I have this pattern I follow every couple months... after abusing OC to hell, I decide its time to quit and my plan is to get stable on suboxone, than do a rapid taper. Unfortunately, my first on suboxone away from OC usually ends up being my "Worst day of my life"... I feel depressed, lifeless, and utterly joyless. I sleep most of the day... it really sucks. Today I did 4mg which is higher than usual for me bcuz I thought more would keep me opiated and happier. Didnt do shit.
One piece of advice - don't make that taper too rapid. Against the best advice of some people here, I tapered from 12mg down to 1mg and have so far put up with a week of 'wost days of my life'. I fucking wish I could sleep most of the day, that's about the only difference. If you taper, bring it right down to 0.25 and even then go to taking it every other day.
I ended up buying some OC just to "taste" and comfort me a bit-- Other than IVing (which I dont want to do really anymore) smoking it is the only way for u to feel anything close to relaxed from the OC. I proceeded to do some cocaine, eat xanax, and smoke weed so maybe one single joy receptor will be tickled.
ANyway.. this is usually causes a fast relapse with me. Sometimes I cant even handle the first day on this shit and stop taking it. Ive made it 5-6 days before and start feeling more "normaler" but im never happy on this stuff. Always anxious, tired, depressed... and its not like me to have anxiety/depression like subs give me.
A relapse after a few days on Sub seems to be very common. People will either skip their doses so they can feel their opiate of choice or will shoot through it with a high dose. According to the junky wisdom I've acquired on this site, this may be because people who relapse aren't ready to quit. You've really got to want to do it or it's way too easy for the rationalisation we all do to overcome our desire to get clean.
Subs are my only hope-- i'll never survive a cold turkey OC quit. Is this normal? Do u all feel yourself on subs after awhile has passed? If so, how long does it really take before im 100% feeling on subs? Any info on the topic of feeling like a suboxone zombie at first I'd like to hear about. Also, what do u guys think about cocaine to help with the joylessness of having my joy receptors all turned off (turned off harder for the subs to help them too...). Im almost tempted to use a little speed to keep me with energy throughout the day and give me some euphoric joy.
Anyone every have success with that?
I'd agree (and I'm sure the stats would as well) that Suboxone or even Methadone increases the chance of quitting exponentially. Just remember that you're going to have to wait until withdrawal from the OC starts before going on the Suboxone, so you're not starting from the best place.
Like most meds, you will adjust to the Sub over a couple of weeks. I'd suggest starting on a pretty high dose to avoid OC cravings and then starting a reasonably aggressive taper. For the record, I felt like a 'suboxone zombie' for the four years I was on the shit (although it's not so bad with lower doses). It was fucking up my life but it took me four years to realise that.
You may get some relief from cocaine and/or speed but the chances are that you'll just end up hooked on one of them. I'm sure you didn't intend to get addicted to OCs when you first started using them but we all know how that shit creeps up on you. Bottom line is that these other substances will give you some pleasure but unless you're fucking careful, you'll end up as a coke/meth-head who also takes Suboxone.
I had some pretty positive experiences with cocaine when on Suboxone (although cocaine in Australia tends to be pretty shit) although I think my other meds were holding me back (Effexor in particular) but I don't think it was worth it. It lead to the addict in me coming out big time and inevitable three day speed / coke benders. Then I had to deal with the mind-fuck of that as well as the usual guilt.
I'd honestly just find a time you 'write off' to get stable on the Suboxone. Find a week where you don't have anything to do and give it time to work. Accept that the week may suck but that it's only a week of your life.
Good luck
Wow, people have the audacity to do that in a pharmacy? ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
No problem. I'm shocked doctors wouldn't be willing to give someone a month's prescription, especially considering 3 years without a dirty UA. It's like, is the doctor waiting for a bribe? 8)
These assholes would hang out in the carpark behind the pharmacy and after a while they knew you were on Suboxone or Methadone. Had a few hairy moments making it to my car before I got rolled!
I think the Dr. was just so used to dealing with heroin addicts he had zero trust for ANY of his patients. He used to say 'I can't legally give you more than one week's dose' which I eventually called bullshit on. I pointed out I'd passed every UDS for 3 years and I just wanted to avoid wasting my time going to the pharmacy every week but he insisted that the 'temptation for abuse would be too great if I had that amount of drugs'
. I think the dude was just jaded from hearing every drug-seeking story in the book over his 30 year career. My new Dr. is much better, thank god.
Now back to me :D
I only had a *tiny* vomit tonight which is great considering I almost ate a 'real' meal. What's really doing my head in is the insomnia. I had 50mg Valium, 20mg Zolpidem (Stilnox / Ambien) and 12.5mg of phenergan (anti-histamine) before going out at about 7pm. Had a couple of beers with dinner and some weed when I got home @ about 9pm. Woke up at about 1am fully clothed with the TV on but just could not fall back to sleep.
I had another 25mg Valium, some weed and 12.5mg phenergan at about 2.30am after realising I wasn't going to go back to sleep. I literally counted sheep! It's now nearly 5am and I actually feel pretty clear headed but I just want to go to fucking bed. I stole a couple of beers from my flatmate (I'll get him back) which I'm drinking now so hopefully that will help knock me out.
I cannot believe all these drugs aren't killing my insomnia. I
know I'm over the worst of the withdrawals so hopefully I'll get back to a regular sleep routine in the next few days. If not, off too the doc again - this time for some tamazepam to break through the valium sedation and put me to bed.
That's me done. Best wishes to everyone else!
