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Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

I have a history of trying every drug, eventually...I just love the experiences I get. I am very, very lucky to not have an addictive personality. (I have thanked my lucky stars thousands of times).

I have never injected anything. I may try it eventually but not so far.

I decided to try heroin because I wanted to know why it was so good. I smoked it. I get it. It does make you feel happy and warm and safe.

But no joke, I was bored out of my mind. A week later I did it once more to make sure that it wasn't a fluke. Same deal. Bored.

I am just a stimulant person I think. I don't know. I wish I could see the draw. I also wish I could understand what people who have gotten so addicted to this have experienced. I would appreciate it. I wouldn't go through and purposely develop a physical addiction for obvious reasons but I have so much empathy for those that I know that have gone through it. It never leaves you.

So should you try it? If you feel like you have to, then you likely will. But remember that no one starts out thinking they are going to be a junkie. I am aware of how lucky I am.
 
Its simple, its short and completely horrible to go through. Fact is that's just it, its boring and one of the hardest drugs known to man to stop using. You will wish every minute of every moment that you don't have it that you had never done it, then when you get it wonder what you were even thinking about until the next time you run out. Its the most blind you can be, you cant see yourself at all except to have shame and guilt. You learn not to trust anyone, and that everyone is out to get you because you don't associate with normal people, you associate with other people just as desperate to get their next fix. The real danger is if you are in a comfortable situation and never really have to experience withdrawal and spend years never realizing how fucked you really are.

Not only would I say not to try it, but do whatever you can right now to get off it. suboxone, EVEN methadone despite the horrible withdrawal, even if you are on those for the rest of your life its better than the dangerous and self destructive patterns of heroin. To get clean you have to put just as much work as you would put into getting high, which is hard because you feel like shit and barely can justify it. Especially when and if you end up alone on the streets with every bridge in your life burnt.

And to those on other opiates, eventually if you don't manage your pain correctly and like you are supposed to and you abuse them you will likely switch to heroin and then needles. From there on its going to be jail, death, drug dealing, or institutions. Or getting clean, which is such a low recovery rate that its probably just not going to happen before you do all of the above a few times except death which will be your final hurrah.
 
I just don't understand how the fuck anyone could put up with that brutal constipation long term... it's AWFUL.

Just pointing this out cause I haven't seen it mentioned, but it really feels like your shitting bricks I dreaded it like got the FEAR when I could feel one coming just so painful and this was from sniffing 100mg / day. Would never ever do that to myself again EVER and I consider myself a dumbass for managing my chronic pain with it for a while when percocet works just fine. However considering the extreme chronic pain I have I really can't blame myself for being curious, I just thought it was garbage though compared to real prescription pills. You just never know the actual dose so how can you be diligent. Then again my reasons to use are probably different from yours. To reiterate, you will fuck your tolerance over and it's tough to go back to orally taking pills after sniffing. It sucks looking back at how low your tolerance once was and trying to get it back down. I don't know anything about IV since I consider that a death wish. The ROA matters a lot, how fast it enters the mind. For myself anything more than 5 or 10mg of percocet in one dose is just way too much, and that is plenty enough to give me a nice high.
 
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you shit bricks is right! there have been many times where I would go WEEKS without taking as hit; finally, when the shit hit, it would be a solid BRICK and I would BLEED FROM MY ASS rather than just take a normal shit like the rest of the human race! there have been times where I had to PULL THE SHIT FROM MY OWN ASS and RIP IT OUT! yes, this has actually happened before. fucking BLOOD EVERYWHERE! so if you want to talk about a scary situation, picture sitting on that toilet, with your hand in your ass, and having to pull SHIT that was HARD AS A BRICK from your own ass!

only a heroin addict has that problem, ha. this was only about 5 months ago and was one of the worst experiences I had while using dope over my 15+yr opiate career! luckily over the last 3-4 months I have been on suboxone and they are helping a fucking ton!
 
Man, that's INSANE dude. Good luck. I would go 3 - 4 days without, and I eat a lot of food. Then, I would be holding onto the edge of the seat, just begging god for mercy and trying to put myself in a meditative state until it was over. Literally cried a couple times. Again, this was from sniffing 100mg/day for chronic pain in low doses throughout the day, which I kept up for around a year before I quit forever. It was extremely pure, chipped off a brick from SEA though so that was a heavy habit, for me at least. It was enough that if I kept at it, I would have progressed to the needle no doubt because I kept needing more and more over time.

