any of you who have bi-polar also have ADHD ??? B/c i know i do and i stopped taking my adderall when i used to roll, and then when i quit doing x and starting taking my medication again.... it was a downward spiral. That was when they dianoised me as bi-polar, now we have minimized it slight bi-polar and generalized anxiety w/ ADHD. I also know now that pyschological disorders also can come in a series of 3. Usually one disorder tends to stand out more than the other 2 but they are still there. I have now become a pyschology major::: specializing in substance abuse. I have been working on the physical and pyscological effects short/long term, but I am in a slump.... and this is where I need help from my fellow bluelighters.
** I need to know if any of you ( NO NAMES !! ) have any disorders
** What medication they have you on
** What was your drug of choice??? How long you do it ?
** Do you recognize any long term physical or pyschological effects?
** Did you have any short term effects ??
**** I personally believe that there is a common factor linking these thing to the most common disorders : depression, bi-polar, anxiety. However, I need more information. Please help me out.... you can send your response to [email protected]. Thank you everyone in advance !!!
 
who mE? said:
My friend has a theory about MDMA... he thinks it makes him smarter because "it kills off the weak braincells so that the strong ones can survive!"... Its "Mental Darwinism" [laugh]
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AWESOME quote!!!

:D
 
it's interesting to hear people's different theories on depression and MDMA.

what i know is from my own personal experience.

i was a teenager who never used drugs, except occational weed and alcohol. there was a time when i could say that i'd never been depressed. then i turned 14 and found out that i was moving 150 miles away and i started getting moody and shitty with my mom.

flashforward to high school. i still wasn't doing drugs, but i found myself early upset and would cry a lot and have fits of irrational anger. i began to wonder if i was experiencing some sort of diagnosable depression or if i was just an angsty teen. i would say the latter.

time for college and i started doing drugs, like a lot. for a period of 3 months, could have been more, could have been less, i really don't remember, but i think it was about 3 months, i was eating pills thursday and saturday almost every week religously.

this usage dropped down to about once a week to bi weekly, but in all this time, i bever experienced "suicide tuesday," or anything like that.

it didn't really happen until i was using once a month or less when i noticed a change in myself. i'd been eating pills about 3 years and then last year when i went through some really emotional/stressful times that i thought maybe i was slightly depressed.

i couldn't handle emotional situation. i felt emotionally weak when something difficult to deal with came my way.

i went to my doctor and told her about crying a lot and being really sad and sleeping all day and she proscribed me lexapro just like that.

it didn't work. i didn't feel any better, i realized that i just had to work it out on my own.

what i did find that made me feel better that i know most people don't do. i started taking care of myself. i started taking vitamens, eating right, and exercising. that was the best anti-depressant i ever had.

did MDMA make me depressed or was is my lifestyle. in my experience, i say, lifestyle.

before getting yourself hooked on SSRIs, try doing something good for you body, soul, and mind.
 
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I used to take far too much MDMA. Maybe not by many british pillhead's standards, but certainly by most american users and certainly by my own.

There was a period where i was taking pills (2) every weekend for about 2 months. Since then i have slowed down and it is more like once every couple of months to twice a month depending.

I've never experienced anything i could describe as clinical depression. I also take a lot of 5htp. I have no real way of knowing if i've just been luck, or if the 5htp is what is keeping me sane, because i'm not willing to stop taking the 5htp to find out.
 
*Taken from a post that I made elsewhere*

There is no evidence to link MDMA and depression/anxiety (or panic attacks, for that matter). For example, by population ratios, it appears that the number of depression/anxiety/panic attack afflicted MDMA users is more or less equal to the percentage of persons likewise afflicted who do not use MDMA (i.e., the non-recreational drug population).

What complicates matters is that many people who have a pre-existing disorder often attempt (unconsciously) to self-medicate. This is the case with many types of drug abuse (alcohol, amphetamine, MDMA, opiates, etc.). A person suffering from any one of these symptoms would be especially attracted to MDMA due to the emotional feelings that it produces.

Given the rather large population of MDMA users worldwide, if MDMA were inducing these symptoms we would be seeing a large number of incidents of these disorders in this population. The fact is, that we don't. And the percentage of MDMA users suffering from these symptoms tends to be equal to the number of suffers in the non-drug user population.


I am NOT stating that MDMA is absolutely safe. What I am saying, is that the TRUTH regarding MDMA, and possible adverse health effects, can only be established through honest scientific study (in other words, actually "know" what the issues are, as opposed to creating myths which "seem" right).

