being stuck in a loop is living hell, pure insanity. awhile ago i did a stupid combo of lots of alcohol, couple drags from a salvia joint, nitrous and sniffed two big lines of DMT in a flat full of people who were doing nitrous. needless to say it was a stupid thing to do, in completely the wrong setting, it sent me fucking nuts for about half an hour.
i properly lost the plot, and went insane, completely stuck in a loop. when i actually snapped back and realized i was in a loop i thought i was going to have to go to a mental asylum. then the loop started up again, then i snapped back. it was like being stuck between a trip and reality.
i would sit down with the people, feel sick, go to the kitchen, nearly puke and whilst i was in the kitchen id hear everybodys fucked up deep Nitrous voice echoing over and over. i would nearly puke, fail, go in, sit down with everybody. then i would feel sick again, go back out, repeat the same thing over and over. it felt like i was "stuck" in a video and it was going to happen forever. it felt like it had already happened a million times and would never stop. id go back in and ask "what the fuck is going on? how many times have i just been to the kitchen? " and i couldn't understand their reply. confusing, anxiety, paranoia. ended up crawling around on the floor and eventually in a fetal position
I felt ok the day after but when i tried to sleep i and had some weird flashback/panic attack and it felt like my brain was actually SCREAMING. i induced PTSD i assume. i thought i had fucked myself up. its been 3 months since that and i still get mild feelings of what happened when i go to bed, words being repeated over and over in a repeating deep nitrous oxide induced voice, a feeling of sinking dread followed by a strange vibration and panic
I really can understand where you're coming from here. Excuse me for having a laugh at your expense because I've reached similar.
