Ahhh, absolutely dying today. Ended up going out last night after my new gym induction (counter productive I know), mate bought 72 beers plus another couple of us chipped in and bought 2 crates of Carling. I was abused the entire night... mates slipped catfood in my beer, 4 of them pinned me to the floor and tried to make me eat a spoon of it (I escaped

), was handed a glass of coke with ash in it.. mate stole a fire extinguisher out of a taxi on the way to this girls and attacked my drunken friend who was already spewing, covering the neighbours car in the process. Police were called and appeared (luckily they were fairly sound and mates who were collecting MXE and AMT hadn't reappeared).
One of my mates informed me he overheard this gorgeous polish bird saying she thought I was hot (the one who's mate I pulled at the weekend lol). Ended up badgering her for a bit and got well in, til she told me if I really wanted her I'd have to refuse the drugs! This is after I've paid a tenner towards some MXE 8), fuck it though glad I pied off the drugs. I started getting paranoid her saying she liked me was just another one of the ripps they were all pulling on me all night. She was definately trying to wind me up. After I'd sworn on that was holly I wouldn't do drugs first thing she does is sniff some MXE. One mate went all religious on it hahaha! I was actually that sure she was messing with me by now I'd stopped hoping even, although she was all over me it seemed too good to be true...
Ended up rattling about 10 cans of Carling to deal with their drugged up patter. Was pretty hard to handle at times almost. Next thing I know she says "bed, come on" so I end up kissing cuddling & chatting to her for ages, she's telling me how much she's tripping and she really likes me but wants a reliable boyfriend not someone who just wants to shag her. I could actually have done with a sleep now I'm blazing drunk but she wont let me get comfy enough to sleep when I start trying, it was torture almost for a while.
Then all of a sudden she jumps on my face and takes all her clothes of proclaiming she wants sex after all. Licked her out, then went to stick my cock in her and it went from being the mother fucking rock to a piece of flubber! Sooo gutting! She said it didn't matter but we ended up chatting and stuff til 11am, during which time I did try and bang her another twice but for some reason couldn't get it to stay in her, ha. Fucking ballbreaker to say the least.
Been tidying up all day and eating pizzas in the sun, now the hangover has hit. Mate wants me to head and blast some K/MXE/Diamonds but think I'd probably die and become the victim.
TL;DR I know but not a bad bit of crack from a tuesday night I thought I'd post it %)