💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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Captain.Heroin said:
I am still very suicidal and will likely end my life this year. Don't worry about me, I'm just a person.

I have been severely depressed since last year and I'm working on it.
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I am on a lot of medication for depression and it's kinda worked. I see a psych and have had to work on dealing with issues without binging on drugs. Almost lost my job because of bullshit last year, I think what a tool to allow e people to make me feel like shit to a degree I lose everything? Never again.

I do not believe you will die by end of year.



You know you need psychiatric care, meds, to learn to live life in a way that could be better than planning death. It's not a big deal man it just takes about 6 months to tell if its working.

You have come a long way in a short time, you have become more responsive to people here and you might not know how big your balls are to be here, working together, healing, it's been a bad couple years and you have survived, it's all good, nothing to getvpast anymore tbh.


You're a lot stronger than you think.
 
I don't work, I cannot support myself, I do not wish to eat. I am taking basic care of myself.

All I know is how to fuck and do drugs. It's all I'm good for.

I have totally destroyed/eliminated self-conceptions and think of others as part of myself. I totally don't care what anyone thinks about me and I don't care what I think about me.

Shit just happens and I either will or won't deal with it well.

I lost a half dozen loved ones last year, and my cat of 9 years. The grief will never leave me.

I don't want to go back on psych meds I just want to die and I don't understand why my family/friends don't understand my sincere death wish. I fear none of them "get it" and will be stuck in the mortal coil forever.

I'm quite excited to escape it forever.
 
✿Dai₷y✿ said:
You know you need psychiatric care, meds, to learn to live life in a way that could be better than planning death. It's not a big deal man it just takes about 6 months to tell if its working.
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Thank you for the eternal optimism <3

I am just mentally sick and people use me for my body which is hot

and I like that

but the brain wants to die and leave the body behind.
 
The Wizard of the Creek said:
Nope, Daisy, I’ve never been here. I am and have been on D-F for about 8 years now. Got an account here after D-F can’t pay for much needed upgrades and has been down every other day for the last few months. Being on two drug forums is what I’m hopeful for, but members on DF need a forum that is reliable and able to log onto. I can only give them what I already do every month. Plus I like it here, you can be silly and post and post. There, I do as much research as I can. Sometimes I spend a week on researching a particular thing just for one post. I usually get perfect reputation points for those posts. Both forums have their specific qualities I like. There I’m all homework and here I feel more silly. I also understand that because of the nature of forums like BL and DF lives could be at risk. I take that very seriously.
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Df is shut down? Permanently?
 
DAY ?

it is quiet on the home front. I'm looking to FUCK.

I'm torn between the urge to be sober and alone and the urge to get high and be around others.

If I have control over the TOGGLESWITCH then I can have a better life. I don't even want that.

Haha.

Do I control the switch or does the switch control me?

Is anything really in control or are things just happening wildly, sporadically and absurdly as they do?
 
Gonna come down. It hurts. I'm running out of everything and no one loves me. It hurts. SHE HURTS CPT HURTS AHHHHHHHHHH.

I might scream and do a lot of off the wall shit in my own little world.

I think this is all for the best but I have at least 24 hours to go.
 
I'm somewhat afraid that if I run out of everything I'll let the testosterone take over and turn into a fuck machine unparalleled to anything I've experienced yet and I really don't just want to fuck through a bunch of people. It's unhealthy. Allegedly.

SOSO this is my drama queen thread and mal would be mad if I started shitposting outside of the <3 ABYSS <3 because he's cleaning up the lounge making it GREAT AGAIN

or GRETA AGAIN I forget what his position on global climate change is. Probably the GRETA one.
 
The Wizard of the Creek said:
Thanks for welcoming me here @Captain.Heroin! You seem down today? I have noticed a lot of people here like you. Now I like you. This place seems fun. I’ll check out the serious threads when I post 50 times. You guess you get more privileges once you do that.
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You are very welcome. I have PTSD and it's somewhat manifesting as bipolar depression. I'm facing ZERO DRUGS IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE other than antihistamines, dxm (both of which I have acquired for free because I cannot afford drugs or food or real life) and I am going to be finally coming off pot, any psychedelics (TRIPFACE) ummm and yeah. I have nothing. I am nobody.

devilsgospel said:
Don't mind him he's our resident emo kid, it's like this 24/7
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I'M A LOT HAPPIER WITH DRUGS DG I was flying high for most of this year and then shit just kinda fell apart on me pls don't judge <3
 
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