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In need of support and advice :/ please.

thizzin' since 98

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
118
so im in need of some help and advice more then ever at this point in my life.
im desperate for help and encouragement.

so ive been clean for just over a month now from drugs and alcohol, but ive never felt worse. from novemeber. 5 2010 to jan. 22 2011, ive consumed around 30-40 pills containing MDxx High, the last pill being a blue rolex, which changed me...

its been a month now of taking 5-htp pills, eating fruits, bananas, trying to stay positive, taking multivitamins, and as of 3 days ago, i began taking xanax, because of the most intense anxiety attacks my friends have ever seen me have. ive had multiple suicidal thoughts, and i have crying spells, more than 2 or 3 times a day almost everyday for a month now.

should i go to the doctor? give it time? im desperate for advice. i constantly feel zoned put or spaced out, emotionless, never happy, and have anxiety super bad, this all just hit me over the past month after that last pill. i really need a helping hand. i cant continue living like this :'(

UPDATE: I stopped taking Xanax, and am trying to control my anxiety by reading and breathing techniques. I'm also taking SAM-e, a 'natural anti-depressant' that is suppose to rebuild serotonin and dopamine receptors. I'm also taking a vitamin b complex, and omega 3,6,9 pills as well.

I'm feeling somewhat better, but recently i've been getting lightheaded at random times, so intense to were I almost faint. I also have trouble focusing and feel like i'm floating, and on drugs still :/ and i have very loud tinnitus, that has noticeably gotten worse as well.

Also, while listen to music, singing, and sometimes at random, I get that weird bottom roll, goosebump, tingling in the back of your head feeling that you have while rolling.

All input, advice, support is so much appreciated. Thank you all so much in advance.
 
Keep up the good work OP. It seems that you're willing to do what needs to be done to reach a full recovery and have already taken steps towards that goal. I don't have that much experience with your problem but Bluelight is definitely the place to find some help and support. One thing I do know is that I have always been amazed at the healing power of the human body including the brain.

Best of luck!
 
Stop taking 5htp for starters and any and all other drugs or whatever that are not prescribed.

See a doctor and be totally honest with him.
 
I've been like that for 2 months now with all the same symptoms except for the crying and suicidal thoughts. For me it seems to be getting better at a hardly noticeable rate.
 
I've had to deal with the tinnitus thing before. I ended up reading about something called patulous eustachian tube or something.

Basically when you're rolling so frequently your body is needing to burn lots of fat for energy, so the fat around your inner ear gets burned away and the tube expands and remains open making that annoying ass sound where you can hear yourself; like right after you yawn.

If you put your head between your legs it goes away for a bit.


It's gonna take a little more than a month to get back to completely normal, but piracetam could help speed things along. It's been an amazing supplement for me, something I'd recommend for everyone from the dylsiexc to the etarded.
 
Dude I have had (and to a certain extent am still going through) every one of your symptoms; loss of personality, confusion, panic attacks, anxiety, withdrawal, feeling thick, not having same emotions towards people, headaches.. you name it... You need to stop taking 5-htp and all these other drugs because they mask the problems (this is coming from a neurologist I saw last week)and can hinder recovery. Fruit and vitaims are good and all but dont alter your diet too much, fatty food and meat is needed by your body just as much. Like mazdan says go and speak to your doctor and tell him the compete truth. You will get better with time. Trust me. Its been over three months for me and I'm noticing some improvements. I'm not saying that you haven't done damage, you may well have done some minor damage. But the brain is very resilient and re-wires itself to make up for damaged neurons or lost cells (this takes up to six months) A lot of your symptoms sound psychosomatic rather than permanent damage, and heavy doses of drugs can cause mild PTSD like symptoms.
 
youre gonna be ok just keep eating healthy and maybe excersise, but most important is distracting your mind so that youre not constantly thinking about how its never going to get better. Just go do stuff, be outside and have a bunch of fun that doesnt involve drugs. Get laid that always makes me happy
 
Oh, and I'd advise against 'seeing your doctor'. What do you think doctors want? Yep, that's right, money, not your health. I'd only go that route if you wanna get loaded up on SSRI's and numerous other bullshit drugs that will make you a slave to the Big Pharm for life.
 
yes it was! very thick, had a few specs and dots, and the blue dye came off on your hand very fast, i ended up throwing up straight blue and green puke, almost 7 times, it was so intense :/ blue and green little pieces everywhere, dye all over my fingers.
 
mm first off welcome to bluelight:)

second- stop taking 5HTP, u shouldnt use it more than 3 days in a row or it messes with ur dopamine levels. its good that you stopped drug use, and your feeling should get better as time moves on. try hitting the gym or even going a jog or walk.

if ur REALLY desperate, try drinking green tea whenever you get anxiety, it has an ingredient that helps calm you down. i drink it all the time.

i also take magnesium citrate to help with anxiety, idunno why but that stuff works wonders.

best of luck to ya bro, keep ur head up
 
I'm pretty sure they'rse like 2 threads going around on BL right now about how those blue rolex's just fucked people in the domepiece
 
thank you, im very happy I joined bluelight. lots of friendly people.

shit, wtf is a pipe? :/ if you guys want, I also posted a thread in Trip Reports, it goes into detail how I felt while under the influence.
 
dang, i'm really nervous now. what are the effects of piperazine on the brain? is it permanent? can someone explain more on pipe?
 
^ they're de-worming drugs for horses or something. They give you a sort of 'tease' feeling that makes you keep eating more but just feeling shittier and never rolling. They're not all bad; here's a trip report I typed a little while back on a positive experience.

They're super cheap and shady dealers make lots of profit. Don't worry though, I ate like 20 orange supermans a few months ago and I was fine after a couple weeks. That being said, I have a very healthy diet and walk daily, and also take several supplements, piracetam included.
 
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