Suicide thread, for assitance and support for all things related to suicide

[Jaylib]

Jaylib, I'm not sure which drug you're referring to that killed your libido but please believe that you will NOT be like this for the rest of your life. I know, because I've been through the exact same thing. I was on anti-depressants for about 9 months, 3 years ago. The medication absolutely destroyed my sex drive, I couldn't even THINK about sex if I tried. Obviously, being in a relationship, it was a big challenge for me and my partner (we are still together). BUT gradually my libido has been coming back over the last 6 months or so.

Like you, I had lost all hope. But then my sex drive started coming back. I actually wrote a thread about it, here: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=554388

I know that us humans are sexual creatures and when things aren't functioning the way they once were, especially in our 20's, it is deeply upsetting. But things will NOT be this way forever. You will gradually get better. Trust me.

I have been off 'Propecia' now for a year and 3 months. It has left with me a shrunken penis, no sex drive, ED, terrible sleep quality and anxiety. Just read some of the accounts on propeciahelp.com, this drug has destroyed a lot of men's lives.

I am really at breaking point now, sitting in my room after yet another terrible night's sleep and waking up numb. I don't want to be around to see everyone around me move on like I would if this hadn't happened, what's the point of enduring such pain?

I just can't gain the courage to kill myself in case it goes wrong, I can't use firearms being in Europe. I have a big loving family and even they don't matter anymore, I am so self absorbed in all of this.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

True enough: but I've made commitments I have to see through, or I'd be even less able to live with myself. 9 more months of this shit, if I can make it through, and I'm out, not just of the job, but the country. That's the closest I have to a plan, anyways...

Interesting, what kind of job is this and what country are you in?

I have been off 'Propecia' now for a year and 3 months. It has left with me a shrunken penis, no sex drive, ED, terrible sleep quality and anxiety. Just read some of the accounts on propeciahelp.com, this drug has destroyed a lot of men's lives.

I am really at breaking point now, sitting in my room after yet another terrible night's sleep and waking up numb. I don't want to be around to see everyone around me move on like I would if this hadn't happened, what's the point of enduring such pain?

I just can't gain the courage to kill myself in case it goes wrong, I can't use firearms being in Europe. I have a big loving family and even they don't matter anymore, I am so self absorbed in all of this.

Have you tried going to the doctor to see what can be done to correct this?​

 

[Where Wolf?]

(In response to Cap'n H - the quote function went funny on me...)

Publishing- editorial. And I'm in that shitty island off the coast of Europe.

For now.

 

[Jaylib]

Interesting, what kind of job is this and what country are you in?



Have you tried going to the doctor to see what can be done to correct this?​

Yes they are clueless and because of my young age they try to convince me that it's in my head.

I would ask on here what the best method is but obviously that won't be met with a good reception. I just know that I am going to fail in my ambitions, I will recluse, and I will just let my family down. I know it might be weak, but I want out. This isn't a temporary problem as far as I am concerned.

The best I can think of is a ridiculous amount of paracetemol and some alcohol.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I would ask on here what the best method is but obviously that won't be met with a good reception.

This is true, but also it is actually illegal to assist someone with suicide, which is why we are so strict about that on here.

The best I can think of is a ridiculous amount of paracetemol and some alcohol.

It is actually pretty difficult to "get it right" with this combination so please do not try it. It is MUCH more likely that you will just get a wicked hangover and suffer irreversible and extremely painful liver damage from the paracetamol. It is not worth the risk.

Jaylib, I've had a read of that propeciahelp.com website and it seems to be largely focussed on the lawsuit action side of things, so I suspect that the information about post-propecia syndrome are possibly slightly exaggerated (e.g. that the symptoms are often irreversible even with pharmacological intervention etc). I would highly recommend that you try and find a forum online that has discussions from other men who have post-propecia syndrome and find out from other people who are going through what you're experiencing. You might find that some of them eventually got back to their normal sex drive, whether it was in 2 years time or 5 years time, you might find that a lot of them returned to normal functionality eventually. I am SURE that there is hope for you. Please do not give up
If you want to talk one-on-one please PM me and we can discuss this further. In the meantime please take care of yourself and do not try to harm yourself.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Yes they are clueless and because of my young age they try to convince me that it's in my head.

I would ask on here what the best method is but obviously that won't be met with a good reception. I just know that I am going to fail in my ambitions, I will recluse, and I will just let my family down.

I think the key would be to enhance type II 5-α reductase (this will enable testosterone to be able to be converted to DHT more easily/effectively). This should reverse the negative side effects you have been experiencing, even if it encourages male pattern baldness.

Just because GP's and PCP's are completely ignorant of pharmacology - that doesn't mean you have to suffer.

Have you been to an endocrinologist?

