You might be a stoner if...

[Mafioso]

you might be a stoner if you have over 1,000 posts?

 

[purple_cloud]

bump, I wanted to make one of these tonight and found this old one:

You might be a stoner if...

you constantly misplace shit.
you smoke before doing just about everything.
you did your entire 6 years of a BA and MA in college while high
you tend to eat too much late at night
you need a bowl to get you through long car rides
you smoke way too much weed

In my case: you moderate a cannabis forum

I see the "you know you're a junkie..." thread getting a ton of attention, I feel like CD's stoner thread needs some lovin' too!

 

[Pillthrill]

^^ GREAT BUMP THANKS!

*Smoke before you go somewhere, and then you get back, and if there if you can
* It takes more than 1 bowl for you to be stoned
* Need a tolerance break but can't bear to do it
* Think about weed at work to get you through work so you can smoke weed
* You have 4 different kinds of weed at your house
* You take weed with you if you are leaving town
* Your parents have seen you stoned and don't know the difference
* If you can't read the computer screen cause your so stoned
* You forget how to walk correctly when high
* You have no judgement of time when you are high
* Have a humidifier disk for your weed
* You have a "weed journal"
* People talking about being able to sell you good weed gives you a "stoner boner"

 

[purple_cloud]

Hell yeah PT! I'd been thinking about it for a few days, and I had remembered this so I UTFSE and found it.

Oh, and another one: most other drugs kinda suck without week. They're good, but weed makes them that much better. I'm talking opiates/benzos/downers in general here. Psychs aren't my thing, and all weed does it make it so I can eat after an amp of any kind, feels dirty.

 

[Pillthrill]

Weed makes the best E come down ever!

* you lose your lighter somewhere in the bed and ask your partner to please toss you another one cause you know that you are too baked to look for it. (just happened!)
* You go into the kitchen cause you have the munchies ,but know that you just ate WAY too much and you shouldn't eat. But you go and stare at the food or think of the food anyway.
*If you think its ok when your broke or otherwise unable to get groceries cause you won't eat so much and the stuff you never eat gets eaten.
*If you have special tools to clean you metal bowl
*If you have a mini butane touch to clean your screen and bowl after you scape out the resin
* You smoke resin
* You have a custom made water pipe
* You go into head shops because you like to see what they have and you enjoy the atmosphere
* You don't mind smelling like the head shop you just came out of
*You can swear you can hear things that other people can't when you are high
* You have a monthly weed budget
*You have to go back and proof read your posts cause your stoned and write weird.
* Your friends look they look at your funny and you say "I'm stoned.", they knowingly smile and nod
* When you would rather smoke weed than drink
* When you would rather smoke weed than do anything
* You SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY!

 

[purple_cloud]

* You go into the kitchen cause you have the munchies but know that you just ate WAY too much and you shouldn't eat but you go and stare at the food or think of the food anyway.

I do this way too often, just about every night, haha.

* You smoke resin

Normally I'd pretend to be all high and mighty, but tonight I decided to admit to the few resin hits I took because I'm low on bud, guess I'm a stoner.

*You can swear you can hear things that other people can't when you are high

A lot of times when I'm showering while stoned (which I love) I swear I hear music, especially when I'm in the shower.

* You have a monthly weed budget

Yep, which I always exceed. Eh.

 

[Pillthrill]

Normally I'd pretend to be all high and mighty, but tonight I decided to admit to the few resin hits I took because I'm low on bud, guess I'm a stoner.

I figure waste not want not. I've had times where there is none and NO THANK you! I'm habituated and view weed as helping me sustain my sanity.

And it IS a different high, sometimes strong and short lived. But it works.
Like a shot, you need a chaser.

 

[purple_cloud]

Like a shot, you need a chaser.

Several other drugs, like oxymorphone/kpin/ativan/benadryl/flexeril seemed like they made excellent chasers tonight

 

[Pillthrill]

lol I have kpins but its a fine line between high and passed out.
Nothing else, no opiates for PT tonight.

Opiates= a good night.

 

[purple_cloud]

Opiates= a good night.

As always, I've been posting everywhere and mostly with my eyes closed...opiates and nodding are a lovely occasional treat.

But anyway...not to derail the thread, but back to mine (and all of yours I hope) one true love: mary jane

 

[Pillthrill]

Back on course:

If you this song!

