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Cheating blamed on X

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Kiralives

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Joined
Jan 21, 2011
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5
My story...

Friday I went to a party with my friend and took one molly. She took a couple.

Saturday my boyfriend and I took one each and I had my girlfriend there who also took a couple, it was her birthday and we decided to throw her a birthday weekend at our place.

After partying all day/night, we went to bed Sunday (we had a big bed so we just slept together) and after some time I couldn't fall asleep, just laid there, but than I heard some weird noises, sounded like moaning, I flipped out, jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and they were having sex. They were frozen, starring at me in disbelief. I screamed a bit, stormed out to cool off came back and demanded to know why they would do that to me and they claimed I was hallucinating, that they weren't do anything and even went to bed with their clothes on (when I saw them they were both naked).

I doubt I would hallucinate that, but figured I would post here and ask people's opinions. I since broke up with said boyfriend and no longer friends with the girl. I cornered her and question her and she showed all the signs of lieing - crossing her legs, turned away from me, touching her ear constantly, changed her story constantly, wouldn't look at me, etc. At one point even she stated "what did you expect." But never directly admitted to doing anything. And before said incident, even made the comment, how she loved the fact I had a rich boyfriend who showered me with gifts and I got to live with him for free and how much she wanted it.

I feel like they manipulated me and are trying to blame it on the mollies, saying it was mixed with something else and that is why I flipped out so much. I have done them before and never hallucinated, but I have read that some people have hallucinated so I have some doubt and that is why I am posting. I know what I saw and it was pretty clear, but it still bothers me to this day.

I have taken mollies before and when I was my boyfriend we did them for three months (on weekends). Before I got with him I haven't done anything for three years, when I did it was also just for a few months (when I first got into it). I don't do them often and I haven't done them since we broke up (don't plan too). This occurred over a month ago and to this day he denies he did anything.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply.
 
Im sorry...

Your friends sound like assholes!

How could they do that to you? While you were in the same bed? Did they think you were stupid.

All in all this is no loss....MDMA brings out people for who they really are...and if this is the people they really are then it doesnt sound like they were decent "friends" to have around.

It would have been one thing if she had asked to join in...

Best Bet:

Lay off the drugs, grab a Six Pack of Bud light, and find a better crowd of people.
 
Its possible you close eye visualised it and that it didnt happen at all but I doubt it was a hallucination.

Its also possible it really happenned.
 
It sounds unlikely that this would be a hallucination from MDMA, but I would imagine that such an experience would be quite upsetting. Hope you're able to work through things alright :)
 
First off, I'm sorry that happened to you, that's horrible. I have to say though, there is a chance you did visualize it in your head. I've seen some crazy things after rolling, especially while trying to fall asleep. I've even had what I thought were actual conversations with people, only to find out when I talked to them later that they never happened.

I'm not saying it didn't happen, it very well could have, as messed up as that is. I'm just saying that 'E-dreaming' happens too. You should go back if you can and rethink every detail you can remember, and talk it over with him. I can't imagine that your boyfriend and best friend would do that right in front of you. That's just my opinion.
 
I'm really sorry that happened to you, I know exactly how you feel. Its not nice to be cheated.

The way I would approach this is to consider the fact that you will never ever know for sure. That in itself is cause for a relationship to end, and should it go on, you will spend the rest of it constantly thinking about whether it happened or not, about whether you were betrayed by someone who is still pretending and lying to you. Trust me, I've been there, and its not a nice feeling, and you would do better to cut loose now. At least then you can console yourself with the thought that you didn't take any shit and you weren't somebody's fool. If you went on, you are likely to cause yourself far more emotional damage because it will feel fresh for a long time. Every time you look at them, you will wonder. Every time you have sex, you will be put off by the thought. Don't fuck them off because they might not be good friends, fuck them off because to not do so would cause you way more stress than its worth.

And as for your question itself, I find it unlikely you hallucinated, but it isn't unknown. I have had hallucinations myself, at high doses. Either way, you are better off without them.
 
PureFire said:
've even had what I thought were actual conversations with people, only to find out when I talked to them later that they never happened.
Click to expand...

