00ps! I failed my own harm reduction program!!

[need-a-life]

Hi bluelighters,
I had thought about doing a simple harm reduction program so that my RX usage will be nicely reduced
So, (you say)," How did that work for you?k
Ha! Not at all, but I'm nicely stoned.???
What I really find alarming is that I'm going through the pills quickly since I am doing . I have not slept since Thursday. I have also awoken to find various foods that belong in the fridge, in some really odd places. I need to find something to do so I won't be so bored. (Maybe classes.) The plan is to not take any more narcs tonight. And I guess wait and see how it goes. These pills are truely a gateway to
Any ideas on where to turn for help?? Any words of encouragement or verbal slaps that offer the idea, "wake up and smell the roses".
Thanks to you all. made itcliture

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Wake up and ditch the drugs. What scrips are you abusing? Why are you prescribed them? Can you live your life if you got your doctor to stop giving you scripts?

 

[need-a-life]

Hi,
I'm abusing 150 4mg dilaudid tabs a month. I use them for a pancreas that is digesting itself. My ductal system that drains digestive enzmyes in that organ is incomplete. It makes you feel pretty lousy with the pain, nausea and vomiting. I was symptom free for a couple decades. I hope that I can be symptom free again. There is no cure or preventive therapy. I had surgery years ago, etc. I keep tract of the latest therapies etc in the medical journals. There isnt' much that can be done. Hence the specialist telling my doc to "give her what she wants." (within reason)

As much as I like being stoned, I've called to make an appintment with my MD. I'm going to ask her to RX for smaller amounts and just go in more frequently if I need them. She will work with me on this.

Wish me luck. I go in two weeks. Hopefully I wont' chicken out before hand.
Living without any pain relief would be difficult. If it were just pain alone...maybe for a while, but then I'd need some relief. Unfortunately the pain comes with nasty nausea and vomiting. I take zofran (for nausea) which helps alot. I have also figured out when to take the pills before the vomiting hits. It's a horrible sight to throw up and see your pain pills go down the toilet!

I really want some control back in my life. I maybe hitting middle age but I'm still young enough to want to do something with my life, travel, have a decent relationship with the opposite sex!

Right now I'm letting the drugs control me.

Alot of you on here seem to use recreationally but have a handle on it. How do you all do that? ?? I've messed up and can't do that.
I never intended to get addicted. (famous last words!)
I used to be able to work, go out, have friends, basically have a life. Now I just wait for my next pill. And when I'm out hope and pray that my next attack comes after getting my next months RX filled.