• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!

I think I'm addicted

S

sweetamishbutter

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
74
Since rolling my first time around about 2 months ago I've rolled about 8 times. Whenever I'm not rolling I'm thinking about it. I don't take that much when i roll, never taken more than 2 total for a night. However, this is just due to money and resource constraints, i think that if i had unlimited e id go apeshit. Ecstasy really is addictive and I don't really feel a comedown or depressed i just want to roll really bad. I don't really have a question I'm just venting
 
Well, it's not physically addictive, but it can be quite psychologically addictive. Just know that you are causing yourself (possibly permanent) brain damage by going at the pace you are.
 
sweetamishbutter said:
Since rolling my first time around about 2 months ago I've rolled about 8 times. Whenever I'm not rolling I'm thinking about it. I don't take that much when i roll, never taken more than 2 total for a night. However, this is just due to money and resource constraints, i think that if i had unlimited e id go apeshit. Ecstasy really is addictive and I don't really feel a comedown or depressed i just want to roll really bad. I don't really have a question I'm just venting
Click to expand...

hang in there man, i know exactly how you feel. the thing about mdma you gotta realize is that if you abuse it your going to feel like shit the less time you take between breaks. not only that but mentally your going to be confused, I had really bad depersonalization for a while after this summer and only rolled 3 times. That was a clear sign I needed a break. I totally know where you are coming from when you say you can't go a day without thinking about it. It's been like that for me since the first time I tried it. It was probably the most spiritual experience I have ever had in my life, it was my first experience with any substance besides alcohol and weed. What made it so powerful for me is that I had no idea what mdma does to you, my friends kind of peer pressured me into doing it lol. Had an afterglow that lasted for at least 6-7 months. The thing that people don't know about when you do a substance that's so powerful is it can open your eyes and change your views on life. I know I would never be who I am today if I never tried it like I did a year ago. It's made me think so much deeper than I ever did before, and feel more in touch with myself. It's a weird feeling because you know you will never be the same person that you were before you tried it
 
When I first rolled I enjoyed it so much more than I originally thought, and was presented with a similar appeal to the drug. You will likely regret it though and become wiser about your use, and hopefully not from eventually experiencing the serious drawbacks of frequent use.
 
Decide right now to get out and never look back.

MDMA really fucked shit up. And I it does for a lot of people. It's not that my brain is damaged, I'm not even depressed. But it changed me so much. Made me duplicitous, really badly at times. Made me dishonest. Made me crave psychoactives. Anything. I just like being high now.

I gave myself some pretty intense tolerance to MDMA 2 and a half years ago, and I haven't been able to take a break long enough to experience anything nearly intense as the first few times. (3 months does basically nothing in terms of lowering my tolerance)...

For that reason I'm always on the hunt for new highs, hoping there's something out there to replace the drug that I'm too tolerant to get high off of.

If you think you have even the most slightly addictive personality, stop NOW. If you ever listen to anything you hear on the internet, listen to that.



Sometimes I think 90% of the things I are somehow influenced by me always subconsciously thinking about ecstasy. It fucking sucks man. It's shitty. I used to be the rambunctious ridiculously smart kid that had never and would never do a drug in his life.

Before ecstasy, the craziest thing I'd ever done was drink half a beer. 3 months after being introduced to ecstasy, I had already taken about 100 pills; borrowed money, traded shit for it... taken shrooms, smoked a shitload of weed, bought 100s of acid hits. Drugs are easily obtainable and cheap here.



Good luck to you. But really, you have to stop now. This far in you have a really good chance of saving yourself. It doesn't start getting dark until after that first year or so heavy abuse. Then the clouds start setting in.


It can get ugly quick, and it is never worth the risk
 
Yep be careful. Some people say once a month is okay, when I rolled once a month it was too taxing on my brain. A few times a year is my limit.
 
I think this is very common amongst new users and shows how dangerous the drug/scene can be. Even though the drug itself isnt physically addictive the lifestyle certainly can be - raving, thinking about the next rave, the music, the drug, the parties etc

You need to be careful and space out your rolls - and if your using MDMA then do so as a treat/special occassion and not something you use every week.
 