Nowadays, I have a moderate oxycodone habit. I'd never touch H again because I can't afford to raise my tolerance like before and get addicted. Although I'm sure that's been said before, once you're introduced to it, it's tough to forget about. I'm just lifeless without oxy though and I have that severe back pain to confront. I'm really trying to lower my daily dose. Getting down to 15mg would be nice. All I know is that, for myself H is really bad news. No shit, but I'm very happy not to be using it these days and it's been a long time.
 
I always shot a G+/day and usually my shots would be .3-.5 depending on how good the dope was. this would build me up on the INSIDE like a MOFO! would go weeks w/o taking a shit only to tear my new asshole a new asshole.. many, many times!

even now on 12MG of bupe I still have somewhat of a "hard" time (get it!? hard!?) taking a shit. ill shit once every 2-3 days and its no where near the pain it once was but to most I assume they would consider it abnormal, ha.
 
BostonBrownTown said:
you shit bricks is right! there have been many times where I would go WEEKS without taking as hit; finally, when the shit hit, it would be a solid BRICK and I would BLEED FROM MY ASS rather than just take a normal shit like the rest of the human race! there have been times where I had to PULL THE SHIT FROM MY OWN ASS and RIP IT OUT! yes, this has actually happened before. fucking BLOOD EVERYWHERE! so if you want to talk about a scary situation, picture sitting on that toilet, with your hand in your ass, and having to pull SHIT that was HARD AS A BRICK from your own ass!

only a heroin addict has that problem, ha. this was only about 5 months ago and was one of the worst experiences I had while using dope over my 15+yr opiate career! luckily over the last 3-4 months I have been on suboxone and they are helping a fucking ton!
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Sweet Jesus Christ BBT, I must ask, lol, did you create your username specifically in reference to such traumatic experience?!
 
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time with it. That sounds both incredibly frustrating as well as painful.
Is this anything that laxatives or anything like that can help with?? I have never had an addiction to H, myself, but is adding in some kind of fiber even an option?
 
dumakey1212 said:
Sweet Jesus Christ BBT, I must ask, lol, did you create your username specifically in reference to such traumatic experience?!
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lol, nah.. BostonBrownTown is just the dope in Boston.. but kinda funny you mention that! I've been on BL for many, many years but they used to suspend accounts left and right around here, so I had to create a new one! never understood how people could be suspended for talking about price accidentally, or mentioning location in a post; it used to be complete hell around here but def. calmed down since my return.
 
I personally have never had any long-standing habits, but I've cycled through using "hard" and "soft" drugs my entire life starting from early adolescence. Heroin was one thing I had never tried and really wanted to, and when I got a grasp on darknet markets I finally ordered some #4. I didn't really see the appeal the first few times—it made me nauseous, I got really anxious about dying from CNS depression, etc., but I really wanted to get to "that place" where I could thoughtlessly, hedonistically waste my time (I'm clinically depressed and often just want every day to be over).

Fast forward a little less than a year to today. No, my habit hasn't ballooned massively. I saved up for my first house and got my down payment together in six months. On the surface, everything is dandy. I'm employed, I have hobbies, I date. But heroin creeps into my life, into my day, and makes the pleasure of being alive, active, lucky enough to be where I am in life...seem minimal. Even beyond the depression (which is under control with some lightweight mood meds). I use in generally a one-week-on, three-weeks+-off cycle. I'm not a daily user but rather binge when I'm between jobs (I freelance from home). I have friends who used to be really into H and now don't use at all, so I assumed I could do the same.

I used cocaine on and off for years, probably over a decade now, without ever having cravings in between binges. I figured I was strong enough for heroin.

It's different, though. When the coke wears off I feel like I just go back to being a normal human being. When I run through that last gram of H I feel like the world is ending. I rarely save enough to taper down, so I go into full withdrawal every time I'm done with a binge. I consider it my punishment, or some sort of balance, to make myself suffer in exchange for the pleasure I've selfishly indulged in, alone, shutting myself off from the outside world.

I just learned about "PAWS" which is probably why I feel awful and incredibly listless, sad, empty even after the initial withdrawal symptoms are over. But I think it's more than that. Even when I'm several months clean, H has its hooks in me, mentally. All I can think about every morning is lying in bed, spending the entire day doing bumps and smoking cigarettes while watching TV. Wasting away the entire day.

