💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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Painful One said:
YAY!!!
Loved the music!

Have fun Love’s.
I am going to eat pizza and watch my show.

❤❤❤💋💋💋
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sorry for lack of tunes I've been metaphorically bouncing around on madness' D for a while now

am kind of scared if he ever does fuck me because I'd probably walk crooked for a whole year :( but totes gonna do it that's on my bucket list before I kick the bucket

1) join PUTIN's meme lab in Russia (THE RUSSIANS CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME unless I'm fucking them HOT)
2) make a bunch of russian money and use it to fundraise for the LIBERTARIAN PARTY because SEX DRUGS GUNS ROCK'N'ROLL MAN!!!!!!!!!
3) suck madness D (maybe let him fuck me but we'll have to get a safe word established!!!!!!!!)
4) do a lot of more psychedelics so I can weave in and out of trips and live forever in my mind even if not temporally forever because that shit's an illusion

SPAGHETTI=EATEN

all my loving friends who tell me it's OK to eat NO IT'S NOT I LIKED MY MANOREXIC BODY but it looks hotter when I'm average weight :( I miss my manorexia BRB ICEKREAM mmmmmmmmmmmm

THIS TIME TOMORROW I AM GOING TO BE VERY IRRITABLE AND PRICKLY AND ANXIOUS i need to save my SOUL MEDICINE for then so at the end of the day I can unwind because tomorrow'S GONNA BITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but in a weird/awesome way I just need to embrace the waste
 
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I'm so anxious about tomorrow because... different but the same and exciting but boring. I know that made no sense. I'll wake up sober-ish tomorrow with no recollection what the fuck I meant by that.

I can't even relax if I wanted to. The only hope of me making $ today/later is if I GO TO SLEEP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and that's a literal impossibility. Like it's MIDDLE OF DAY and I HAVE THINGS TO DO tomorrow and I can't just do busy body nothing shit for that many hours and keep going hard without meth and I don't want that shit. Oh how easy it would be drop my pants and wait for some to just go up my nose or whatever. I CAN'T!!!!!!!!! I've fucked myself into a hole/corner. And I guess it's time to fuck out of it haha.

I think I'm averaging 1 hour of sex a day now and it's kind of wild. I NEED TO GO THE CLINIC cpt get your pecker checked out ffs
 
note to self IT'S OK TAKE THE DAY OFF AGAIN you're gonna need it. Just do whatever the fuck you want I guess. Isn't that cool.

Also I took two hypnotic benzos out AND DIDN'T TAKE THEM AND GOT SLEEP last night, like good sleep

I might be returning to normal slowly but surely this year

fuck if I'm going to let myself act like a horse tonight I might as well jump around like a rabbit this afternoon... what to do, where to gooooo.....

things to do, people to see, asses to fuck

oh fuck it's raining there I can't go there, FUCK

DOGGOS pray for the clouds to clear up I need a good evening
 
madness00 said:
Taking a day off is smart. Mix the sober with the drugs so you can be happy doing both.
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oh it's SO HARDddddd

like my D

and I wake up sober with a throbbing D and a desire to fuck any willing butt in sight

OH MY GOD

that's like... hot and maybe he'll text me (he meaning one of several different d fiends yeah it's hot)

SO HOT

oh god



Madness is probably right to tell me to take a day break and I'm a shit head with vision impairment and a jonah complex in spades

but to be fair i walk around naked and don't give a fuck and i like sex and drugs so that's always comforting

too bad I can't do those things in public like everywhere and not just the places you can get away w/ it

it's pretty hot

a large part of me is still tripping balls and if it didn't look so grey and wet and yuckypoos outside I'd be out there gallivanting w/ my dick out occasionally

but aghhhhhhhh I can't even. I am GOING TO DO WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO TODAY. Wish me luck. Benzos on hand if I start panicking.

Seriously I get intrusive thoughts to cut/burn myself I should probably have stayed on 1mg/0.5mg alprazolam for a while instead of pulling the carpet out from underneath my feet.

