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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: swirling into homeostasis

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Roger&Me said:
^I think it's basically designed to be a pain in the ass, for no other reason than to be a right of passage... or something lame like that.

I think college is worth it, but not if you have to sacrifice your mental health & well-being in the process (and I've seen college decimate a number of my friends mentally, so its definitely not uncommon). I think we put too much emphasis on earning credentials in our society, and not enough emphasis on just becoming a person of value.

Good luck, man. It's worth the work, but not the worry-- remember that. :)
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I feel like I'm currently sacrificing my mental heath with school at the moment. I really didn't need that monkey on my back this semester, but due to my financial situation I couldn't take a semester off. So in result I'm doing bad in school, stuck in my brain which is now under the influence of stress, and the thought of spending $10,000 on a semester that I didn't even want to take is killing me.

I feel so lost right now.

Luckily I'll be going home tomorrow so free food, old bed, and a different world for a few days. Though, trying to find my way to the airport by tomorrow is becoming a big task...

time to go buy myself a beer or two, smoke a cig, and clean this place up.
 
I feel ya Cloudy... even though my lil community college I'm at for now is only 2,000 a semester I still hate my situation. I'm paying for something that makes me so miserable that I can't even work up the drive to do it right haha...
 
Yeah school is really stressful. I had to take a class at the com college to save money this semester and am only taking one. So its starting to stress me out cus im used to taking more. I have a love/hate relationship with college, but its mainly love.

Thought I had a project due today, but its actual the 24. I was relieved, its for photoshop class though so its always pretty easy and enjoyable. Probably have been lazy from jwh :)
 
Ever think you are stuck in your body with a lock a key? I don't mean this in self-image sort of way. I feel like my body is limiting myself from being unleashed (unleashed is how it was described to me when I was digging through my head on a head full of acid and dxm). I have strong desires and goals, but man I seem to foil myself at almost every opportunity. Bleh...

What I need to do, to get my head on straight is to re-read "Island" by Aldous Huxley. I feel like that might have some messages I need to hear to try and find the peace with my physical body (though I do recognize that I wouldn't exist with out my body and there for my problem really is imaginary, and more of a struggle to crack the whip on myself... what can I say, I'm a nice guy).
 
TheAppleCore said:
^ I'm with you there.

I think my brain hates itself.

It's got my circadian rhythms totally working against my sleep schedule. Right around the time that I should be going to bed, if I want to get a full night's rest before school, I'm totally amped up and I'm literally at my peak of stimulation throughout the 24-hour cycle. And then, come 'round about that time when my alarm goes off in the morning, I'm pretty much half-dead.
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dude I'm the exact same way.
 
Haha I wish they made something that was like methadone except for pot. Like a JWH with a 200 hour half-life.

That way I could get clean off the green & save money, but still be high as fuck all the time legally. :D
 
On an unrelated note, I feel fantastic today. I'm tripping every day off of the awesomeness of living-- I feel so amazing since I quit benzos.

They blunted my senses-- colors were duller, I never noticed subtle smells, music sounded flat, my creativity was gone. But now, I go for a walk and the complexity of nature's scenes, scents, and sounds is enough to bring me to tears.

I can feel the music again, deep down inside me. It is a spiritual experience for me again. I'm so happy! :) :) <3 <3
 
Thats good roger, i gotta say I feel pretty good too since I stopped refilling my klonipin. No problems sleeping at all.

They really do blunt your senses and emotions.
 
^Good for you too, man. It really does feel way healthier to be off benzos.

I actually think benzo withdrawal cured my anxiety. I had such hellishly intense anxiety for so long that nowadays when I get normal levels of anxiety its almost humorous. Like getting attacked by a chihuahua.
 
Yea I would hate that, Id have a shitload of anxiety, but if i took too much klonipin id be kind of fucked up and not really care about shit which would then give me more anxiety.
 
I miss college...I just wish my degree had actually earned me something besides the chance to go back to school again in the future. I still have yet to work a job that requires any education whatsoever...
 
I have a question for those of you who are in college. I completed my fafsa in April for the 2010-2011 year which said I'm eligible for a Pell, but I havent received an award letter or any notifcation yet even though I've aleady applied to school and have taken all the required steps so far. Classes start in January and I'm getting nervous about my aid status.

I'm going to call my school's FA office tomorrow, I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.
 
I think they require the money to go directly to the school.

Were you expecting a lighter work load jat? I'm getting ready for the full time thing myself. We'll see how it goes, hopefully I can handle that kind of schedule.
 
nearjat said:
Same.

I'm considering only being a part time student next semester...I can't handle the stress of four classes at once. Yes I'm a pussy. But I don't want to straight up drop out...
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^thats probably a good idea.
I never graduated college (i went to 2 different ones) and regret it.
I think as far as credits go im probably a sophomore. But right now its just to difficult for me to go back to school.
I did finish a tech school which was also a big mistake. Never go to a "for-profit school." They are a bunch of talk and leave you with a lot of debt. And they prey on people in fragile states (poor people looking for jobs).

A degree really is a good thing to have, because despite how unimportant it may seem, its really important to a lot of people who do hiring. And will make your life a little easier in the long run.

Take your time, take a class or two a semester, at least you'll be moving forward.
 
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I wasn't really expecting a lighter work load no....I just haven't performed well in school...ever. Not since like 5th grade. Even during my 6mo run of total sobriety I just barellllyyyy graduated high school, and from a not very demanding school....
 
Im the same way. ive never been good at school. I dropped out of high school and got my GED. Then went to college with some pretty bad study habits.
Mainly once school is done its in the back of my mind and i never did homework. After school i preferred to hang out with friends. My parents were also not on my back very much, i would just tell them i did my work, lie about my grades and stuff like that.

Right now i honestly wish i took one or 2 classes so as not to overload myself and work a part time job.

I think we all work at our own pace. Overloading yourself will just cause you to do worse in every class, instead of allowing you to focus on a couple.
 
Delsyd said:
I think we all work at our own pace. Overloading yourself will just cause you to do worse in every class, instead of allowing you to focus on a couple.
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Exaaaaaactly. That's what I'm going to do. Too bad I fuckin' pissed away this semester....two-thousand fucking dollars for NOTHING. :( And that's cheap as hell for a college.
 
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