So let's get to the point, let's roll another joint
And you don't know how it feels
No, you don't know how it feels to be me



http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/249"]http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/249419025"]http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/249

 

[ColdNorth]

When you instinctively pocket every lighter you ever use to start the bong
When your train of thought can go from anything to food in 2 steps
When your cats have been stoned several times from the passive smoke alone
..Maybe one time because they sneaked past your ever vigilant guard and ate some butter


When you find a whole branch with buds on it from last autumn's harvest on the ground after the snows melt?

 

[Axed]

Weed makes the best E come down ever!

* You go into the kitchen cause you have the munchies ,but know that you just ate WAY too much and you shouldn't eat. But you go and stare at the food or think of the food anyway.
* You smoke resin
* You go into head shops because you like to see what they have and you enjoy the atmosphere
* You don't mind smelling like the head shop you just came out of
*You can swear you can hear things that other people can't when you are high
* You have a monthly weed budget
*You have to go back and proof read your posts cause your stoned and write weird.
* Your friends look they look at your funny and you say "I'm stoned.", they knowingly smile and nod
* When you would rather smoke weed than drink
* When you would rather smoke weed than do anything
* You SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY!

^Guilty of so much of this.

You prefer to use your debit/credit card to buy things, because you need the cash for weed.
4th meal is a normal part of your life .
You keep a memo in your phone of stupid/funny/profound things you and your friends say to remember for later.
Music. All the time.
You get really excited to buy new paraphernalia.
You become a weed connoisseur.
You realize most things that you do would be better if you were high.

 

[purple_cloud]

You prefer to use your debit/credit card to buy things, because you need the cash for weed.

This is so true, especially recently for me...I owe quite a bit on a credit card now thanks to this behavior, just for basic things like gas/groceries/etc, but I think I've only done it because I could get away with it (probably for the last time too.)


Something I just did tonight qualifies for this thread:

You know you're a stoner when you're almost completely out of weed, so you put metal screens into your beloved glass pieces (in this case, my glass-on-glass Ehle bong) and hit some crystal hash you have left (clearly not direct flame), then get excited over a tiny drop of weed you found in a bag in a drawer, and decide to bong that too, with the screen still in. My bowlhead is sorta weird, its "screenless" so a zigzag pattern, I broke the original one and for some reason, all German bowls have a huge hole, so a glass screen is needed, which I used to use.
One should not be low on weed and using a bong, a bowl is the way to go for conservation. Grossly, with a screen.

You also know you're a stoner when you walk around typing/telling people you're too good for resin, but when you run outta bud/have a low supply, you end up taking resin hits anyway.

You know you're a stoner if you make to-do lists for EVERYTHING because you can't remember shit (school type things are fine, but groceries? large cleaning jobs? packing?)

 

[ColdNorth]

Oh, I forgot. When all your sinks shoot water all over the place because you've given all the metal screens that regulate the water flow a better home.

 

[chasm]

* You're so high you drop your weed on the floor, go to pick it up to pack another bowl and before your friend lights it, you realize it's cat poop.

 

[laCster]

you lose your phone, lighters, keys, ect.. 6-10 times a day
you think is a good day is being stoned all day
you think a good tolerance break is 12-24 hours
when every number on your phone has some correlation to weed (smoking buddies, dealers, ect.)
you smoke every day
you have a certain amount money to spend for weed monthly and you always go over
you sell weed on the side to help afford your weed habits

 

[EyesSizeOfTheMoon]

When you drive into another lane, stop, and as the light turns green you honk at the cars infront of you in an angry fashion only to find out that the lane you drove into was the parking area next to the sidewalk.

I didn't do this, but my friend did and I could NOT stop laughing after realizing what happened.
She was all like

Her: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!! I'M TOO STONED FOR THIS SHIT!!!!! -honk hoooooooonk-"
Me: "Um....isn't this lane for parking?"
Her: "Oh...-steers into the driving lane-"

That's the beauty of being in the city...while stoned.

 

[zyNc973]

You might be a stoner if... you're constantly thinking about weed and getting high. lol.

This applies to me so I am definitely a stoner.

And of course you can't be a stoner if you don't smoke alot of weed or aren't experienced with it!

 

[whataboutheforests]

if you wash your hands and then walk away with the sink still on

if you make weed brownies, leave, come back 8 hours later and realize the oven is still on

if you... eh i can't think of anything else, ima smoke a bowl and come back to this thread