^Bupe also seems to have triggered something in my brain that puts me off full agonists, especially short acting ones like heroin (which used to be my DOC)... But with that said, my honeymoon phase with Bupe is well over with, and I had a binge recently where I became fond of benzos, during which I also took a bunch of different full-agonists (codeine, heroin, morphine, methadone, ketobemidone). What I realized was that as soon as I reached the peak of effect with the full-agonist opiates, I would be left completely dissatisfied and felt like I wasted my money, and impatient for the opiates to leave my system so that I could re-dose my subs, even though I'm through my honeymoon phase with them I still prefer Bupe over H... Anyways, to put it short, give me a long acting, low dose drug that rocks my boat without the acute wds of full agonits opiates, and I'm good, otherwise, I don't really want to bother... and be careful with benzo's, a few weeks of uninterrupted use/abuse and you're left living solely in the moment - which can be a good thing if not drug induced and if your memory isn't fucked to pieces, which is the case with most benzos at recreative doses - back to the point... you're left in the moment, looking for the next pile of pills to munch.
Speaking of which... my honeymoon phase is over, so I seek satisfaction other places, like by smoking weed or getting benzos (although that is hopefully a closed chapter)... And I am near the end of my taper off Bupe... My point is, that I want to get off Bupe and opiates, but I don't think that I am entirely ready to make the jump, even though I hit zero in just about two weeks. I don't think the clinic is willing to prescribe Tramadol, for example, or benzos, once I have become 'drug-free' and my normal doctor doesn't know that I am in ORT and would probably wonder a little if I came by asking for strong pain medication without really having 'pain'... Kratom and Kava are illegal where I live, and it is almost impossible to get a prescription for any meds in my case... Is there anything, legit, that any of you can recommend, to make the jump easier? Loperamide is an expensive but OTC option, but not exactly the route I want to take. I think I have an anxiety problem in terms of staying clean, and I am looking for an acute way of treating this anxiety, for the first couple of weeks/months of being off Bupe...