for everyone who has said to try a rehab i get that idea but i called the best rehab in sydney that specialises in this specific type of addiction and was told by them that they will not accept me because i use too much for them to be able to help me at alll
you may have hit the peak, usually, the physical symptoms might have diminished but the real bad craving would hit me by day 5, even though the physical symptoms were better. The most successful I have been at staying clean was 98'-2002. Like you I tried to get into an inpatient program but I had already started methadone, took 60 mg for 3 days. Kaiser wouldn't let me go inpatient and the Haight Ashbury Free medical center had a policy then of not working with you until you had been 30 days off methadone.
The Kaiser treatment guy said he would consider my case and made a follow up appointement- now I know that it has to do with he was testing my willingness.
What I did do was go to an NA meeting which is free. And I kept going to NA meetings 4 sometimes 5 times a day. I got really connected. Within 24 hrs the obsession to use was lifted. I kept going and their were alot of young people and because the new commer is the most important person- support- The shortcourse of methadone kept the symptoms tolerable without having a protracted withdrawl- 21 days I believe is to long.
If your tired of reading skip to the last paragraph.
But the cornerstone was meetings- for me it was the last house on the block. I then learned about service, getting a sponsor, support group, the steps. I went to a 3-4 meetings a day 1st month, hung with recovering addicts. It was like I was reborn- I was on a pink cloud for 90 days. Iwas in this beautiful city going to meetings in diffrent parts of the Bay and everything looked beautiful and I felt reborn. Imoved to San Jose after 3 months out of necessity- had been staying with my cousin. When I moved they had the NA world convention which was awsome, but it was only 1 hour from the city I was still driving to meetings in SF and the East Bay. Began getting a support group in the south bay (san Jose). I crashed off the pink cloud and went into a deep depression by about month 4. Part of it was situational- San Jose was considered uncool, part of it was a new support group, part of it was the PAWS. I started excercized and went to 20 meetings a week the first 6 months about 50/50 south bay/ my original groups. Kept my home group in San Francisco. Basically was going to school, 1-2 meetings a day and went back to school, then I got a job and was going to 1 a day. This was the first year. I went through a few sponsors and did dervice, mostly young person committee stuff.
Then after 3.5 years I relapsed. I relapsed, I think because of 2 major reasons- I stoped after the 7th step. Service stoped being about carrying the message to the newcommer and about my own ego- hanging out with my friends. I went on a painful 6 year run and getting completely spiritually on track even though I'm not on meds that aren't Rx, my spiritual condition is far from what it was those first few years- but the beauty is every day I'm alive I get another chance- still go to meetings 4 days a week but I have Rxs to tapper. To succeed you have to change radically and the change has to be ongoing. Looking back those were the best years of my life.
But forget all this- when your well enough my best suggestion is to go to a 12 step meeting as soon as your well enough and share an SOS share. Then take it one day at a time and follow suggestions- your chances will improve remarkably, just don't use between meetings. If you can fit multiple meetings in a day- its worked for me and many when formal treatment isn't an option. If you do relapse go to meetings anyway- my position is you get hope and restoration to sanity occurs, albeit at a slower level. Just be honest- I keep too many secrets these days.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