 

[Jaylib]

I think the key would be to enhance type II 5-α reductase (this will enable testosterone to be able to be converted to DHT more easily/effectively). This should reverse the negative side effects you have been experiencing, even if it encourages male pattern baldness.

Just because GP's and PCP's are completely ignorant of pharmacology - that doesn't mean you have to suffer.

Have you been to an endocrinologist?

Many of the men on that forum have shelled out thousands for the best hormone therapy; including super doses of testosterone. Increasing androgens hasn't actually helped anybody in the long term. Some people say they recovered using thyroid medication, cortisol medication and antibiotics. There are a number of theories floating around.

At 20 years old, its all very confusing for me. I was always very happy up until I began losing my hair rapidly but I am way over that, I shave it and it's not an issue with girls or friends. Now I am dealing with something 1000 times worse.

My family think it could all be down to anxiety, after all they saw my personality change when I started losing my hair so they probably think I just keep having excuses to hold me back. My biggest fear is messing up at University, losing the great friends I have and getting stuck back home; that would probably spell the end of me. I have had 3 brief periods in the last year and 3 months where I have felt very good, my sexual power came back and I felt like my old self but all 3 have dwindled back to feeling terrible - it leaves me so hopeless.

 

[Jaylib]

Endocrinologists in the UK are pretty poor apparently, and really only like to deal with Diabetics but when I move back to the city I am going to pick my head up and go on a doctor chase again. Even a doctor that would get me the right blood tests would be great, let alone the right drugs.

By the way, thank you for the help. You guys sure seem helpful.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Yeah man....I'd rather lose my hair than have the side effects you mention. But if you look around....alot of guys in their 20s are already going bald...my hairline is already starting to receed and I'm 21. So don't feel bad...I just tell myself it makes me look older, which is something I don't object to.

 

[Jaylib]

The hair is totally irrelevant, I always get told I look good with a shaved head. The sexual issues that this drug has left me with are the only reason for my depression.

I just don't see why my body would fix itself in 2-4 years if it hasn't in a whole year anyway, and I want out before things get worse.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

it takes time....that's all i can say.

 

[Jaylib]

What takes time? have you experienced something similar?

 

[forums1969]

I have found having goals that make you feel better about you and your situation help a lot. Right now mine our to exercise daily try and eat better and engage my brain with stimulating activities. This are pretty simple goals and will take a long time to fully complete which gives me more time to be occupied with them.

Something I read about that really interest me is people taking niacin in high dosages around 3000 mg a day. They reported that it worked wonders for their depression. Has anyone ever tried this method before? When I have some extra cash I'm going to try it with a professional since in that dose you can get sick from it.

 

[Jaylib]

Here are some links to prove what Propecia can do:

http://health.msn.com/health-topics...cia-avodart-may-be-irreversible?wa=wsignin1.0

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19090946

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21418145

None of this was available before I chose to buy generic finasteride off the internet and take it in very small doses daily for just a few months. My family don't support me with it, they never ask me how I am coping, generally they just don't want to know and claim that it's anxiety. Imagine dealing with this at 20? when previously you were perfectly healthy and virile. I know it's weak but I want a suicide method to fall back on because if this carries on beyond two years, there is literally no point in me being around.

 

[Asclepius]

This must be severly traumatic for you Jaylib ...it is must be even more painful when you feel you are not getting support from your Family(I understand how isolating this can be and it rubs salt on the wound even more.

I urge you to keep searching for support on here and to keep searching on the net for others who are experiencing the same/similar situations. Panic is an awful state to be in and making decisions about your life based on this state alone, isnt really what you deserve for yourself at the moment; even though it is completely reasonable to feel this way.
Although a year has passed, it is still not a long period of time and I wouldnt sell myself short with an unjust belief that nothing will improve, when there is no evidence to back that up yet... because there could be a chance of things improving for you...
its just that you are in the dark about the whole situation at the moment and havnt received adequate information to understand what direction this situation is going to go in/lead you to.

Please hold steadfast at the moment and try not to let yourself collapse into despair(Thinking the worse case scenario doesnt necessarily represent the truth and serves as a temporary shield from any more 'knocks' to your esteem; based on/ like those you have already experienced). You will have support on here either way and hopefully, more realistic research will come to light about this problem with time and research. Dont give up on yourself man, you said there have been brief periods where you felt like yourself so this is a positive sign; albeit short lived but nevertheless to ignore the evidence, however brief, is doing yourself an injustice.
N3o gave some good advice about looking for a support group, related to this problem, as this will empower you and help heal some of those feelings of helplessness ATM.
Keep strong for yourself mate you have been through an overwhelming shock and keep us informed about what is happening for you.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Many of the men on that forum have shelled out thousands for the best hormone therapy; including super doses of testosterone. Increasing androgens hasn't actually helped anybody in the long term. Some people say they recovered using thyroid medication, cortisol medication and antibiotics. There are a number of theories floating around.

