Hey mate, I totally empathise with what you're saying. You shouldn't be made to feel like you can be censored on a whim without due process, and I am genuinely sorry if it felt/feels like that

BL should be inviting to all and users should expect all staff to err on the side of tolerance and caution when it comes to moderating the content of what BLers post - and should especially avoid dealing with (and getting personally involved in) anything that revolves around them personally. Ultimately staff are, first and foremost, Bluelighters just like everyone else, with no special rights or privileges beyond negotiating the enforcement of the spirit of BL's rules and mission statement in a careful, measured and (hopefully) fair way.
While I obviously can't speak for CH, and have no intention to do so, I can clearly see he's been going through something of a manic phase - maybe aggravated by drugs and/or a lack thereof - and struggling a bit with judgement because of that. I appreciate that's probably little comfort to you and doesn't detract from the points you raised or excuse bad decisions. But I hope you can also understand that when in that state of mind, even the best folks are prone to doing dumb things that they wouldn't ordinarily do. Ultimately I hope you two can patch things up, but fwiw I know CH is pretty contrite about what went down.