NSFW:
DrF0eRIX0AA1wnE.jpg


I've probably had enough sex and drugs today and need to chill the fuck out spider :(

I do smell like the last guy I was with so that should tell me something *GIGGLESNORTSSSSSS*

ok I want to lie down in bed and fucking forget about my feels but I'm too sexy feeling and I haven't cum in over 30 hours and starting to go crazy.

my whole body is starting to vibrate with pleasure like I'm still COMING UP this is sick/weird and if I keep twerk-instructing/dancing I'm going to run out of caloric intake energy and I'm gonna get hungry oh shit REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH

oh I haven't showered I should probably do that

because I tend to fuck and ask questions later like "when have you last showered?" or "is it time for more drugs" NO YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH TODAY just have another dab and shower the smell of manskank off your mangina I'M FLESH AND BONE BY THE TELEPHONE PICK UP THE RECEIVER I'LL MAKE YOU A BELIEVER or in mal's case a belieber. next thing I know mal is going to be telling me he fucked j. beebs but he'll have a video to back it up and I'll cry I'll be like "...I wasted all my years" lulz.

images
 
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legit could have fucked for days i was fucking the beast out of me earlier today and made him cum it was hot

"him" is an analogy for the self that is just an illusion but so is my dick

This is the hand that will blind your eyes and split your spine
This is the blade that'll visit your flesh and release the wine
You play with toys that have triggers
And you hear how the led moves near
(Play!)
You play with razors and it hurts, it hurts
As you face your fears
So face the dark and I'll teach you about fire in the blink of an eye
(Now drink the cyanide!)
The worlds collide and you know it's pure filth that I hide
On these plains there's a burning ruin that must be found
On these plains there's a demon that sleeps, It must be unbound
(Run!)
You run for the borders where epistles burn in the arms of man
(Run!)
You run among bodies and they scream, they scream to bite God's hand
So face the dark and I'll teach you about fire in the blink of an eye
(Now drink the cyanide!)
The worlds collide and you know it's pure filth that I hide
So face the dark and I'll teach you about fire in the blink of an eye
(Now drink the cyanide!)
The worlds collide and you know it's pure filth that I hide
When the dark does what the dark does best, It's darkness
Let the dark do what the dark does best, Let there be darkness
So face the dark and I'll teach you about fire in the blink of an eye
(Now drink the cyanide!)
The worlds collide and you know it's pure filth that I hide
 
I'm so manic the shower is ready and I have to force myself in

this isn't good I'm going to act out in a lot of weird ways most others can't begin to understand :\

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showered and it seemed to take forever but it was only 14 minutes. that's healthy right. No, no it's not. Get your head in the GAME

I feel like even the most deephead movies aren't deep enough for my tripbrain and I'm so sick of my own tripmind because it's so much better than everyone else and I'm just trying to get everyone up to my level and so few people are willing to take the PLUNGE

and those that are still are able to get fucked by me and cum

so ya

I kinda feel like THE HATE IN ME AWAKENINGGGGGGGGGG mostly I just hate myself I am sickness and I am death and I am the universe dying in slow motion

CRUNCH CPT CRUNCH TIME

mmmmmm

god I am gonna eat cereal I know I just ate ice kream about half an hour ago

I am still tripping balls guys I remember thinking around 12:30 wouldn't it be cool to slam and I can't stop maybe I'll end up binging maybe I'll take a break and sleep early like I did yesterday but I don't really fucking care anymore something terrible is happening to me irl and I have to avoid reality just a little longer

if anything I've learned I don't need alcohol or benzos that's fun

maybe I'll dab again and see where the MINDWHEEL is at... fuck I love escaping my body and dying

actual death is going to be so far out

LIFT UP THE RIG GOTTA FEEL BIG
i will deliver you know I'm a forgiver

I need a shirt that says "JESUS DIED FOR THESE ABS" and on the back "JAMAL DIED FOR THESE ABS" or maybe "JAMAL DIED FOR THIS ASS rip jamal"
YOU ARE A GROWER AND I AM A SHOWER
REACH OUT AND TOUCH D'S

ok I TOTALLY talked myself into tripping again FUCK TAKING A BREAK. If I run out early I can live with that.