At 20 years old, its all very confusing for me. I was always very happy up until I began losing my hair rapidly but I am way over that, I shave it and it's not an issue with girls or friends. Now I am dealing with something 1000 times worse.

My family think it could all be down to anxiety, after all they saw my personality change when I started losing my hair so they probably think I just keep having excuses to hold me back. My biggest fear is messing up at University, losing the great friends I have and getting stuck back home; that would probably spell the end of me. I have had 3 brief periods in the last year and 3 months where I have felt very good, my sexual power came back and I felt like my old self but all 3 have dwindled back to feeling terrible - it leaves me so hopeless.

I cannot definitively say whether or not this is psychological or not in nature, but it is worth figuring out. I think if you try therapy, and work on your own personal anxiety as well as you can, then you might be able to rule in/out the anxiety as a factor.

None of this was available before I chose to buy generic finasteride off the internet and take it in very small doses daily for just a few months. My family don't support me with it, they never ask me how I am coping, generally they just don't want to know and claim that it's anxiety. Imagine dealing with this at 20? when previously you were perfectly healthy and virile. I know it's weak but I want a suicide method to fall back on because if this carries on beyond two years, there is literally no point in me being around.

I do not understand why your family is so able to just write it off like that, but unfortunately, family members do not know how to deal with these situations, as they do not know how to be empathetic/understanding for something that is hard to understand in the first place.

The truth is that pharmacology is not a widely studied subject among non-scholars. Many people live in great ignorance. The best you can do is try to do your best to work past these issues.

 

[Jaylib]

Thanks for the replies Asclepius and Captain Heroin. I am 100% sure that this is physiological, through reasons I have already mentioned. I have spent a lot of money on supplements and medicines over the last year but now I am just going to focus on overall health and hope for the best. Hopefully I can find a way to stop these issues interfering with my life too much and I can attain my degree and keep moving forward. There are some cases on the help forum (which has over 1800 members) where men have improved after 2-3 years but this is quite rare.

A few things to mention, as this is a drugs forum. Cannabis helps my sex drive a LOT, and I want to try GHB, something to do with GABA could help me with my issues. There have been two recoveries over on the forum from GHB. I know, I know - anecdotal reports on a forum but I figure I'm a 20 year old that likes to take drugs occasionally anyway, I'm very sensible, why not give something a go that sounds good and could potentially be good for my health. I just cannt find it in the UK.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Cannabis reduces anxiety, so it is possible that anxiety is at least a contributing factor. If it works for you, that's great! Maybe you should move to somewhere with more favorable marijuana laws. :D

Gabaergic drugs are also excellent anxiolytics, although they are also addictive. Additionally, there are some people who find benzodiazepines in particular to reduce sex drive, etc. So I would say to try to keep the use of gabaergics to a bare minimum.​

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Despite "having" to live at least until my mom dies, the thought has crossed my mind today.
Between having health problems, reoccurent infections with no cause which are becoming immune to antibiotics, found a lump on the back of my neck that I gotta get removed and checked out, reoccurent jock itch cause of sweating my nuts off in the factory I slave my life away at, being pushed pushed pushed at work and told to do shit I don't know how to do then getting bitched at if I ask questions or anything and bitched at if I fuck it up and don't ask questions, money issues, my mind is fucked from depression constantly, I have little energy to even take care of myself and shower or eat etc, my body is revolting on me and I'm in constantly pain/discomfort from having to hide the fact that I'm a fucking freak and when it comes down to it the shit that ices the cake and got me down in the first place as a human being is that I want nothing more to be fucking normal, and it's not a blessing in disguise to be different. I will always be a fucking freak no matter how hard I try to fix it cause....I'm not even going into it. I'm under stress, constant pressure, and I want it to all come to a fucking halt. I can't take it, I'm reaching my breaking point. When my health started going downhill it's made shit worse and my work frowns upon taking days off and I can't afford to make less money.

I just want it all to stop spinning. I'm stressed beyond belief.

I feel like saying fine life, you win. I have to wonder what I did to earn this? I never wanted to die a martyr and that's what it feels like, and I don't even know what I seem to be dying for. I feel as if some cause unknown to me is the reason I was born and will die, and it's all fucked up. I don't have the energy anymore.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

ZAP I am very sorry to hear how stressed out you are. I understand how you feel though. I had a non-cancerous cyst which had to be removed when I was really young. I didn't know if I was going to have cancer for a while, luckily I did not.

The best thing you can do is to schedule an appointment with the appropriate doctor (dermatologist? I'm not sure to be honest - I was not very old when I went through this), and avoid carcinogenic stuff like smoking tobacco.

I am sure you will be fine though ZAP! Even if it's something as grave as cancer, the earlier you get treatment, the better the prognosis.