a little help and advice on friend

[tiggerific]

Any mods please feel free to move this if it is not quite where it should be

For years my friend has been smoking hash and over the last few years has became really quite bad with paranoid delusions and recently been diagnosed with schitzophrenia.
It has been really bad and some of her worst behaviour has been over the last few months, what I was wanting to ask anyone, has anyone had experience of this and as a friend what can I do to help, or is there anything I should watch out for as I am now finding myself being on edge round her all the time watching out for the slightest little thing.
if you could maybe point me in the right direction.

Some of the things that have happened recently include phoning a friend over then hitting her on the back of a head with a shovel when she walked in the door, putting all her belongings in the garden and setting fire to them, trying to gas herself and walking into the sea and just standing there.

We have been friends and neighbours for over 30 years, and I do not want to not be her friend now just because there are health problems, but I am finding it so difficult.

 

[Stonedface]

Well shit, she should probably be put on a med or something idk. How often did she smoke? I'm sure everyday but how much. I don't think bud can do that to someone it's just gatta be in her jeans to have it.
Just be her friend like how you have been for 30 yrs but if she is acting violently like that you have no choice but to be cautious around her or at least until she is stable again. Sorry to hear that :/ that would suck

 

[Stonedface]

After reading over the stuff she did again I'd tell her to get stable but in a Friendly way and if she doesent I would avoid her because that's just not right to hit someone over the head with a shovel that's sone serious shit.

 

[tiggerific]

we all smoked a lot, it might be in her genetic make up as well, but the docs are saying defo down to weed, as you can see thats why I need help or advice as I am getting to the stage where I dont want to be around her in case she does get violent, she is on meds, but her personality is a bit different, like she does not want to talk, a couple of us spoke to the doctor and I know these meds can take sometime to work, but it is stressful, for her, family and friends.

 

[Stonedface]

Ya I'm sorry about that hopefully someone can give you some good advise. So the docs are saying it is from weed? I didn't understand that part from your last post. That's something that kinda conserns me. I don't want that to happen to me lol

 

[childofthenight]

hahahaha in her "jeans" sorry that made my morning... yeah sounds pretty rough she might need meds dude

 

[Sega420]

if the docs are saying its "definitely down to cannabis", then they arent that smart.
cannabis doesnt cause mental illness. it can be a catalyst though.
especially with heavy use in someone who shouldnt be using it.

what is her family history with mental health, did she have any problems before? (years ago) etc etc

but aye, if she's flipped her shit and gone to loonball mode (dont take that wrong), make sure she doesnt take ANY drugs - legal or illegal (as in alcohol n weed etc)
until she is better. if she gets better. all you can really do in this situation is sit tight, and hope for the best.
also i'd make sure she doesnt own any more shovels or heavy blunt objects.

 

[smokeweed69]

if the docs are saying its "definitely down to cannabis", then they arent that smart.
cannabis doesnt cause mental illness. it can be a catalyst though.
especially with heavy use in someone who shouldnt be using it.

what is her family history with mental health, did she have any problems before? (years ago) etc etc

but aye, if she's flipped her shit and gone to loonball mode (dont take that wrong), make sure she doesnt take ANY drugs - legal or illegal (as in alcohol n weed etc)
until she is better. if she gets better. all you can really do in this situation is sit tight, and hope for the best.
also i'd make sure she doesnt own any more shovels or heavy blunt objects.

+1 on that. weed is def not the cause! that docs a retard if you ask me. it HAD to be in the genes. I would say, if theres no recent mental health history, then go far back in the family line. i bet theres something down the line.

that is a super shitty situation, but if you truly wanna keep the friendship safe, you have to sit in the sidelines and hope she gets better. theres really nothing you can do other than that when it comes to someone elses mental health. if it ran in the family, it was inevitable to happen. nothing you could have done, or could do. basically, someone (a family member of hers) should be over there caring for her. making sure theres nothing dangerous in the house that she could harm herself or someone else with. sit tight bud, and i wish you the best! its gunna be a hard one

 

[dokomo]

Schizophrenia is an organic and (as far as we can tell) highly genetic disease. Environmental factors (including drug use) can act as a trigger for the disease, but I suspect that the high correlation between drug use and schizophrenia is due to self-medication during the early stages of the disease.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, I know how confusing and difficult this is for families and friends. The best thing you can do as a friend is to continue to treat her as close as you can to how you did before she was diagnosed. Schizophrenia makes it very difficult to discern what is reality and what is simply not real.