THE UNIVERSE IS TESTING ME in all my rhythms and synchronizations I AM ERRATIC AS FUCK WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME jesus what more do you want AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH god why

they say you can't find the answers at the bottom of a bottle
but you can at the bottom of a vial with a bunch of rigs rip JAMAL
 
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DEATH PREDICTIONS
dancing on a bunch of psychedelics at the club or totally alone, head injury=brianbleeding=death
suicide in a forest because i ran out of drugs and money and my sex isn't appealing any more in like a few decades
intentional overdose because bipolar as fuck now
heart attack/stroke because cardiovascular health isn't so good since I did a bunch of uppers and shit
intentional LSD/cannabis overdose if I ever come across commie labs inc.
overdose of dicks and ass (died during sex)
i design and intentionally overdose on a drug like pcp but it lasts like 10x+ longer and you never come out of one dose the same person
GOING TO TRIP listening to music LATER DOGGOS I hope I fucking die this way I don't like sober reality YUCKYPOOS
 
GOING TO TRIP listening to music LATER DOGGOS I hope I fucking die this way I don't like sober reality YUCKYPOOS

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ME THAT I LOVE, I'VE GOT NO REFLECTION

I have too much of a reflection and love myself a bit too much though Iirc
 
imagine having an actual resume :(

I prefer using notepad btw, word can suck a fat one.

I'm gonna nod off and watch the oscars, hopefully laugh my ass off.
 
I went into a very heavy hole unexpectedly and was completely dissociated tripping hard as fuck, it seems to do me (and I seem to be able to meditate and return to it on will)

found the best lyrics to explain why I don't care if I'm alive or dead
gonna keep them to myself because i've been loving this shit for years

DopeM said:
Does that go before or after "former bluelight.ru moderator" on your resume? I've seen at least one linkedin with with "bluelight.org director of communications" on it...
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I would never put bluelight on a resume because I put my whole life on it and it's clearly painted me as an unstable drug user lol

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still in hardcore withdrawal from benzos according to "people" but I don't trust them I think I like my manic state and I'm not going to take brain poison anymore. I like when you say it's not for humans lol. :D

I really probably should take some benzos to even out by tomorrow but I know that's a fucking joke.

OH SHIT I HAVE TO DO REAL LIFE SHIT I FORGOT fuck me

going to work on NOT PANICKING

Blowmonkey said:
imagine having an actual resume :(
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IMAGINE HAVING TO DO ANYTHING IN LIFE OTHER THAN SEX FOR MONEY :(

lol

in b4 clinic visit
 
birth lottery meant I'm not a Russian citizen and can't live out my lifelong dream of being a political memer for the deepstate

I'm so emotionally devastated I don't get to be Winston I'm crying :(

why do I even try at life I hate this national socialist takeover I'm just an ancap in a commie collective :( I want to die this isn't right

LOL I get to fuck off for four hours because life sucks haha I LOVE LIFE and I hate this suckage

oh panic sucks IT REALLY SUCKS I have pills and I'm crying looking at them I gave one to a friend once and I cried knowing my tolerance was blown and I'm a junkie fuck up downer abuser

I WANT A BIG PILE OF RC BENZOS PLEASE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I JUST NEED TO BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH A FEW MONTHS PLEASE GOD WHY AHHHHHHHHH WHY DO THEY MAKE ME COME OFF THE PILLS WHOSE PHD DO I HAVE TO SUCK
 
electronic music, industrial, techno isn't doing it
maybe you have to live that shit instead of just listening to it
it is a lifestyle after all
noise is good too i love my power electronics project
LOL I couldn't tempt
OH MY GOD I GET IT

why I've been EATING SO MUCH
it's SLEEP DEPRIVATION without sleep you burn more calories because your brain is MINDWHEELING quicker

oh god

OH GOD THAT'S WHY I'M SO MANIC
 
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