NMI Social, theotherside of takeout is mildew on rice..

[Captain.Heroin]

Originally intended for it to be "your" But I guess it works both ways actually

I rarely do this stuff, I just really needed something like this tonight. I almost typed "deeded" then was like "lol that's not right..." hahaha.

I used my buprenorphine solution to dissolve the ketamine, and I used 224mcg of buprenorphine as well IM'd with the ketamine.

I normally IV about 80 mcg to 96mcg per shot.

I hope for this combination of k and bupe to hold me over a while. I'm really high right now and might just want to lie down in the darkness for a few.

 

[muvolution]

man I'm so jealous. Enjoy it cap'n.

 

[coelophysis]

Lay down for a few lifetimes or so right?
Sounds fun

 

[ektamine]

Wow. This is the first day I haven't smoked hash/oil/weed in a LONG time.
I don't know what to make of it... Should I be happy that I abstained?
Fuck it, I'm gonna drop some oil on the foil and have at it.
Sleep is too hard to obtain in the sober state

 

[ektamine]

I want a ball of hash as big as my fist.

My hash oil supplier has those over-sized wine jugs all over his kitchen (at least 4-5 most of the time) full of hash oil. It's literally painful to look at them, without getting to stick your finger in like winnie-the-poo would do.

 

[coelophysis]

I'm going to lay down. I may or may not fall asleep. SO maybe I will be back. Or maybe I'll catch you guys on the flip

 

[coelophysis]

 

[ektamine]

^ HAHAHA. That one was a serious LoL :D

Anyways NMI, I'm gonna go find a movie about violence or war or genocide to make me more appreciative of my situation

EDIT This should do the part :D
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468565/

 

[Captain.Heroin]

man I'm so jealous. Enjoy it cap'n.

Well, I'm jealous of you because you have a job! hahahaha. Not really though because I'm not a jealous person, even when I was homeless I wasn't jealous of people.

I appreciate it man! You'll have your time with it one day. Just remember if you do come across it, don't use it very often. Ketamine tolerance, if you ever develop it, won't go away very easily if at all ever.

Lay down for a few lifetimes or so right?
Sounds fun

Definitely man! It was a sweet experience.

Wow. This is the first day I haven't smoked hash/oil/weed in a LONG time.
I don't know what to make of it... Should I be happy that I abstained?
Fuck it, I'm gonna drop some oil on the foil and have at it.
Sleep is too hard to obtain in the sober state

It's OK man, whenever I go a day without intaking cannabis, I am just really proud of myself. :D I think of it as a day I learned to be able to cope without it. I haven't had many of those in the last few years. But they happy.

Overall the trip was really nice, very full on and intense. During my meditations to Merzbow (I listened to track A2 from Worker Machine, the ending of part 1 from Blues Maggots, and then I listened to the first half of Offering, which probably took about 40-50 minutes to listen to), I had really intense CEV's and OEV's that I was able to generate myself.

I have always been interested in the ability to self-create visuals and have control over them so I hope to be able to further explore this ability in the future, although it will be a while in the future as I am busy for now.

If I wrote a trip report, and it would be fun to do it, it would be great and all but I just don't have the time. I know my fiancee wants to chill out with me and eat some food and watch something entertaining. :D

How's it going with everyone else?

 

[ektamine]

Glad you had fun Cap.
The dissociative space is such a wonderful place.

I'm doing alright... finished my movie, which was alright, but not as good as I had hoped.

Hmm... what to do now....
CH - If you are a daily or nightly smoker as well, how do you get to sleep on days when you don't use it?
Or are you naturally an easy-sleeper? Personally I get very very intense insomnia whenever I go a night without smoking, end up tossing around in bed till around sunrise.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Captain reminisces about childhood; laugh at my expense as I expect you to.

Glad you had fun Cap.
The dissociative space is such a wonderful place.

I'm doing alright... finished my movie, which was alright, but not as good as I had hoped.

Hmm... what to do now....
CH - If you are a daily or nightly smoker as well, how do you get to sleep on days when you don't use it?
Or are you naturally an easy-sleeper? Personally I get very very intense insomnia whenever I go a night without smoking, end up tossing around in bed till around sunrise.

Due to ADHD I have had horrible insomnia/hypersomnia for years. Taking dexedrine helps me so much. When I come off of it, I am already tired and ready to sleep and I get good, refreshing sleep. When I am taking a day off of dexedrine (often the same time I'll not smoke cannabis for a while), all I can seem to do is just wake up every few hours, go use the bathroom, IV some buprenorphine, and return back to sleep. The 80mcg IV injection of buprenorphine is enough for me to get back to sleep with no problems.

