Remember the Salvia epidemic? No?
What about all the current devastation wrought by synthetic cannabinoid use? You know, all that devastation like, well ... getting high.
If that's the best you can come up with you're doing better than most. Even those who would know about any uptick in crime, overdoses or other highness-related mayhem seem downright unfazed by the substances.
Salvia — an herb that can cause hallucinations — was "not showing up on our radar," the alcohol and drug coordinator at La Follette High School, told this newspaper in the spring of 2007. Local law enforcement had similar responses.
Nevertheless, the state made it illegal in March. Dane County has never used the statute to charge anyone.
Now, instead of salvia, the head shops are selling incense known by names like Spice and K2 that are sprayed with a synthetic cannabinoid and when smoked produce a marijuana-like effect.
And just as with the salvia craze-that-wasn't, officials are largely unable to produce evidence of the ill effects of fake pot as they simultaneously move to outlaw it.
"We don't deal with it because it's not a problem around here," said Sgt. Gordy Disch of the Dane County Narcotics and Gang Task Force.
Dane County is working on an ordinance to outlaw its sale and possession, and Andrew Nowlan, a staffer for Republican State Rep. Garey Bies, of Sister Bay, said Bies and Senate co-sponsors plan to introduce a bill to outlaw it statewide.
"It's a lot more common thing than I thought it was," Nowlan said, even as he was hard-pressed to put a figure on exactly how common.
I don't doubt synthetic marijuana can be dangerous. As Disch points out, anything that impairs the senses can impair driving and cause accidents. It's just that synthetic marijuana — which Disch said has been similar to the salvia phenomenon — so far isn't doing that.
There's at least an argument for the continued war against real marijuana, as its production fuels violence in places like Mexico. But criminalizing the fake marijuana highs of a miniscule number of people seems about as useful as, say, betting on an increase in the state's beer tax.
Beer contributes to more social problems — like drunken driving and binge drinking — than fake pot could ever hope to. Yet this legal high is so politically sacrosanct that the Legislature has consistently rejected efforts to increase the rate at which it is taxed — now among the lowest in the nation. If ever there were a "sin" ripe for taxation, you'd think beer would be it.
Besides, it's not hard to figure out what will happen once synthetic pot is outlawed.
"They're just going to come out with other things that are legal," said Jim Trudeau, manager at Madison's Sunshine Daydream, which sells "incense."
And the state's whack-a-mole exercise will continue, as the real pest gets off (almost) scot-free.