Medication as well as therapy are needed, to treat the symptoms of the disease and teach coping mechanisms for it. It is ALWAYS rough at first until a patient becomes stabilized on the exact combination and dosage level of medication that works for them, but most patients do become stabilized.

There will be times your friend sees, hears, or believes things that are not real. Remember that you don't have to deny or affirm their experience, but sometimes its best to say something along the lines of "I understand that you're experiencing this, but I am not seeing things this way."

I'd highly recommend this book. Its information about specific treatments is somewhat outdated now, but its an excellent guide for family members and friends struggling to understand the disease, and what they can do.

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

There will be times your friend sees, hears, or believes things that are not real. Remember that you don't have to deny or affirm their experience, but sometimes its best to say something along the lines of "I understand that you're experiencing this, but I am not seeing things this way."

Liking this suggestion - totally.

I've never had to do this, but hopefully, I can do it well if ever I have to deal with this - for them to see that you don't experience things the same way - this will kinda make them see that you're not out to get them and stifle them, but just that you don't share the same experiences...

Ya I'm sorry about that hopefully someone can give you some good advise. So the docs are saying it is from weed? I didn't understand that part from your last post. That's something that kinda conserns me. I don't want that to happen to me lol

Sounds like ganja has brought out her inner demons.

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN TO YOU.

Only people with these things lying dormant inside them already have them pop up because of ganja.

In a sick way I think the herb shows these people earlier that they are destined to be mentally ill - this makes it easier to handle this sort of thing with medication/staying away from drugs (excluding opiates/Indica hashish possibly), and making sure they are extra careful to live healthily.

Obviously, it could have taken absolutely yeaaaars to come out naturally - but that's kind of my point, I'd personally rather learn if I was insane, and prone to paranoid schizophrenia earlier in my life, before considering having a family etc, than if I already had a wife/kids etc and it came out then.

Stay a friend to this person, encourage them to take it easy, making sure to only talk about such things when they're lucid.

Have someone who really knows they're talking about accompany you sometime, and meet her in a neutral zone - somewhere where she won't feel threatened, but where she can easily go home if she gets agitated by the conversations direction, but leaves you safe from getting hit with a shovel or stabbed with a knife from the kitchen etc.

Keep us all updated please!

 

[tiggerific]

they have looked at family but her father died years ago and there was no-one on that side to give a detailed medical history, as far as they can go back on her mothers side there is nothing.

just now we are all getting her to come out on walks with us, and none of our group of friends are having a j when she is about or anything else for that matter, instead of going to the pub we are meeting in a cafe, we are all trying our best, but it is difficult when she has had a personality transplant.

Sorry meant to say the doctor said it was down to her smoking that triggered it rather than caused, she said it would certainly have made her more likely to have this happen and as severe as it was.

I dont know what meds she is on, but there is talk of her going into hospital for a bit till things calm down, and she feels more settled in herself as you can imagine she is not feeling right either.
I think she does understand we are trying but this in the midst of what she is going through is not the best of timing.

The day the whole village knew was when she went into the local shop marching and singing onward christian soldiers whilst swinging her bag round and knocking all the shelves over saying that this place contains the devil we must get him out and insisting on burning the shop owner. The worst of this has happened in the last 2 months.

Thanks for the tips about encouraging nothing at all, keeping her away from areas but at the same time close enough to home in case she feels she has to go.
Still I do feel bad about it, I know I am being different but want to support her. I did cook her dinner and take it round, I wanted to chap her door and run away but managed to stay there and say here I was thinking of you but need to get back for the kids as my excuse not to go into the house. shitty situation.