I also maintain excellent exercise, diet, etc. - these are the most important things that people don't take care of before getting on sleeping medication.

I still have days after having exercised earlier in the day (as exercising at night may increase adrenergic stimulation which reduces the likelihood of getting to sleep), eating well, if I still can't get to sleep due to circumstances and I know I need to, I will take temazepam at a 7.5mg or 15mg dosage, depending on if I need a normal 5-7 hour night's rest or if I need a 8+ hour rest from 1-2 days of being awake. I only take temazepam about once in a month or less frequently though. It's very rare that I will take it to be honest with you.

I understand this information may be kind of contraindicated as cannabis helps promote exercise for me, and I know it promotes increased hunger and sleepiness for most people, so I can see how you may be like "well Captain how do I do these things without cannabis???" - I have had to learn how to make myself eat whenever I am too nauseous to naturally want to. You just have to start slow with something that's easy to eat like some grapes or some yogurt. Stuff like this is easier to eat and stomach.

Having a nice warm shower can also help, but then again, I have actually fallen asleep in the shower before (I have had sleep issues ever since I was very young as a child - this is when this was most problematic for me, I had clear issues with sleep from ADHD and the most my parents could do was yell at me a bit more to see if that would get me awake 8( ) - and it's not fun to hit your head on the side of the shower, so maybe take a bath for harm reduction's sake, lol!

To continue though, my parents bought me an alarm, and I would sleep through it - sometimes due to sleep paralysis. One morning my sister a few room's down the hall was awoken by my alarm before I was, and she came in my room, unplugged it, and went back to bed. My dad came to check on me, I had not awoken at all, and the first thing I wake up to this day is my dad yelling at me asking why I have unplugged my alarm. 8) I frankly was like, what? I did no such thing.

When radio clocks failed me, my dad reverted to letting the dogs jump on me; he would open my bedroom door with the dogs and be like "come on, let's jump on Captain!" (they called me by my first name obviously, I'm just placing "Captain" in there for the sentence to make sense). So on these days, I would be awoken to several, very heavy dogs (15-20 lbs +) licking my face ferociously. You can imagine what this is like during sleep paralysis.

Even if my dad managed to get me awake by having several heavy dogs jump on me and lick me until I awoke, and even if I was able to suddenly and violently get out of sleep paralysis to the horror that the tactile sensations I was experiencing without the ability to do anything about it during the paralysis was indeed, again, real... and I was able to get in the shower, I would fall asleep while standing up in the shower.

Then I would go back to my room, get back in bed and go back to sleep without thinking about it, as even sitting on my bed would have me too relaxed.

...and this is the end of me reliving horrifying childhood experiences for now. I have some worse ones but, you know, I think I'm good for now. I think you all are getting some laughs at my expense too so enjoy hahahaha.

Mom, Dad, if you're reading this, you know it's me. Yeah, I doubt you will ever read this, or any post, thread, or even browse an internet forum, but who knows, maybe one day one of you will sign up for a Bluelight account. Yeah...right. HAHAHAHA.

To me, if you are restless in bed, I would think you could get a bit more exercise. I rarely talk to people who already get a lot of exercise but still have sleep issues but they do exist, my friend TAoW and maybe 2 other Bluelighters are also in the same boat. Myself partially but I have managed to work on my insomnia/hypersomnia and my ADHD medication, dexedrine IR, does the most for me in terms of "help" with sleep.

 

[ektamine]

Thats interesting that amphetamines help you get to sleep. Its the exact opposite for me.

I get excellent exercise, I've been biking an average of ~10 miles a day for months now, and I try to eat as healthy as possible. My sleeping habits are fine if I smoke before bed, and they are fine if I am clean from smoking (haven't smoked in a week or two). Its when I've been smoking daily, and I stop for 1 or 2 nights, that I really get screwed.

 

[ektamine]

Due to ADHD I have had horrible insomnia/hypersomnia for years. Taking dexedrine helps me so much. When I come off of it, I am already tired and ready to sleep and I get good, refreshing sleep. When I am taking a day off of dexedrine (often the same time I'll not smoke cannabis for a while), all I can seem to do is just wake up every few hours, go use the bathroom, IV some buprenorphine, and return back to sleep. The 80mcg IV injection of buprenorphine is enough for me to get back to sleep with no problems.

