With you there ^^ Mr Ibis...
Overheard two blokes that were friends of friends, at a gig, chatting about DMT one night and I piped up that I was curious to try that sometime... one guy passes me a 1.0G of crystals and says, "Pay me what you think?" and i said something to the effect that I didn't know the economy so I couldn't think, and he repeated himself, so I gave him $50... I wonder if that was in any way fair??
Some weeks later i was ready to go...
My friend who is often renowned for her insanely comprehensive, detail oriented planning and research capability had done any discovery necessary, and proposed that I pop over hers on a Saturday afternoon... I purposefully went along completely straight, having had no substances for 1/52 prior.
She loaded the pippy for me, and from memory gave me a fair dose and then told me to go ahead and that she wouldn't do or say anything more, other than if I asked her to, excepting taking the pipe from me should I need it (due to f-ing out and risking burning myself, or her couch!!)
So... I took three good lungfuls before being unable to smoke any more and was barely concious of her taking the pipe from my hands as I sat back. I don't know about anyone else, but I couldn't keep my eyes open... I recall amazing colours rolling like hills, a feeling of apprehension (as though I was about to jetty jump for the first time) and a female voice chiding me, asking, "Ready? Not ready? Ready? Not ready? Ready? Not ready?" over and over... this gave way to a feeling of intense emotion and a feeling that I wanted to cry out, not sad as such, just this big gulpy emotional feeling... I didn't cry out, but I actually had to check later to see if i had or not, as I wasn't sure.
I can't describe adequately what came next, other than it was as if all of the people and feelings I have ever met or had in my life 'reorganised', as if I was sorting a pile of feelings about my life experience so far into what mattered and what didn't... the whole time I had the gulpy, emotional feeling until the visuals slowed, and for some reason I just felt like t'the 'sorting' was done and I felt the urge to open my eyes.
My friend asked if I was okay, and i started to cry and couldn't speak, because I couldn't articulate what I had just felt happen... I nodded and she hugged me. I was okay, but overcome by the intensity of what had happened.
I learnt something from that experience about who I am and where I fit, as well as what I am holding onto, for better or worse... what it is that really matters to me and for me, who I am...
It was a profound and moving experience, and not something that I take lightly... I have shed a couple of tears now even recalling how amazing it felt to 'understand'...
This was approximately 18months ago, and following that I smoked a tiny bit one day, with no epic experience, other than some wild open eye visual effects... still cool though

Didn't want the epic adventure experience again, and still don't... wonder if I ever will again?? It's as though I got enough from it and don't need to.
Anyway, I just felt like sharing that after reading this thread... I hope that's ok... love to you all x
PS - I am a very un-'shanti-shanti' type, but on proof reading, it appears i may have an inner hippy trying to get out!! Sheesh!! Hahahahaha!!