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I need advice - anxiety

Pinkpuff

Pinkpuff

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 17, 2008
Messages
570
I haven't rolled since the end of September. This is the longest I have gone without rolling since I started, a little over two and a half years ago. The reason why I haven't rolled is because I was suffering from high anxiety, due to some stressful events. I'm rolling in a month, but I'm worried that before I take my pill I'm going to chicken out or freak out.

The thing is, I really want to roll, because I feel that it's unfair that all this stuff is happening to me and is causing me anxiety. I don't want to go on SSRIs because I want to try to tough it out first, so I've been taking xanax more often than usual. I am not willing to wait longer, because 5 months is long enough and next month would be a valentine's day roll at a rave that I do not want to miss.

Is it possible that the aftereffects (comedown) would make me feel worse than they usually do, due to the anxiety? And do you guys think that the roll itself would be affected by this? I know that MDMA erases all anxiety when you're on it, but I'm still worried and don't want to be traumatized in any way.

I was thinking of taking a half, seeing what happens, then if everything went well I would take a whole one after a few hours.

What do you think?
 
My girlfriend suffers from anxiety issues, and I introduced her to MDMA. She was nervous as fuck snorting a line of crushed molly, but afterward she was (obviously) happy as fuck. The afterglow was nothing but pleasant for her, and she has yet to report any real comedown and return to anxiety. On the contrary, she has been less anxious and sad in general since rolling. I reckon just go for it, MDMA has well known therapeutic properties. Its been known to cure PTSD and all kinds of shit.
 
just take a xanax if the comedown is bad. don't psyche yourself out. taking xanax for your anxiety is bad though in the long run, you should be on a steady SSRI imo. i went through serious withdrawals of 6mg klonopin cause i wanted to tough it out aswell and that was built up over the course of 3 months. since you're taking a roll and not pure molly, you don't know what else is in the pill (speed for example) so what the crash will be is up in the air.
 
Pinkpuff said:
I don't want to go on SSRIs because I want to try to tough it out first, so I've been taking xanax more often than usual.
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I would hardly call using xanax to cope with anxiety "toughing it out", but I doubt you need to go on SSRI either..

honestly if you dont want to roll, dont roll dude. Its not going to make you feel any better if your already nervous about the mentalled state you will be in later on..
 
MasterSplinter said:
I would hardly call using xanax to cope with anxiety "toughing it out", but I doubt you need to go on SSRI either..

honestly if you dont want to roll, dont roll dude. Its not going to make you feel any better if your already nervous about the mentalled state you will be in later on..
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I get the feeling he does want to roll, but is just a little scared. In my experience (which is admittedly limited) its been good for people to get over that fear because deep down, its what they want to do. Like skydiving, you gotta work up the nerve but once you do its awesome and you'll never regret it.

Unless your chute doesn't open, but in that case you'll only regret it for like half a minute. Then you wont regret anything.
 
MasterSplinter, what I meant to say was, I have been trying to tough it out without the xanax as well, but it's been a long process and sometimes I just can't handle stuff so I have to cave in and take it. When I'm able to go at least a whole week without xanax, I think "toughing it out" will be easier for me. Right now I haven't been able to go more than about 3 days at a time without it, because something always comes up... But yea, I need to go a week or two without xanax by the next time I roll, because I have a feeling that I will be stronger if I'm able to do that.

cacophonaut, it's a she xD lol and yes, exactly. I want to, but I am overthinking it and worrying.
 
It is possible that your comedown/recovery period will be more difficult if you are particularly anxious, but this isn't necessarily the case. I can get some anxiety on the comedown, I can be pretty anxiety-prone in general, but now that my anxiety is starting to improve the comedowns are also more gentle.

It really depends on how you react to MDMA. It may help you develop a new perspective on your situations afterward, or it might make you feel worse. Depends on you :)
 
Nobody can really say that its not going to have a negative effect on 'you' during the comedown - If you think about this, only you know what is causing your anxiety only you know how you feel on the comedown.

You also say that when you take MDMA that your anxiety completely vanishes - 'maybe' these few hours of rolling will be enough time for you to address your problems (in your head or with a friend) and put some form of perspective on them - or just give you a nice distraction / break that you need.

IF your going to pop anyway - take a pill, chill out (or whatever you have planned), then if you feel your anxiety coming back in a negative way when your coming down pop a xanax to chill out.

Be careful with the xanax though - addiction can creep up on you!

Some other threads about anxiety issues with X
 
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