I also maintain excellent exercise, diet, etc. - these are the most important things that people don't take care of before getting on sleeping medication.

I still have days after having exercised earlier in the day (as exercising at night may increase adrenergic stimulation which reduces the likelihood of getting to sleep), eating well, if I still can't get to sleep due to circumstances and I know I need to, I will take temazepam at a 7.5mg or 15mg dosage, depending on if I need a normal 5-7 hour night's rest or if I need a 8+ hour rest from 1-2 days of being awake. I only take temazepam about once in a month or less frequently though. It's very rare that I will take it to be honest with you.

I understand this information may be kind of contraindicated as cannabis helps promote exercise for me, and I know it promotes increased hunger and sleepiness for most people, so I can see how you may be like "well Captain how do I do these things without cannabis???" - I have had to learn how to make myself eat whenever I am too nauseous to naturally want to. You just have to start slow with something that's easy to eat like some grapes or some yogurt. Stuff like this is easier to eat and stomach.

Having a nice warm shower can also help, but then again, I have actually fallen asleep in the shower before (I have had sleep issues ever since I was very young as a child - this is when this was most problematic for me, I had clear issues with sleep from ADHD and the most my parents could do was yell at me a bit more to see if that would get me awake 8( ) - and it's not fun to hit your head on the side of the shower, so maybe take a bath for harm reduction's sake, lol!

To continue though, my parents bought me an alarm, and I would sleep through it - sometimes due to sleep paralysis. One morning my sister a few room's down the hall was awoken by my alarm before I was, and she came in my room, unplugged it, and went back to bed. My dad came to check on me, I had not awoken at all, and the first thing I wake up to this day is my dad yelling at me asking why I have unplugged my alarm. 8) I frankly was like, what? I did no such thing.

When radio clocks failed me, my dad reverted to letting the dogs jump on me; he would open my bedroom door with the dogs and be like "come on, let's jump on Captain!" (they called me by my first name obviously, I'm just placing "Captain" in there for the sentence to make sense). So on these days, I would be awoken to several, very heavy dogs (15-20 lbs +) licking my face ferociously. You can imagine what this is like during sleep paralysis.

Even if my dad managed to get me awake by having several heavy dogs jump on me and lick me until I awoke, and even if I was able to suddenly and violently get out of sleep paralysis to the horror that the tactile sensations I was experiencing without the ability to do anything about it during the paralysis was indeed, again, real... and I was able to get in the shower, I would fall asleep while standing up in the shower.

Then I would go back to my room, get back in bed and go back to sleep without thinking about it, as even sitting on my bed would have me too relaxed.

...and this is the end of me reliving horrifying childhood experiences for now. I have some worse ones but, you know, I think I'm good for now. I think you all are getting some laughs at my expense too so enjoy hahahaha.

Mom, Dad, if you're reading this, you know it's me. Yeah, I doubt you will ever read this, or any post, thread, or even browse an internet forum, but who knows, maybe one day one of you will sign up for a Bluelight account. Yeah...right. HAHAHAHA.

To me, if you are restless in bed, I would think you could get a bit more exercise. I rarely talk to people who already get a lot of exercise but still have sleep issues but they do exist, my friend TAoW and maybe 2 other Bluelighters are also in the same boat. Myself partially but I have managed to work on my insomnia/hypersomnia and my ADHD medication, dexedrine IR, does the most for me in terms of "help" with sleep.

Wow man... DOGS?!
Now THAT is an alarm clock. Thats pretty interesting :D

I don't think I've ever even heard of such a heavy sleeper!

 

[gavatron@oz]

good evening gentlemen,

how is everyone??

Any luck with the job hunt ekt?

Lé capiton have you mad the move? I was a heavy sleeper when a kid,ont time i fell off top bunk bed down against the wall and under the lower bunk..my mum had half the neighbourhood looking for me,and was on the phone to the police as i stumbled out from the bedroom.

 

[JoshE]

Lol^

How you doing Gav? Its currently raining here with lightning and thunder..We got hit by heaps of smog this morning..was crazy. I couldn't even see the road at 4am when driving to work.

 

[gavatron@oz]

Lol^

How you doing Gav? Its currently raining here with lightning and thunder..We got hit by heaps of smog this morning..was crazy. I couldn't even see the road at 4am when driving to work.

hey mate ,ive been good.trying to behave and ween myself off the gear..getting some bad negative effects now.friends almost organizing an intervention.lol.

