methoxetaman
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2011
- Messages
- 317
I used to take psychs all the time from age 16 to about three months ago. However I took a break of a few months because I felt I was just not ready to handle them. After breaking through hard on DMT, and breaking down crying for about 3 days, they started to just make me lose control and basically have panic attacks.
The other day I was with my girl-friend and I took a small dose of 4-aco-dmt and for a good hour I was bawling to the point where I could barely breathe or stop crying. I'm not sad about anything in particular, it's just I will become stuck in thinking of sad things that have happened in my life and other sad things that are going on in the world. I think about dying and my health and the surgeries and tests I"ve had in the past couple years and I'll begin to convince myself that there is probably something very wrong with me and little things like back-aches will make me worry.
I also do a lot of methoxetamine now-days and sometimes the same thing will happen, more often at higher dissociating doses. I will lose control of my emotions and cry until I finally calm myself, often in front of my girlfriend with whom I live. She is beginning to see me as a drug addict because I always freak out yet continue to take this drug. She wants to support me but it's obviously hard when I have control of my stash and I tell her to encourage me to do other things and not to get mad at me when she founds out I'm high but I guess some times she can't help but be upset with me and sometimes that will set me off into a crying spell and it's embarrassing to break down in front of her like that.
Anyway I will quit rambling;
I was just curious as to whether anyone else experiences intense crying on psychadelics and/or methoxetamine/other dissociatives. Will I ever be able to enjoy them like I used to? Is this just a phase or have I just lost the euphoric positive psychadelic energy I used to get?
The other day I was with my girl-friend and I took a small dose of 4-aco-dmt and for a good hour I was bawling to the point where I could barely breathe or stop crying. I'm not sad about anything in particular, it's just I will become stuck in thinking of sad things that have happened in my life and other sad things that are going on in the world. I think about dying and my health and the surgeries and tests I"ve had in the past couple years and I'll begin to convince myself that there is probably something very wrong with me and little things like back-aches will make me worry.
I also do a lot of methoxetamine now-days and sometimes the same thing will happen, more often at higher dissociating doses. I will lose control of my emotions and cry until I finally calm myself, often in front of my girlfriend with whom I live. She is beginning to see me as a drug addict because I always freak out yet continue to take this drug. She wants to support me but it's obviously hard when I have control of my stash and I tell her to encourage me to do other things and not to get mad at me when she founds out I'm high but I guess some times she can't help but be upset with me and sometimes that will set me off into a crying spell and it's embarrassing to break down in front of her like that.
Anyway I will quit rambling;
I was just curious as to whether anyone else experiences intense crying on psychadelics and/or methoxetamine/other dissociatives. Will I ever be able to enjoy them like I used to? Is this just a phase or have I just lost the euphoric positive psychadelic energy I used to get?