This has def happened to me too when I have taken too too many. I have had whole conversations with people that didnt exist or were never there in the first place and had to have my friends snap me out of it.

One time I had a conversation with a girl sitting on my bed upstairs and she kept telling me that everyone downstairs was waiting for me and I should go check on them...then she started calling for them and they never came.

Eventually my friend downstairs comes looking for me cause its been 10 min and I went upstairs to take a piss and got distracted in the den, then my friend finds me:

Mastersplinter - "There you are! We have been looking all over for you!" "Why didnt you come when she called you?"

Evan - "Who?"

I look over....didnt even catch her name, but she was gone.

MasterSplinter - "I sweare she was right here...did she go down stairs to the party?"

Evan - "Who are you talking about man? Its just me and you...You went upstairs to take a piss remember?"

I still remember the conversation with that girl...Crazy shit...especially with the moar speedier pills.

However,

But Im willing to bet that this did happen. The smell of sex never lies and they were naked... :\

fuck em.

hate to admit Ive been the asshole who has cheated before, but them and then the people who are even more like me can be totally selfish when they are not looking or forget why they came there in the first place sometime.

good luck...
 
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Man you'd think there's no way it could have been fake, but shit you don't really know for sure. Damn that's a tough one. It's all going to come down to whether or not you truly believe them or not. Are they shit friends in the first place from past experiences, or are they solid as fuck people where this would be the most shocking thing on earth if it happened?

How good do you remember the other surrounding details, were you in a pretty normal state of mind at that time? I don't think this is something you hallucinate, but more so something in a dream state.

Heh, maybe roll with them all again and they'll tell you the truth. Let's pretend they are telling the truth, then shit this would cost you your boyfriend and your friend.

I say it's somewhat unlikely they are telling the truth, but only going off the variables given. Do you have past episodes of seeing things happen that turned out to be unreal? Were they laying in bed right next to you, and already down from rolling? If so you'd think they'd be smart enough to at least leave the room.

If you three were all laying in the exact same bed, and your friends were pretty much sober, it seems way fucking unlikely they'd start banging. Unless they're stupid, there's no chance you're going to succeed at banging a girl in your bed, with your girlfriend also in the bed, and not get caught. If your friends are fucking retards and slow in real life then maybe. Even if they started touching a little, you'd take that shit outside shortly after.

Shit that's a tough one, can't really make a sure conclusion. At first I thought they were lying, but now I don't know.
 
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I'm really sorry. Something like that happened to me not to long ago and I know its not fun. But still it wasn't the x that made him do it. Nobody does anything they don't want to. Even if your like cleaning or something you're doing it for whatever the end result is.
 
I'm really sorry to hear this.
From what you wrote, I personally don't believe you were hallucinating. It sounds just like plain ol' dumb decisions while under the influence. However, rolling was no excuse for that situation to even happen in the first place. I've done it enough times to know that you're fully aware of the choices you're making and the difference between right and wrong.
Keep your chin up though, while it may take some time for your heart to heal, it eventually will.
 
This girl was my friend for five years, but not a very good friend, more like a party friend. All of her boyfriends were actually taken from other girls, she had a tendecy to go for guys with money, and if they were taken, it didn't matter. Basically she would evaulate how they were around her girlfriends, and once she saw they were "approved" she snatched them up. She never did it to me, because I never had good boyfriends, so I never thought much of it, we only hung around to party, and that in itself was rare. I guess I figured I didn't have to worry about it...

Over all I would agree that mdma brings out the truth in people. My boyfriend was quite horrible when he was on it, it was really fun at first but than he wanted to do it all the time. He's a bit of a hermit so he never goes out, so I was expected to bring it, along with any people for a house party. And if house parties ever failed or things didn't go his way, he blamed a lot on me and would flip out. The last few months of our relationships were the worst times of my life. Just like the party we threw for my girlfriend, I knew he was interested in her, he told her she could invite anyone she wanted. Than when all these people showed up, I was blamed for inviting them and was expected to throw them out.

