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wow I wish I still had some pain killers. Two weeks of round the clock opiates really not the funnest thing when you run out of scripts. Been awake way to long and I can't find way to get my body to stop feeling so uncomfortable. Don't really have enough pain for them to write me a script of anything. lame
 
Yeah, but just not what I want to deal with after being in the hospital for a week and dealing with the pain in my leg all this past week. I just want to feel normal. I still have to finish all my finals. I was on a great a wonderful streak of getting active and healthier than I may have been for a little bit. I lost 10 lbs and gained noticeable amounts of muscle before I was waking my roommate up at 5 in the morning to drive me to the hospital.

I'm thinking I might order a small amount of kratom and try get myself to a comfortable level. I can't sit still for more than what feels to be a minute with out the need to move, or a puesdo like pain (sensory experience that doesn't have that burning feelings but is so uncomfortable that it is beyond frustrating and agitating)
 
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Ohh yea that's right I forgot you were in the hospital not too long ago. Yea man it sucks to continue along keeping the opiate(oid) things going but if that's what it takes to properly devote yourself to finals and escape the distraction and agitation..

I've been reading a lot of the "death due to drugs" threads the past week and the thought of doing any kind of opiates for an extended period makes me even more sad now than before... but I have a hard time relating, opiates often make me just feel uncomfortable while on them so I haven't ever been able to enjoy them that much.

Good luck with finals btw
 
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I've some how managed to maintain a recreational relationship with opioids for the last 7 years. Surprises me sometimes when I realize this, especially since I know how fond I am of opioids. The last thing I want is the long term damage that opioids can cause. Though sometimes just wanting to be able to get through the day over powers that. I'm lazy enough and sleeping all day or being fidgety all day has only shown to make my life style worse. I've really switched my diet this past week and about to start some lighter work out days to get back to where I was before I went to the hospital. Also going to the hospital and having clots being an issue or potential issue twice within 3 year is not what I really call good news, so I'm really trying to get in a healthier track. I know I've been a bit abusive to my body this past few years even when I know I shouldn't, but it sucks when your trying to get things underway and your having the hardest time doing daily life with out doing drugs daily. I'll hopefully get through this in the next few days and I'll be able to get to where I'd like to this summer.

I'm also pissed cuz i've been trying to take this chick out on a date and I don't want this to become an issue for such a situation.

Drunk 3 beer even though I was enjoying a few weeks with not a drop of alcohol in me. Maybe I can find the ability to fall asleep. Go go, cannabinoids, do your magic, and make me eat some food, only to pass out soon after.
 
LSDMDMA&9621026 said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW80Lrc_HJ4&feature=related
chopper is fuckin hilarious but what does he/the real chopper have against drugs?
i'm sure the real chopper has done drugs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_Iwk0JsQxo&feature=related
and why in god's name would you want to rob a drug dealer?
wouldnt any real dealer just shoot you?
Click to expand...

He probably has, who hasn't these days? But he's just taking the piss, making comedy haha.

Been out with a girl in the city all day today, she wants to be more than friends without getting into a relationship (fuck buddies if you will) although, seeing her in person for the first time after coming to this agreement, she seemed like she didn't want to. :/
I asked her about it and she responded by telling me that ' for some reason she was really shy'
I guess i'l just have to give her time. :/
 
Dark_Raver said:
He probably has, who hasn't these days? But he's just taking the piss, making comedy haha.

Been out with a girl in the city all day today, she wants to be more than friends without getting into a relationship (fuck buddies if you will) although, seeing her in person for the first time after coming to this agreement, she seemed like she didn't want to. :/
I asked her about it and she responded by telling me that ' for some reason she was really shy'
I guess i'l just have to give her time. :/
Click to expand...


If she's feeling shy about it you may need to be more proactive and take the initiative, on the other hand, if she's just saying that she may withdraw from association with you completely if you're too overbearing/can't take a hint. Use your best judgment as your guide, and if you don't trust yourself, flipping a coin is always an excellent strategy when you're feeling indecisive (some say you should see if the result disappoints you then go with other if it does, but I generally just go by the result of the toss).

In other news, been drowning out my misery/suicidal thoughts in booze again, can't be healthy for my body, but it's effective enough in getting me through the day (it really doesn't take that much to work).
 