Was it fog or smog.. Weve had sick weather. Tore the races to shreds..im sure the entire place was watching us..got real loose.then even worse at casino...with plenty of dramas as usual.

You hit the trips on the weekend? I saw a photo... U get sheebas down there?

 

[JoshE]

Yea i think it was both smoke and fog. We had 2 fires burning yesterday and just then i heard on the news that Perth is getting hit with fog.

Haha any luck at the races or casino? Glad you ran a muck :D Nah didn't trip on the weekend, what photo did you see? The one with the dope glasses? If so, that was when i tried LSD for the first time years ago.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Thats interesting that amphetamines help you get to sleep. Its the exact opposite for me.

I get excellent exercise, I've been biking an average of ~10 miles a day for months now, and I try to eat as healthy as possible. My sleeping habits are fine if I smoke before bed, and they are fine if I am clean from smoking (haven't smoked in a week or two). Its when I've been smoking daily, and I stop for 1 or 2 nights, that I really get screwed.

And I take it you only smoke cannabis, not tobacco?

That's really interesting you're even able to take a week or two off from it, I am not able to do this, lmao.

But hey, you're getting excellent exercise and diet, that's great!

I'm thinking when you do the whole 1 or 2 nights off max from cannabis thing, you can just take an antihistamine like doxylamine, I think this would be the best way to counteract the insomnia.

I personally like temazepam but I only use it once in a blue moon.

But yeah it is very interesting that dexedrine helps me get to sleep. At times it'll be the acute effects that cause me to go to sleep on a short nap, and at other times it'll be when the acute effects are over, I'll be so perfectly relaxed and ready to go to sleep on the comedown.

I think that this is specifically one of the unique reactions people with ADHD have to amphetamines, and it goes to show how unique we all are. I really would trade having ADHD for never having to use stimulants ever again though, this is how much I hate having ADHD, I just can't really avoid it sadly. I can tell I am not growing out of it, and if anything, it's probably getting worse over time.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Wow man... DOGS?!
Now THAT is an alarm clock. Thats pretty interesting :D

I don't think I've ever even heard of such a heavy sleeper!

It was really cruel and I'm surprised I never got in a physical altercation with my father to be honest with you. lol

But yeah, that is how bad sleep paralysis, and hypnagogic hallucinations would be for me, when I was a child.

Over time, hypersomnia and insomnia started interchanging more often and now a days I am a lot better, although I deliberately am taking some time off from my normal sleep schedule now that school is done, and I am about to be moving. The day comes closer and closer, I am so excited!!!

good evening gentlemen,

how is everyone??

Any luck with the job hunt ekt?

Lé capiton have you mad the move? I was a heavy sleeper when a kid,ont time i fell off top bunk bed down against the wall and under the lower bunk..my mum had half the neighbourhood looking for me,and was on the phone to the police as i stumbled out from the bedroom.

lol wow man!

I'm trying to find an apartment that's "just right" (goldie lox and the 3 bears sort of thing) - but I should be making the move very soon. Hopefully within another week, no more than 2 weeks.

I'm so glad that you were OK, if I'd have fallen that far I'd have seriously hurt myself.

 

[muvolution]

Hey Ektamine, what kind of bike do you have?

Cap'n - that sounds terrible.

I have always had sleep issues also, but the only time they got that bad was when I was in my Master's program for architecture. Myself (and honestly, most of my peers) were so sleep- deprived that when I did get a chance to sleep, I never could, and I would often go home at like 6 am from the studio to shower and change only to wake up on my floor/ in a cold shower 2 hours later, late for class, with no idea what happened.
My roommate at the time and myself invested in 5 communal alarm clocks and we would put them places we couldn't reach so that there was less chance of us turning them off in our sleep.
Our class started with 96 people and graduated 24, which is about the same rate of attrition as SEALS training, haha. Also, at any one time, I would say 50-70% of the class was on benzos/ amps, usually together. Now that is scary.

During thesis semester it was not uncommon to be up for 5-6 days at a time with 3-4 hours rest in between. Quite simply if you didn't do this, you didn't graduate. I would have no trouble throwing down newspaper and sleeping on the tile floor in studio - doin it homeless style, which was probably the hardest I ever slept.
Most people that I talk to are still having recurring sleep problems from the "conditioning" we performed on ourselves. Talk about a fucked up situation.