Now that I think about it, they dissapeared quite a lot during the party and I spent most of my time trying to calm people down who were tripping too hard, cleaning up, etc, since I was the hostess and he wouldn't do anything. Then I got yelled at for paying too much attention to other people, than to my boyfriend. Even all my friends agreed that he was being quite rude towards me and seemed more interested in catering to my friend than he did to me.

I seriously felt like I Was being set up the entire weekend by her. I did go back and talk to him about it and his story changes OFTEN about what happened. I haven't done anything for over a month, and he still does mdma every weekend, so he is going through the rapid mood swings, depression stages, memory loss, etc. I asked him days, again in a week, again in a couple weeks, the same question "what were you two doing next to me when I was trying to fall asleep?" One time he answered, nothing. Next time he answered, just talking. Than he admitted they were fooling around but didn't have sex. Then after that, he said they were fully clothed and were trying to sleep. When I confronted him recently that his stories kept changing, he than called me crazy and said its the drugs that are messing with my head, that how dare I call him a liar, and that "this is bullshit, I am fed up with your drama, leave me alone." But I haven't done anything in a while.... so I think he is more nuts than I am. But you know that feeling, when you are right, and another person tries to defeat you on those feelings, and you can't get them to admit it? Its the most frustrating feeling in the world!

All three of us were still pretty messed up when we tried to go to sleep. So I think not only were they not thinking straight (I know I was off during the weekend, too much partying), I truly believed they felt they could get away with having sex next to me. They were trying to be all quiet about it, but like you say, the smell of sex and slight groaning can't be covered. Sometimes I think I hallucinated, other times I don't, mostly because from what I heard, smelled, and viewed, cannot be all decieving at the same time? And the fact, how could I hallucinate something so vivid?

Also, I would not be turned off by the idea of a threesome, I just have never done it before and we have talked about it, but I wanted to start off slow and when I was sober, steps and what not, its a big deal. I think this has a big play in it, that he wanted to have sex and saw that I was too "out of it" from the mdma and decided to have sex with whoever he chose, whether or not I was involved. Nice way to introduce someone to it, more like the way he went about it makes me sneer at the thought of it now.

If I was closed eyed visualizing it, I would of visualized them having sex. But the fact they did say I shot up out of bed and starred at them - so at that moment I was awake. Even when I had the conversation with them afterwards, they looked so guilty and were scrambiling in the room before I entered. Just like the conversation I had with her, she was all about me leaving and cooling off, and that she would "stay behind." Any REAL friend would of left if they saw how upset I was IMO.

As for my mood, I was pretty tired, had a rough weekend and just wanted to go to sleep. I am often hugged from behind by my boyfriend so I was waiting for him to come cuddle with me, so I was thinking why he wasen't, and since I couldn't fall asleep, was about to roll over and see where he was, but I heard the noises first. The fact too that she was in the middle of the bed... he completly hid behind her. The way they were posistioned were on their sides. My boyfriend and I would have sex like that before/mess around when people were around to see if we could get away with it without anyone noticing. So I know exactly what he was doing when I stood up and saw them in the same posistion.

As for the girl, she refuses to speak to me even though I have tried to message her (she owes me money lol). And my boyfriend (well x now), when I ask him if he has talked to her, again I get different responses depending upon when I ask him, and just like the question I asked above, I am called crazy when I said his responses change. First, its nothing. Than its yea I talked to her but only about the boots she "left" behind. Yea, we only talked about you. No we haven't talked. Were Facebook friends only (WTF lol you added her?).

I told him to quit the drugs, its obviously not doing him well, thats why I have stopped them. They are fun once or twice around people who are laid back, but he turns everything into drama.

I feel like he has betrayed me, whether or not he slept with her, the way he went about that weekend, and the months before that weekend, were pretty pitiful, so I do feel a lot better they are both out of my life. But I still have lingering feelings I am trying to get over.

SOrry for the long post, its just driving me nuts. >.<
 
You were not hallucinating. If neither one of them had ever lied to you or done anything sketch before, then sure, it would be all you. But obviously that's not the case. I'm sorry, I also know how hard it is to have someone lie to your face and never admit it. When you deal with a psycho, you start acting crazy too. Getting away from them is the only answer.
 