Up until recently, almost all "scientific" MDMA research has been done using government funding, funding from agencies which benefit from negative test results. And the research methods used were basically designed to guarantee toxicity (by using massive overdoses as the base dose standard in the test subjects).

More recent studies, using recreational dosages on the test subjects, have found little or no neurotoxic effects from MDMA. There is much more study needed using ethical research methods, but we are currently far from being able to conclude that MDMA is neurotoxic (except in very large, "non-recreational" doses).


BTW, taking a mouthful of pills in one night is not a recreational dose.
 
*Also taken from a recent post that I made*

Regarding the he-man "people can get through being depressed without SSRIs":

It is not possible for someone who never experienced clinical depression to understand it. There is a lot more involved then being sad and blue (and there is a HUGE difference between the notion of "being depressed" and suffering from a clinical depression). Someone going through clinical depression can't "just" snap out of it.


To illustrate, imagine going to an arm wrestling match. Now imagine that you are missing the arm! No amount of exercise will change anything, there's no arm to wrestle with! (It is actually that bad for clinically depressed patients.)


SSRIs do not cover symptoms. They can effect biochemical changes which benefit the patient (resulting in the patient eventually going off of the medication). From the cognitive standpoint, they provide the framework for the patient to develop healthier thinking/feeling habits (which results in subtle neuro rewiring). Once this process has gone on for a time, patients can generally drop the meds and have the benefit of the rewiring (and the healthier thinking/feeling habits).

We are all constantly rewiring ourselves. Clinical depression itself is, in fact, a result of counter productive wiring (either the result of traumatic life experiences, or developing counter productive cognitive habits, or a genetic disposition toward it).


The feelings many have towards antidepressants is valid for older generations of antidepressants. SSRIs do not fit into that old classification. The older class of antidepressants simply muted one's perceptions. SSRIs [ideally] promote healing (big difference).


EDIT: I just wanted to clarify that I am not simply throwing the word "rewire" around out of convenience. Our brains are not static. They constantly create new interneural connections, and change the "habit" in the relationship of these interconnections. Sometimes, counter productive interconnections (at a massive level) can result in the brain actually damaging itself. PET scans have shown that chronically depressed patients actually loose brain mass (cell death) in the hippocampus. This was illustrated several years ago in JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association).

The longer that this goes on, the greater the amount of damage. And this can result in rendering the patient in such a state where their depression is untreatable (due to the neurological damage resulting from the depression itself). And it becomes an on going spiral downward for the patient.

This isn't a "moral" issue. It is a medical one (and a potentially serious condition at that).

:|
 
^
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What'll be next, a source that says this drug is only recommended each time Haley's Comet passes??!!
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hahaha thats truly classic
 
Leprechaun said:
I think that anyone who believes in a Constant state of bliss/happiness/euphoria is deluding themselves. All things change, as much as we wish them not to.
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Just because you don't understand it, don't claim that it doesn't exist. Monks, "saints", holy people, all sorts of people in this world have experienced these states of extreme peace and bliss. Things are constantly changing around you, but there is no such thing as a bad occurance; its just how we often react to occurances that can be bad. Therefore its entirely possible to live in a changing world while still at complete peace.

As far as the use of pharmaceuticals go, I believe that they are an important tool, but should be used as one of the later steps in the cure. If meditation, counseling, discussion, cannot lead to a removal from depression, then anti-depressants should be used.

As for the therapeutic use of MDMA, I'm split. At once I can see that perhaps being able to see a blissful state like the one on MDMA might lift some people out of depression, I can also see how a comedown from a roll might leave people more depressed than before.

To counter your original post: "I believe that anyone who cannot accept that a true state of peace CAN exist is jaded and deluded by this constantly changing existence we live in."
 
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I heard a statistic that 80% of mental disorders are all in your head. ;)

huntmich - I too have experienced an understanding of peace. However, it is not bliss for even the experience of nirvana is a conditioned experienced, brought about by the nature of human language and expression.

I think eternal bliss is against the idea of change. Being at peace is different to perpetual bliss. Don't you agree?
 
I'd say its really got a lot to do with who you are. if everyone was exactly the same and reacted a certain way every time then we wouldnt be the wonderful individuals that we are. unfortunately I guess that some of us get the short end of the stick as far as personality traits, drugs and side effects interact.
Whats mangeable for some isn't even remotely possible for others. Do what works for YOU not what worked for someone else halfway across the globe... If that means using chemicals so be it, if will power alone is enough even better.

my 2 cents
 
Red Koi, i totally agree with you. We are all different, no statistic or research study can give us our own answers to these questions/issues. Ecstasy should be enjoyed, and while it is logical to use it occasionaly in the first place, some people can just keep going and going without screwing themselves up. Well i say lucky them.
 