No, I haven't lost my life, my house, my family; in fact, no one knows about my habit other than anonymous online friends. I'm great at hiding the fact that I use. But it's done irreparable damage to my ability to enjoy sobriety. I still sporadically use, and out of the "pure pleasure" drugs as I call them (as opposed to more think-y, productive or psychedelic drugs) H is still my preferred drug of choice over MDMA, 6-APB, etc. It's simple and makes everything else in my life seem simple.

But I've wasted nearly a year pining for heroin and not making time to develop friendships or pay enough attention to my relationships to constantly break up with decent boyfriends. I guess the point of my story is that even when the results aren't dramatic, or even visible to others, H can really screw you up mentally when it comes to enjoying anything else. And I don't consider myself immune to the situation escalating—I have it under wraps for now, but I don't know that there won't come a point when I just throw my hands up and decide to become a full-time junkie. Heroin is all I think about, even when I'm pretending to be a functional human being and doing a great job of tricking everyone around me.
 
Also, yeah, the poop. After passing, like, an 8" rock-hard log for the 10th time in a row, crying, putting on gloves and trying to break the shit apart, I came up with my "binge remedy," which is honey, olive oil, flax and chia seeds, plus a massive amount of water. I've given up using senna/sennosides because they actually weaken your natural ability to take a crap on your own. Stool softeners are good. Colace helps. I try to get the ones without any laxatives bundled in with it so that I can maintain my own ability to pass stool. I felt like I was giving birth during my last binge, when I got a fentanyl-heavy mix and was dosing even more frequently/larger amounts, and I managed to get myself to do rabbit pellets, which are suboptimal but still better than the megaturds you get....

I force myself to eat, take a few tablespoons of that mix, sometimes a tablespoon of coconut oil, Colace, tons of water and make sure I sit on the toilet for a few minutes every day even if I feel like I don't need to go. It's helped me, could potentially work for someone else.
 
I assume all these people falling in love with H on the very first use were shooting? I had to essentially force myself to like it, and ran through about a gram of #4, insufflated, before I actually got those nice warm fuzzy feelings and rushes. My first time was uneventful and kind of anxiety-inducing, plus I puked a lot.
 
milfhunter20 said:
I assume all these people falling in love with H on the very first use were shooting? I had to essentially force myself to like it, and ran through about a gram of #4, insufflated, before I actually got those nice warm fuzzy feelings and rushes. My first time was uneventful and kind of anxiety-inducing, plus I puked a lot.
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Yeah I hear that a lot when people tend to throw up on their first time trying Heroin and feel anxious about their breathing etc., now my first time was a two bag (roughly about 200 mg of quality, as in 65%-75%, Heroin IV shot and I had sexual intercourse directly afterwards of the shot so it probably was twice as orgasmic (LOL ;)) as when you use it without having sex. However it did gave me a feeling of 'this is it, now you have crossed the line you said you would never cross' so that thought entered my mind but disappeared quickly when the nod came on... :\

As to regard to my previous posts, I am not trying to gramourize Heroin (ab)use nor advert about my shady business(es) which I am doing at the moment so if I came across like doing so I would like to apologize and will regret putting out that kind of feeling in my posts so think of it about being high at the time and rambling on about your newly found 'love'. :) I neither advise using Heroin in the way I am doing or even making a little profit of off it by simply coming across the 'right' (as in: wrong and shady as fuck) people who introduce you and others to their little scene they have.

BTW if anyone could answer my question about which needles to use best I would be very happy... :)

Never use the IV method for your first time as it will suck you right in the hardcore scene as it did with me, better yet, never try Heroin or other Opiods / Opiates except for legitimate issues (like me: for pain reasons but that doesn't condone Heroin use though). :)