Well, I'm getting some gabapentin instead of any opiates. For one, its a hell of a lot cheaper and two its probably a better choice for adjusting back into a normal life style. Not to mention I find gabapentin to have pretty awesome in its therapeutic aspects (I'd love to have a ketamine and gabapentin regime for ADD, anti-stress/stress recovery, social and general anxiety, memory retention and formation, etc. [maybe a >10mg dose of amps on top]). If only I had better control over my intake of drugs when they are in my possession. I've had more than enough ketamine in my possession to last me at least a year or two of therapeutic use (>30mg), which would be a thousand times more beneficial than a few weeks of fun out of the year.

I tried to get a script for a gaba or nmda related drugs for my issues, and was aiming for memantine. Of course I was just basically left with the choice of SSRIs or nothing. i really want to find a drug that can help restore brain functioning to 'healthier' levels via LTP (long term potentiation). I really don't enjoy using amphetamines to help with my issues.
 
Never Knows Best said:
If she's feeling shy about it you may need to be more proactive and take the initiative, on the other hand, if she's just saying that she may withdraw from association with you completely if you're too overbearing/can't take a hint. Use your best judgment as your guide, and if you don't trust yourself, flipping a coin is always an excellent strategy when you're feeling indecisive (some say you should see if the result disappoints you then go with other if it does, but I generally just go by the result of the toss).
Click to expand...

She said she is keen, although I too do get shy in person, I still did make the move and such, but yes, as I said, she seemed like she wasn't keen.
I've decided to give it another try, and try make all the moves, if she still seems like she doesn't want to, then i'll give up on it.

Got so many jobs to apply for today.
Applied for 3 Electrician based apprenticeships and it's only 10AM -.-
:| Fun day this will be.
 
I've been searching for a job lately, I really don't want to work this summer but unfortunately it seems I'm going to have to. Poo.
 
Yes, I only just got out of school so now i'm desperately in need of one, my parents have stopped funding me, so now i'm down to, literally, $1.80.
YAY!
Now to make that last me the few weeks until I get a job D;
 
sup kangaroo diggity?
so beign serious, are there lots of kangaroos in perth?
i think the one diggity i talk to (if i rmemeber right he's in brisbane) said theres lots of kangaroos there
i wanna see a kangaroo :(
 
Good luck with that DR and tB.

I wish I had employment, but like, fucking mcdonalds doesn't even want me, so what do you do? Hahhaha, I still have a couple places left to apply to I guess, just difficult to work up motivation to do so when ya ran out of hope a long time ago.

I did have some delicious artichoke tea and polish cake as a dessert (dinner was home made burgers, mmm), so I'm in an unusually good mood for this time of day.


Now, in exchange for listening to me whine, y'all can have some musics (I couldn't find the particular version I wanted, so you can have some other interpretations): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D0CCL3QYBc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiHS8Hf7Tb4
 
Never Knows Best said:
Good luck with that DR and tB.

I wish I had employment, but like, fucking mcdonalds doesn't even want me, so what do you do? Hahhaha, I still have a couple places left to apply to I guess, just difficult to work up motivation to do so when ya ran out of hope a long time ago.

I did have some delicious artichoke tea and polish cake as a dessert (dinner was home made burgers, mmm), so I'm in an unusually good mood for this time of day.


Now, in exchange for listening to me whine, y'all can have some musics (I couldn't find the particular version I wanted, so you can have some other interpretations): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D0CCL3QYBc&feature=related


Hey don't give up on your job search! I know one job that is easy as hell and hires all the time. I know because I used to do it...and getting those level 3 and 4 can up the pay and job options. Security...don't laugh serious it can be a pretty good paying gig and they are always hiring :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiHS8Hf7Tb4
Click to expand...


Hey don't give up on your job search! I know one job that is easy as hell and hires all the time. I know because I used to do it...and getting those level 3 and 4 can up the pay and job options. Security...don't laugh serious it can be a pretty good paying gig and they are always hiring :)
 
theotherside26 said:
Hey don't give up on your job search! I know one job that is easy as hell and hires all the time. I know because I used to do it...and getting those level 3 and 4 can up the pay and job options. Security...don't laugh serious it can be a pretty good paying gig and they are always hiring :)
Click to expand...

Is there any kind of training/certification you have to have before hand, or will they take you off the street?

Anyhow, I decided to stop this battle between head and heart and let the wise bicentennial quarter decide whether or not I should indulge in 4-meo-pcp this evening even though I did 4 times last week, and the quarter said I should do it, so I shall. =D (see, I practice what I preach about the" use coin tosses to make decisions" thing)
 
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