I think i may be one of the lucky ones. In 2 years of heavy xtc use, more recently everyweekend and i have never had depression after use.

Although to tell you the truth I couldnt remember the last time I became depressed anyway. Things dont seem to get me down.
 
ia have suffered from depression for a few years or so. i am 22 years old. when i look back to my childhood memories, i can see signs of weakness/ depression also. i have never been diagnosed, but if i had to guess, i would say i am manic depessive. i began noticing the rollercoaster effect more recently, like the last couple of years. before that it was just constant depression, as i try to remember it. i have been using mdma/ ecstacy for abou 3-4 years, with sound control and with out much control at times. while i am abusing this drug, my rollercoaster effect is much more predominant, and even worse, i spend more time in the dumps than not. when i abstain for 2-5 months or so, i am much more stable. even when i am not using ecstacy, the ups and downs are still there. but i have come to recognize the exact point where my upside turns into downside. i have also realized that there is usually something specific that happens that will upset my mania, like a tough situation will be thrown my way and i completely fail to handle it maturely/ properly. that turns into self pity, negative thinking, wanting to escape. i realized that it is my fault for letting it get to me, because i have control of my thoughts, actions, and what comes out my mouth, i can only blame myself. instead of dwelling on it, i recognize what went wrong, i keep my head up, and move on. if i need to appologise to someone to get over it than i will do so. lately i have tried to keep my ego to a minimum, and not let things come out my mouth that will bring me down, which has helped greatly. now sinse i am working on my depression issues, i must be careful to not let drugs interupt my progress. which means i need to use them responsibly, i try extra hard not to depend on them as an escape from a down spell. i spread out my drug use as far as possible, whatever it may be. i used to to smoke pot everyday, and everyday i was constantly depressed except that few minutes or so after getting high. the pot had control over me. now i use it a couple times a week at most, and try wait for the right time. i have been able to use ecstacy also but it does take a lot out of me. moderation really is the only responsible way to use drugs. now if you smoke pot everyday and that works for you than thats cool with me, but when it comes to harder/ chemical drugs moderation is crucial. the only thing that i still depend on are cigarettes, additive free i might add. i am also a big fan of orange juice and multivitamins to start the day, healthier eating habits, and excersise. i still eat mc doanalds form time to time. going to the gym and yoga classes are great ways to feel good, but it can be hard to go. once you do though, youll be back. oh ya and procrastination also can contribute to depression, take care of your shit before you do your drugs. i personally have chosen to not take medication, although i have a bit more to deal with psychologically than many people, in the end i will have learned a lot about myself and my innerworkings, and how to help others work through theirs. i also heard a couple different times that for every negative thought, you need 7 positive thoughts to even it out. negativity is a downward spiral, so try to think positive thoughts, it doesnt happen over night but keep that in mind, and with time it will help much. think before you speak. catch that negative thought before it comes out of your mouth and throw it away. dont play into other peoples negativity. see negative thinking isnt as bad as speaking negativity, but in order to be most safe from speaking negatively, one must go to the root and change ones thinking. self control. peace
 
in my experiences, having too much to drink greatly effects the control i have over my thoughts, actions, and what comes out my mouth and can have dramatic consequences. please consider this. ecstacy is another one that can be tricky, so use caution.
 
Im manic depresive borderline bipolar with a personality disorder. I was put on depakote, zoloft, and remron at age 15. Although I havent been on those meds in about 3 years (which i probably should not have stopped taking) xtc has not made my depression any worse than it already was. When i was using everyother weekend, i was never having any sad days at all. A bit strange if you ask me. However saturday nights roll did make me cry all day sunday. So I do think eventually you might actually get worse. Just in my situation, it didnt change things much.
 
MDMA is a mixed bag for me, but then again I'm a mixed bag. If I'm feeling depressed MDMA isn't not a good choice for me, because the days afterward make me want to die. If I'm feeling normal then it's okay in general, but I've only done it about 10 times as a couple times have been terrible. My new policy is only when in a good mood and make sure the pills are pure MDMA whereas before I didn't really give a fuck as I trusted my friends. I've learned that my friends are not as in-tune ot their bodies as I am. Even when they say they've checked pillreports doesn't mean I shouldn't check them myself. Different batches, bad reading comprehension by friends, lack of reading by friends. Gotta take my brain in my own two hands. Oh in my own two hands. I can change my brain, with my own two hands.

Peace,
PL
 
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