--» Peace o/
 
CHOOSE LIFE...heroin will take everything from you before taking your life, it is a sad existence to be a heroin addict i do not believe anyone could achieve long term happiness while dependant if even able to achieve any happiness or stability in life. swim started heroin young, the first time swim tried it being around age 16, luckily wasn't hooked right away because swim had yet to inject it only insuflate a couple times until the time swim was around 18. swim had quite a bad drug habbit maintaining a baseline of benzo's while always looking out for the occasional opiates, also while smoking marijuana and trying other psychadelics. eventually at the age of 18 swim was at a friends house blacked out on benzo's where he tried heroin the first time not remembering it when swim awoke he realized he had already tried it once so he said why not just do it one more time, it must have already subconsciously got him at that point. about 2 weeks prior to the first trial of the drug swim remembered stating that he would NEVER do IV heroin because he had family whos lives had been ruined by it, but 18 y/o swim met a 21 y/o female model who was looking for a new friend basically someone with a sufficient source of $ to most likely help her get her fix easier, she ended up being the one to first inject swim and then go on to teach him all about it. swim did not see the storm coming until he was to late its like he was in the eye of the hurricane before he could do anything about it swims life went off the rails, a few hundred dollars a week habbit turned into thousands, using opiates here and there became sticking a needle in swims arm every few hours, this uncertain lifestyle destroyed swims life for quite a while it took over a year/two years to get into treatment but luckily after a few rehabs and actually wanting to stop swim has gotten help. it has not been worth all the trouble swim wishes he never had tried it, i think in some ways it has built swims character and made him a stronger individual hes actually now detoxing off of suboxone which seems to have gotten him far away from the old lifestyle of hustling for dope. a year on the suboxone and actively being a part of aa did something for swim he couldnt do for himself after loosing a few friends to this fucking disgusting shit called heroin, getting stabbed, going to jail, being a fugitive, living in a state of fear and loathing swim is blessed to have made it out the other side. today swim is no longer part of aa, smokes marijuana and occasionally dables in things but his life is moving the other direction rather than the way it was during active heroin addiction. dont try heroin, distance yourself from it, heroin is unforgiving, its evil, it will act as if its your best friend like i said taking everything you have slowly until it eventually takes your soul you will do all the things you said "i never will do..." and then some and be lucky to ever look back and see all that. not worth it unless you want to waste time you cant get back, CHOOSE LIFE.
 
Reading this makes me want to stop using H. It's not something I wish to do for the rest of my life.
 
dro boy said:
CHOOSE LIFE...heroin will take everything from you before taking your life, it is a sad existence to be a heroin addict i do not believe anyone could achieve long term happiness while dependant if even able to achieve any happiness or stability in life. swim started heroin young, the first time swim tried it being around age 16, luckily wasn't hooked right away because swim had yet to inject it only insuflate a couple times until the time swim was around 18. swim had quite a bad drug habbit maintaining a baseline of benzo's while always looking out for the occasional opiates, also while smoking marijuana and trying other psychadelics. eventually at the age of 18 swim was at a friends house blacked out on benzo's where he tried heroin the first time not remembering it when swim awoke he realized he had already tried it once so he said why not just do it one more time, it must have already subconsciously got him at that point. about 2 weeks prior to the first trial of the drug swim remembered stating that he would NEVER do IV heroin because he had family whos lives had been ruined by it, but 18 y/o swim met a 21 y/o female model who was looking for a new friend basically someone with a sufficient source of $ to most likely help her get her fix easier, she ended up being the one to first inject swim and then go on to teach him all about it. swim did not see the storm coming until he was to late its like he was in the eye of the hurricane before he could do anything about it swims life went off the rails, a few hundred dollars a week habbit turned into thousands, using opiates here and there became sticking a needle in swims arm every few hours, this uncertain lifestyle destroyed swims life for quite a while it took over a year/two years to get into treatment but luckily after a few rehabs and actually wanting to stop swim has gotten help. it has not been worth all the trouble swim wishes he never had tried it, i think in some ways it has built swims character and made him a stronger individual hes actually now detoxing off of suboxone which seems to have gotten him far away from the old lifestyle of hustling for dope. a year on the suboxone and actively being a part of aa did something for swim he couldnt do for himself after loosing a few friends to this fucking disgusting shit called heroin, getting stabbed, going to jail, being a fugitive, living in a state of fear and loathing swim is blessed to have made it out the other side. today swim is no longer part of aa, smokes marijuana and occasionally dables in things but his life is moving the other direction rather than the way it was during active heroin addiction. dont try heroin, distance yourself from it, heroin is unforgiving, its evil, it will act as if its your best friend like i said taking everything you have slowly until it eventually takes your soul you will do all the things you said "i never will do..." and then some and be lucky to ever look back and see all that. not worth it unless you want to waste time you cant get back, CHOOSE LIFE.
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youre lucky swing did all the dope and you never did.
 
I did and never got addicted, not my thing. Guess though I took to coke like many people take to smack. Everyone has their poison.
 
:) I love how this comment was structured just like 'Trainspotting,' which begins and ends with Mark Renton's monologue on 'choosing life.' I always take away something different from that movie, have watched it a billion times, depending on where I am in my life, whether I'm clean, happy, depressed, using, craving, withdrawing...always something new to find in that film.
 
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