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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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Vox - sorry our schedules won't coincide when you're traveling to get the tests done. Would love to meet you someday. I hope all goes well for you.

n3o and Samadhi - I really believe in having family around. I know I have felt lost being away from mine, and I cannot imagine not having that support system. (Still not expecting, nor will I be anytime soon.) I think with a little communication with your respective partners, it will be resolved.

Mom's groups, doulas, and midwives have provided immense levels of support for the expectant mothers I have known. I think that meeting up with any of those would be a wonderful idea if either of you and your partners do decide to relocate.

As for PND, yeah, it's a risk. It is one I would take in order to have a healthy child - who knows, you might be so happy to live your dream that the biochemical issues are balanced out! Being under the care of a therapist is the best thing you can do (aside from the support of friends and family).

I guess this question can go here. My bestie is a partnered gay man who is HIV+. He would like to have a child with a woman now that his viral load is essentially nothing. He has a partnered lesbian friend who would like to have a child; the two plus their partners will raise the child together. He has heard about a procedure that is near-foolproof to cleanse the semen of HIV entirely, and all I can find on Google, etc., is that it requires artificial insemination after the cleansing. Is anyone familiar with this procedure? He's about to start calling fertility clinics to ask!

What's up with all of these clucky men ;)
 
n3o and samadhi: having your first born is a life altering experience and one that is best shared with the people youve always turned to for wisdom, assurance and that you trust and love dearly. its not a venture to be had alone. the best things in life are shared (good and bad moments inclusive). if you truly concern that you will suffer from PND and have an inner yearning for the support of your loved ones around you once extending your family; then definitely do it.

i would not have coped with the ups and downs of new parenthood without the support of my ever loving family network, nor replace the deep relations that were formed between us all with our child during those memory making moments.

do what feels right for YOU; its all any parent can do.

<3

...kytnism...:|
 
Yay I can feel our baby moving! :D It's just started this week and now I'm feeling him several times a day. Especially if I dare to lie on my stomach lol - immediate protest kicks! Everyone said it would feel like 'butterflies' or 'bubbles' at first, but (maybe because I was so late feeling anything at all) it feels more like a muscle twitch. At first I thought it was my own muscles, but it moves around too much, and I have realised it's our little boy <3
 
Conscious, isn't that just the warmfuzziest feeling ever? I LOVE that part of pregnancy!

n3o, that's rough, hun. Kids (and parents!), I think benefit greatly from being near family, and/or close friends that are the same as family. You can't build relationships like that overnight. I'm sure having kids in a new environment can be done, but I'll bet it's harder. There are times when I REALLY need the kind of support a family offers.

The ultrasound in Seattle ruled out the scary stuff, and I am SOOOO relieved! Our little guy is okay, and I am still able to birth with my midwife. Whew!

Weird thing -- my son apparently doesn't like flying any more than I do. He kicked the crap outta me, like, harder than ever before, one both flights. Odd.
 
Vox : I'm relieved and happy to hear that the ultrasound in Seattle went well and that your baby is ok. It must be a huge relief for you! :)

I had the morphology scan last Tuesday and the baby is a girl, which is what I thought she would be all along. Everything is measuring up normally and we got some great 3d shots of her doing some poses (haha), she's already quite photogenic (I bet every parent says this).

I'm trying to enjoy the pregnancy but am really looking forward to meeting my little girl properly. :D
 
xenocat said:
n3o and samadhi: having your first born is a life altering experience and one that is best shared with the people youve always turned to for wisdom, assurance and that you trust and love dearly. its not a venture to be had alone. the best things in life are shared (good and bad moments inclusive). if you truly concern that you will suffer from PND and have an inner yearning for the support of your loved ones around you once extending your family; then definitely do it.

i would not have coped with the ups and downs of new parenthood without the support of my ever loving family network, nor replace the deep relations that were formed between us all with our child during those memory making moments.

do what feels right for YOU; its all any parent can do.

<3

...kytnism...:|
Click to expand...

Thank you for the words, xenocat. It's definitely something we're both thinking about... we're in the process of researching properties to buy and we're including Vic, ACT & Qld in that search. Looking at the properties in Qld (and the gorgeous tropical gardens in a lot of them) makes me miss the northern state. My mum lives overseas (which will be bad enough when the time comes to have a baby) but i really want my dad, sister, nieces and nephews around me at the time. I'm also quite close to my cousins, one of which has 2 kids herself.
 
^^^BRISBANE!!!!!

I've said from the point children started being discussed that I would only do it in Brissie with my family (sister-in-law, aunts, cousins) around me. Here in Sydney is full of friends, but it's not the same, and while I love the boy's family, they're not people I'd turn to in difficult times.

We've compromised, saying the first few years, when I assume you need the most support, will be in Brisbane, and we can then look at moving elsewhere in the country. Quietly (though I'm sure he's totally across it) I'm hoping he'll be smitten with the city by then and we can stay forever.
 