That was a well written story. Thanks for sharing, I feel really bad for that situation happening. That super sucks, but you know he didn't have strong enough morals for you. I'm sure you'll find someone who is better!

I think its super lame that you had to basically cater to the party and stuff by yourself even though its his house. It should be a sign there slightly. Things run their course. I host parties quite often and couldn't tell you how much it'd be nice to have a girlfriend that actually would help with cleaning and guest problems.(none have yet)

But anyhow, stay strong girl. And good advice, doing mdma every weekend is definitely not a very good/healthy choice. Possibly even contributing to the degradation of his morals and him being ok with cheating on you.
 
Thanks everyone, everyone's responses has helped greatly. I have been reliving the moments of that weekend and its been driving me nuts. I know I had my friends inputs, but its also good to hear from people outside the circle.

OMG You don't know HOW MUCH it relieves me to hear someone say that me catering to the party was a good thing. I spent so much time taking care of others during a party, cleaning, etc. and been yelled at my boyfriend every time for it. I had broken up so many fights as well, prevented fights, etc. He has no idea a lot of the shit I had to go through for his enjoyment. I even entertained people as well and kept the party going strong. All because I wanted to keep him and others happy, make it a good enviornment.

I have told him time and time again how its not good for him and if he really wants to do it, do it recreationally and in a good enviornment. But he has gotten to the point he rolls by himself and during the week its started to affect his job because he can't concentrate. When I try to help him, he says I am causing him drama. My x friend has also tried pretty hard to hook up with him after him and I broke it off. I have told him, if she really was a friend and if they really dind't do anything, she wouldn't be trying so hard to hook up with him and bad mouth me every other day. But again, "I am the crazy one."

But I agree, you make a really good point, I think it is contributing to the degration of his morals, because at some points he blames everything on me, to why the relationship ended, and that it would be "my fault" if he did ended up doing something. >.<

Since I have left him, I have been doing SO well, been much happier, and he keeps requesting me to get more mdma for him and tries to bribe me for it, because he has no connections. He finally ended up getting his own through my friends, but even then, he is so anti-social, he rather be by himself or with a girl or two. So he has gone down hill pretty bad. I myself have cut myself off from that circle because it wasen't good for me, and its been the best thing I have done. MDMA is good like you say at raves or around good people, but with the people I was around, it was nothing but drama and ruined the roll.
 
Kiralives said:
OMG You don't know HOW MUCH it relieves me to hear someone say that me catering to the party was a good thing. I spent so much time taking care of others during a party, cleaning, etc. and been yelled at my boyfriend every time for it. I had broken up so many fights as well, prevented fights, etc. He has no idea a lot of the shit I had to go through for his enjoyment. I even entertained people as well and kept the party going strong. All because I wanted to keep him and others happy, make it a good enviornment.
Click to expand...

You are such a good person, you obviously deserve better and you will get it. Anyone who goes that far out of their way to help others have a good time and make sure everyone is ok will eventually find happiness. I wish I knew more people like you. I only have a small circle of friends I consider "good" friends, who are accepting and open and don't bitch about you secretly to others, people you can confide in.
 
Yo shit this is reaaaally shitty!! <3 :( ---> :) *BIG HUG, GIRL*

Lessons learned - if a friend of yours bags other girls' boyfriends, you need to watch her around yours.

ANother one - don't do MDMA 2 days running - leave your brain to recharge.
 
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Sorry to hear that! Sounds like a pretty nasty situation.

I think you should try and move on and find some cooler people to hang out with. That girl who likes to steal BFs and only goes after guys with money sounds like a total bitch! :\

All the best!
 
This does sound like a mess - but a lot of factors are mixed up in the one thing.

If you have discussed threesomes - all went to bed together - all rolling then I can understand how wires could get crossed and things get out of hand.

The biggest thing I get from this is that you sound happier without him and your best friend around you so maybe this had been affecting you long before this happened.

Good luck :)
 
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