Been 4 years on heavy doses. My memory recall is shot, I'm considerably less intelligent than I had been before this, and all this interferes with my social, scholary, and personal life. I am finally ready to get off the damn things. There are simply no beneficial effects to it once you've got that tolerance maxed out and the doctor (that is, if you're obtaining it legally) can't write larger scripts without the DEA on his ass. I have just as much, if not more, anxiety than I did when I started. I did manage to quit for several months but started up again. And despite me being adamant about quitting, I find some kpins missing from their baggie I put them in the morning after I went a bit overboard with drinking last night. Hopefully that will just be a one-time thing. Can't expect something as serious as this sort of predicament to be resolved without a good balance between optimism/hope as not to be cocky about it and being realistic as to not be discouraged.
^^^^
Yeah i'm worried about being on clonazepam for an extended amount of time. I really hope you get on top of your issues and perhaps consider a change of medication?? My GP isn't though. as i said a few weeks ago i'm scripted 50mg a week, but when i last posted i was reducing myself down to around 5-4mg a day. I went to see the GP again and we we're mainly talking about increasing my triazolam dose, and while i was using my persuasive skill to get him to script me the whole bottle of triazolam a week (we only get the .125mg here) i suggested that i'd consider to start reducing the clonazepam...... which i've been doing myself anyway, he immediately made it clear that he does not want me to go lower than 25 2mg clon's a week while saying that he wants me to remain stable. Although i could have insisted, i didn't need to as my goal was to get scripted 7 .125mg of triazolam at night. I've even given both to my ?GF? on occasions and managed to reduce myself down to 2 mg of clonazepam a day in the morning and out of the last 3 weeks i've used tirazolam probably only 5 nights. 10, as in 1.25mg of triazolam was the most i've tried, but i really do want to be off the clonazepam as i feel that it's blocking the true triazolam effect. I honestly thought it would be a lot harder to reduce on clonaz but i feel fine with just 2mg a day.
So my GP is essentially happy to keep me on a high amount of clonazepam, but not as comfortable with giving me the hypnotic at that dose, but he knows i'm going through a difficult time in my life so he's saying it's fine for now. After reading a lot on nitrobenzodiazepines i really DON"T want to permanently fuck my memory and other cognitive ability's so this is the reason why i am reducing myself and with the hypnotic i just want to save for when i'm completely off all benzo's. Clonaz is quite popular, but i hesitate to trade or divert them and if i do it's only minimal because i know they will come in handy later in life, i've only ever diverted some 4 a little weed but i'm trying not to smoke. Right now i just received a clean blood test and i know i have my health. for 3 fucking months i thought i was cheated out of it by someone and by being an idiot and using H for the first time in a long time.
I don't have anxiety issues in general, and the irony is that i've only ever had anxiety attacks when i smoke weed. I really don't need benzo's anymore now that i'm fine and know i've got the rest of my life ahead of me. My attitude to drugs in general has to change and it is. Theses last 3 months have been a living hell, but my affection for opiates and oxycodone in particular is strong, but thats another issue i hope to address soon. for now, and while this GP is being so generous, i will build up a stockpile and have already began to give my mother both clonaz and triaz to lock away in her safe.....as i do with my monthly OC script which she gives me on request when i switch from buprenorphine. I'm not trying to brag or gloat but i ''will'' get flunitrazepam off this GP, and i think i have the perfect argument to get it. we'll see, and there will be a picture on a fav album but for now i'm happy to be getting these vast amounts, and i'm happy that i don't abuse them.
I know a friend that i recently met through church (originally thru NA) and she is a lot older than me and suffers from anxiety and especially while she's giving up cigarettes, she's 37 and her gp won't even give her diazepam for fucks sake. I have given her 8 half tablets of clonazepam and one triazolam for night. she's benzo naive, not so much literally but she hasn't a tolerance, so i've strictly told her.... well i feel like a GP here, i told her how strong they are relative to diazepam and have just given her 4 2mg clonaz already cut in half, so she's to take 1mg in the morning, and i gave her 7 triazolam tabs, one to be taken before bed. I made it very clear to her and that was today so i'm hoping that it really helps her, and i only offered when she told me her story about how fucked her local GP is and it's only 1 weeks worth until she can sort out whether she thinks benzodiazepines are beneficial to her as she's not only trying to quite cigarettes. I'm also happy to refer her to a GP that will listen. Will either talk to her tomorrow or see her at church on Sunday and see how she's going
anyway i thought i'd brighten this thread up with a funny photo i took while counting my excess

oh and 7 nocte m.d.u.

i still dream of Orgonon
right now i'm very happy to be free and alive