My world would be so much brighter after bubbas if we were living in the same city! <3

How do you feel about it? Are you still wanting to move back to Brisbane when the time comes for bubs?
 
^ have just edited post above :)

Brisbane is definitely the plan within 5 years, for at least 5 years, then we'll see how things go.
 
Pop is really not a fan of the humidity up north and there is no way i'd have the fringe i do now if we did move ;) (even the extra humidity in Sydney made it go weird), but i've been looking at property in Brisbane and it's just making me really homesick... In saying all of this, it's hard because i know it's not something that Pop is really for, and i'm worried that i'd feel guilty for making him move somewhere that he wasn't completely comfortable. It's just that my family is up there, immediate and extended, and old friends who are practically family as well...

*sigh*
 
What do you all think about circumcising a baby boy? I think it seems kinda barbaric, but I'm not male. I have no idea what I would have wanted my parents to do. As a woman, I know that it doesn't make any difference to me, sexually, but how much is it going to matter to the boy? I could always wait and let him decide for himself later, but then it's a bigger, more traumatic surgery. Opinions?
 
Less than a week ago I read a commentary on this. I thought it was pretty well put together:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/emery.infant.circumcision/index.html

If I had a son he would be circumcised. My fiancee is Jewish and feels very strongly about the matter. If I remember right while he was a bluelighter he had some pretty epic arguments about it with fairnymph etc. I'm going to go try to dig up that thread from SLR.
 
AmorRoark said:
Less than a week ago I read a commentary on this. I thought it was pretty well put together:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/emery.infant.circumcision/index.html

If I had a son he would be circumcised. My fiancee is Jewish and feels very strongly about the matter. If I remember right while he was a bluelighter he had some pretty epic arguments about it with fairnymph etc. I'm going to go try to dig up that thread from SLR.
Click to expand...


I have the weakest, slimmest shimmer of a feeling about it. I would let my male partner decide what was the best course of action. I don't think men should say anything about my (hypothetical) abortion, and I don't want to get involved with their dicks. If he felt that our son should be snipped, so be it. If not, so be it.
 
These days it isn't a "snip". (I don't know about the Jews though, maybe it has to be a scalpel or a blunt stone for religious reasons). Now days they numb the foreskin with Emla then tie a plastic bell with a tight suture or cord. It just drops off within a couple of days. No blood, no crying. I was all ready to nurse my son for a couple of days but the little dude just fell asleep in my arms as normal that afternoon and wasn't upset or grizzly at all. We just chilled in front of the cricket all day as if nothing happened. Well Matty Hayden scored a century and some else took a hat trick but apart from that it was just a normal Test match. Cold beers and warm bottle for the win.
 
My cousin was circumsised when he was 19 and nearly died due to hemorrhaging after the surgery :\ This is not obviously the norm, but it's a far more serious surgery when you're an adult as opposed to the procedure that Busty has described above.
 
I kinda like the idea of boys 'looking like dad', especially when they're young. My husband is not, so our son won't be, but if my husband was I don't think I'd object. Although the idea of doing something that could cause pain to such a tiny bub does make me a bit squeamish :)

Vox, I'm so glad your scan came back all clear, that's fantastic news!

And Miss Peks, congrats on your baby girl :)
 
I moved halfway to the other side of the world of my family base 4 months before I got pregnant the first time. It was actually a lot easier on me to not be around my family LOL but i think i might be a special case. I found a family here with other mothers/friends/familes. My biological family likes to get too into my life. To each there own though.
 
Alright, it has been a while since I've checked this thread but I plan on returning to BL as a regular again starting now :P

So, I am officially 16 weeks along as of today (Sunday, May 1st). I had my first ultrasound several weeks ago and the baby measured 8.2cm. S/he is probably about 5" at this point, maybe larger! I also believe I can feel some slight movements. I know we saw the baby dancing all over the damn place during the ultrasound so I'm not all THAT surprised but at the same time it's kinda early to be feeling movement so I'm not sure that's what it is. It basically feels like slight flutters here and there, exactly where my uterus is.

I am also "officially" showing now. This photo was taken about a week ago (15 weeks):

15weeks.jpg


Don't mind the crappy photo, just mind the belly!

And here's the ultrasound photo!

ultrasound.jpg


I apologize in advance if I already posted the ultrasound in this thread. I know I posted it in another forum but I can't remember if it was added in here too so forgive me if it's a repeat :P

Anyway, two more "updates":
1. I constantly have to pee now. I swear this baby is dancing ON my bladder and it's driving me NUTS. It sucks because when I go, I usually barely have to pee but it feels like I've been holding it for hours all the same. I've been pissing about twice an hour for the past week (except during sleep, then it goes down to "just" a few times a night).
2. I hopefully get to find out the sex on May 11th! I will be 18 weeks and 3 days along so we should be able to tell by then! So excited...

Okay, now to read all of you guys' updates!
 
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