So, my previous post was way more dramatic than intended. I was fairly baked.

However... ecstasy is still incredibly powerful and has incredible potential for abuse. I do believe though that if you can truly limit your use and be responsible, it causes more good than harm.
 
That's usually what happens when you over-do it. Take a break for a month and you won't crave. Don't do E every weekend, do it once a month MINIMUM. Don't be stupid, good luck.
 
This is very common among new users. I think it's safe to say that many of us have been there. The novelty eventually wears off for most and we begin to use less. That said, the longer you continue to abuse, the worse the negative side effects will be when they set in. Take a break, and try to think of rolling more as a celebratory thing rather than a weekend thing. The less you do it, the less you will crave it. Trust me, you'd way rather only see the positive effects of MDMA, the dark side is no fun and can be avoided.
 
Imo this is caused by the person not having a good life outside of E. If the only time you can enjoy life is while rolling then yes you're gonna get these addicted feelings.
 
im still into ecstasy, but the first few months i was reeeaaalllyy into it. what i disocovered is basically whenever i craved rolling i just though about how much harder id roll if i waited, and it helps. i havent rolled for over 5 weeks, which is by far the longest ive ever gone.
 
When I first started rolling I got WAY too into it- multiple pills usually 4 or 5 nights a week- it got to the point where I definitely did not feel anny good effect from it at all. Its easy to get madly involved with this stuff. I was facing a lot of legal trouble and quit using for over five years- It took that long for me to feel comfortable with myself to do it again. After a period of abuse a really long break may be necessary to make it enjoyable or even effective to do again. As far as other posters have said about permanent personality changes RE: feeling the need to always have a psychoactive in their system; I've felt that way since I was about 13 years old, nearly a decade before I discovered MDMA- I think it's just a personality thing.
 
you're in the honeymoon stage.
everyone gets it to some degree.
youll be fine.
Think about what it's doing to your body and brain and that should help you limit your use.
 
The first time i rolled on a bacc to bacc basis (i think it was 4 days in a row with 1 double stacced a day)...when i was off it on the 5th day...i experienced the worst depression id ever gone thru for probably about a week...of course their were other factors (leaving my girl, forced to move out of state etc..)..it was pretty bad...had some pretty bomb experiences with x tho...never regret any of them regardless
 
If it wasnt for bluelight i would honestly be in the same situation. Good luck to you man
 
You need to take at least a 4 month break before you do some damage to yourself and think about why are you doing e. Spiritual use? To enhance music? etc... And then come to a conclusion that it should only be done on special occasions with a couple of months between usage. E is not THAT great that you need to do it more than once a month. Think about it, you're increasing your tolerance and you're losing the 'magic' faster. Why would you want to do that? I have some friends that dont enjoy it anymore because they say they are "over it and moved on" which is bs because I know they did some daily and weekly binges for a long time so they lost the ability to roll. I dont want you to go down that path and ruin the experience for yourself. E is a beautiful thing, try to keep it that way.
 
i think that i was also was addicted to e psychologically, i did 14.5 pills in 5 months. i was getting depressed and started having anxiety attacks for the first time in my life. depersonalization is another problem i am going through but i know with breaks in between my e use i will get better. e should be a once in a few months type thing. the bad side effects dont set in until your in too deep. you should stop take at least a 3 month break. best of luck.
YOU DONT ABUSE SOMETHING YOU LOVE
 
fernsal1 said:
i think that i was also was addicted to e psychologically, i did 14.5 pills in 5 months. i was getting depressed and started having anxiety attacks for the first time in my life. depersonalization is another problem i am going through but i know with breaks in between my e use i will get better. e should be a once in a few months type thing. the bad side effects dont set in until your in too deep. you should stop take at least a 3 month break. best of luck.
YOU DONT ABUSE SOMETHING YOU LOVE
Click to expand...

I wouldn't call 14.5 pills in 5 months an addiction... unless you only take 1 pill a roll session...
I would say you either did a crap load in like 1 month, had a break, rolled again, and counted all of that as 5 months of rolling.... or you are getting pipe pills which can also cause depression..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top