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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

benzo relapse, and it feels good...

StaySedated

StaySedated

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 21, 2010
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In the future
i was tapering off temazepam and clonazepam when it suddenly hit me that "hey, why taper when i can be fucked up in a relaxed euphoric mess".

i guess i wasn't ready to get off benzos, oh well... %)
 
yesterday I had an anxiety attack and pretty bad paranoia after staying away from lorazepam and zopiclone for a whole day and getting a little stoned. The entire house seemed so exposed and I was hearing some cops coming in my house in the middle of the night while I was alone... I almost didn't have the guts to post on bluelight and was wondering if most bluelighters were undercover agents. The worst part, I thought my benzos were in the living room but I was too scared to go there. I found them elsewhere about an hour later.

Even though the condition was gone for the most part (still shaky and paranoid though), I thanked god and let out a huge sigh and smile when I found them. I was so excited (and moreso relieved), so I kind of know how you feel. I get the 'why taper' thought often when I taper, and I just give in.
 
This is exactly how I am with opioids. Tried to taper so so many times and then, bang ... my tolerance is down so wahey! Time to plug up 250mg or morphine.
 
i'm on 7.5mg diazepam day and 2mg loprazolam sleep (down from 5mg alprazolam and 4 mg lormetazepam) and i feel empty inside..... can' wait till rehab is over.... i'll be right back on the Rx benzos, i've got so much anger and nerversnouss in me right now i could knock down a brick wall!

as u say "oh well" :\/
 
The physical withdrawals of benzodiazepines are awful but benzodiazepines are so psychologically addicting its just not funny. I've been able to taper from benzos a few times with success but after awhile I feel so fucking anxious and I know benzos are the key so I just relapse. And everything feels alright. And I know its just that easy to get relief which makes it even harder to quit the next time I try. I've gone about 4 months but I'm still dealing with these fucking withdrawals. Anxiety & depression...tics, spasms, RLS. Yuck!
 
K'd-OUT-in-AZ said:
The physical withdrawals of benzodiazepines are awful but benzodiazepines are so psychologically addicting its just not funny. I've been able to taper from benzos a few times with success but after awhile I feel so fucking anxious and I know benzos are the key so I just relapse. And everything feels alright. And I know its just that easy to get relief which makes it even harder to quit the next time I try. I've gone about 4 months but I'm still dealing with these fucking withdrawals. Anxiety & depression...tics, spasms, RLS. Yuck!
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anxiety and stress sucks, so i figure benzos are the answer.

plus there just so damn nice and relaxing... :D
 
StaySedated said:
anxiety and stress sucks, so i figure benzos are the answer.

plus there just so damn nice and relaxing... :D
Click to expand...


True. Much nicer than alcohol IMO. Smooth, relieving, easy to get down... and so much more. I definitely want to get off the benzos one day, though. And since it's been less than two years since I started doing them daily, I might still have a chance. Things weren't that bad before all the drugs.

After the anxiety/paranoia attack I mentioned the other day, my thoughts changed a little: take all the benzos you want and have fun! (u know the downside)
 
Short of extreme generalized anxiety disorders why would you want to be on drugs to function? That's what i never got about people who are prescribed benzos. I understand some people really do need them to function but wouldn't you rather learn to deal with anxiety and stress in a normal fashion. Its like people with depression on SSRI's it leads me to wonder if everyones just looking for a quick pill to solve things that life is suppose to throw at them. Sorry if your not happy all the time, feel like you cant go in public because theres people, ect. These are things everyone faces. I just dont understand why people dont want to try to learn from these things and develop proper coping mechanisms instead of becoming completely reliant on pills.

This is not saying i dont recognize generalized anxiety disorders to be real, i just think its like depression everyones too willing to swallow a pill then talk to someone about it. Or looking for the quick cure rather then discovering natural coping mechanisms. I mean no offense if you think you need them, i just think everyones over medicating in general.
 
szuko000 said:
Short of extreme generalized anxiety disorders why would you want to be on drugs to function? That's what i never got about people who are prescribed benzos. I understand some people really do need them to function but wouldn't you rather learn to deal with anxiety and stress in a normal fashion. Its like people with depression on SSRI's it leads me to wonder if everyones just looking for a quick pill to solve things that life is suppose to throw at them. Sorry if your not happy all the time, feel like you cant go in public because theres people, ect. These are things everyone faces. I just dont understand why people dont want to try to learn from these things and develop proper coping mechanisms instead of becoming completely reliant on pills.
Click to expand...

Most people don't know what they are getting into.

I was close to checking myself into a mental hospital, my GAD was so bad. I went to the psychiatrist and he prescribed me xanax. At some point I got better, but I am not sure when since I didn't start to taper off until 4 years after starting. Whenever you lower the dose, it gets too bad for some people to handle.
 
I remember completely withdrawing out oxys, and a week later I throw a fiesta at my house and bam theres a blue staring right at me. My ol lady whom fought to keep me clean was at the party too so I knew I had to be quick about this mess, I locked my door to my room blew a 30 and screwed my best girl friend who was in the room with me. Came out and acted like a cool cat haha. Im a heartless asshole. I felt alittle stupid for going through all the withdraws then using again but whatever, it felt like heaven in my nose. :]
 
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