Flickering
Bluelighter
Psychelics are a significant part of the reason I would now consider myself agnostic rather than atheist, not because of any entity contact or visions or whatever but precisely because 'its just a substance tweaking chemicals in your brain' which has helped me realise how subjective (as humans generally and as individuals) our view of the world is and how little we do or can really "know".
Mm, to be more specific, I'm atheist / agnostic. Agnostic for precisely the reason you said, and atheist because by default, I don't believe in an afterlife or in God. I've written essays about our limited perspective on the universe, some were quite strange, I even had one friend ask me if I was tripping when I wrote it, long before I was considering taking drugs.
As for mdma I used to think that it was just a party drug with very limited potential for valuable insights etc. but when I was in the US recently (I live in Australia also) I had by far the cleanest and strongest pill I've ever had and I had a very valuable experience (in a Las Vegas hotel room of all places) so I think there is huge potential there and I wish I could experiment further (damn Australia's mdma drought).
Sweet. Can I ask how you managed to get a pure pill or was it just luck? I suppose it doesn't matter at this stage, but I might be visiting the U.S. around the end of this year.
Finally, if you can get DMT easily then I am very jealous.
Oh and san pedro - are you sure that's still legal to buy here? I thought it was banned even as an ornament. But if not I definitely need to find some, as you say now, before it disappears.
Never Knows Best said:You know, someone once said that there is absolutely no evidence to support the belief that life is serious. There's nothing wrong with tripping for the sole aim of fun (I am now of the general position that psychs are for fun, and insight is a just a bonus/form of fun). Trying to find insight never really worked well for me, I just let it happen if it happens. Also, taking your psychs too seriously can very easily lead you down a path of delusion (which many of us have gone down at some point or another, for varying lengths of time). I know you said you realize it's just chemicals messing with your brain, but the fact you're on a quest to achieve something from them tells me you may one day lose the plot chasing some ''truth'', be mindful in avoiding that sort of thing.
I will. I guess that's a danger too.
It so happens that despite how austere I'm probably coming across, I have three sacred golden rules of life:
1. Never take life seriously.
2. Make sure your enjoyment of life doesn’t infringe upon others’ enjoyment.
3. Always remember that nothing is sacred.
So you know, when you say the insights are a bonus fun, in a way that's actually the point. Atheist, agnostic or whatever, I'm also a nihilist, so I don't believe anything has an ultimate purpose and what I choose to do with my life is enjoy it. But there's enjoying it as in eating cake and having sex five times a day, and there's enjoying it as in diving deep into the puzzles, self, reality, mind, etc. I'm having a lot of fun, it's just more of a... philosophical fun, I suppose? than a recreational fun. Which has always meant more to me. I have a distinct passionate purpose, and the thought of fulfilling it is way more exciting than the thought of getting high for any other reason. Basically it's something I have to do, but it's about the only thing in the world I actually want to do, which is why I take it seriously. I don't WANT to find a stable job because it's boring, hence I don't take it seriously. But I sure want to solve this puzzle, hence I give it my all. These principles are there to make sure I do.
Also, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you learn from DXM? I love dissociatives, but I view them as the ultimate tools for escapism/hedonism, they may have taught me a thing or two, but what I learned was possibly delusion, and maybe even a danger to me. Also, what plateau do you usually aim for/find the most valuable?
I've only just started, haven't gone higher than second plateau yet. What I've gained from it so far is, I'm more comfortable with life. I guess the severe dissociation brings my body to the place where my mind is usually at, and in a strange way helps me cope with being so spaced out all the time. I've also felt more confident. In the second plateau, I'm able to turn my surroundings into a very personal and safe space, impenetrable, and that's quite a beautiful sensation. The changes are emotional, subconscious and subtle. I'm not sure what to expect from the third plateau, which will be two DXM trips away - next one 480mg, then 600mg.
Not looking forward to that vanilla cherry flavour.
usually with the help of some object, video, or song of some emotional attachment that reminds of what/when I want to recall and prompt reminiscing
Yeah, this is my plan. Sober, I'm quite receptive to sense impressions from years ago. If I see a film I haven't seen since I was five, I'll get the shadow of a memory of what it was like watching it the first time, at that age. I'm hoping some of the drugs on my list are going to expand that sense. I've heard psilocybin is very good for this exact thing. Several accounts at about 2g report going somewhere they haven't been in a long time, and they relive experiences they had there.
Why are you interested in recovering memories, if I may ask?

good stuff