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MDMA + Mesc HCl

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Actually, I was shown why I've gone through the things I have and that my karmic debt is almost repaid.


Almost there is the concept (imo), but with real time and you not being the only other person on Earth the idea of a complete karma is a delusion. My prediction is that once "in your clear of karmic debt", it is time to suffer and ask "WHY OH WHY!?!>?!?!?" again.

That's a guess based on previous experience, you do live in an interactive world you know. Do you really expect to reach a karmic God-on-earth status where random people will never do bad shit to you?
 
Karma is a balance... however my negative balance from the people that I've hurt (out of fear), the fucked up shit that I've done to people, and the things I put my family and friends through... that balance is equaling out.

Of course the universe is always going to throw wrenches - the thing is, the way I choose to react to those wrenches is what determines MY karma.
 
Ahhh the wonders of closed minds. So I guess having my friend close her eyes and picture something (which in the case was a wavy purple square in a circle) and then immediately telling her what it was - this was all just a lie? Seems rather ridiculous considering my boyfriend picked up on the same thing from me.


Believe me, you might have had some "psionic" forces then (in your perception and those around, I know it happened, now try it with somebody who thinks you are full of shit. Now I bet you will have to lie and then proceed to look like a nut, it tends to work like that), but to finally say it, no you are not an indigo child but a gifted child that belongs to PD (and existence) like the rest of us.

Harvesting the ridiculousness of what can happen in the name of psychedelia for your ego has got to be bad karma the way I see it and pretty much know it now.

Karma is a balance... however my negative balance from the people that I've hurt (out of fear), the fucked up shit that I've done to people, and the things I put my family and friends through... that balance is equaling out.

Of course the universe is always going to throw wrenches - the thing is, the way I choose to react to those wrenches is what determines MY karma.

Well now I am on the exact same page as you on that. I believe that there is no such thing as a "point of no return", probably even if you die.


Keep catching those wrenches and reversing the past ones you have thrown (I don't hold numerical values for what does what but it seems that way) and you are a magical indigo child in my book if you want to call it that.
 
MagicalKat777 said:
closed minds

This is one of those "thought stopping phrases" and a knee jerk reaction to hearing something you don't want to.

Well, this is happening.

Your posts are becoming increasingly delusional. You are heading down some kind of rabbit hole. You might think I'm an asshole for telling you it, and everyone else might be so politically correct as to pussyfoot around the issue, but you are headed nowhere good. Head first into psychosis. You need to lay off the drugs immediately and seek help. This is real. No joke.

my boyfriend

Also you need to be very careful about making life altering decisions about relationships while very, very high.

I speak from experience.
 
Oh yeah, listen to really fucking close minded people, I have found that if you keep your ego in check the whole conversation for them they will answer their own delusions.

If a child, nazi, klan member, elderly nut, etc. said something that struck my ego, it doesn't matter who the perception box was, time to tune in on that once my ego has been jerked back from instinct. That being said, I don't try to surround myself in impractical situations.... but why would I have to cover my ears where I am standing right now?
 
This is one of those "thought stopping phrases" and a knee jerk reaction to hearing something you don't want to.

Well, this is happening.

Your posts are becoming increasingly delusional. You are heading down some kind of rabbit hole. You might think I'm an asshole for telling you it, and everyone else might be so politically correct as to pussyfoot around the issue, but you are headed nowhere good. Head first into psychosis. You need to lay off the drugs immediately and seek help. This is real. No joke.



Also you need to be very careful about making life altering decisions about relationships while very, very high.

I speak from experience.

You can say what you will - I read my doctor's mind today and he was definitely sober and he was shocked as hell when I literally took the words right out of his mouth - twice.

I'm nowhere near psychosis. 5-MeO-AMT at least every other day, sometimes running 4 days at a time on it, that is psychosis - and even then, it faded fast - and that's arguably the most toxic research chemical there is.

As for the relationship, it wasn't a fly by night decision. We have been seeing each other for 3 weeks... He purposely picked me up last night just to meet his best friend. Once he saw how her and I hit it off, he was sold. This wasn't like an MDMA thing where I am all in love with someone until I come down the next day and think "what the fuck was I thinking" - I've had plenty of those - and that's where a lot of my relationship karma comes from because I've seriously broken hearts.
 
Am J Psychiatry 166:972-973 said:
Some Thoughts on Denial of Mental Illness
Elyn R. Saks, M.Litt., J.D.

The psychological impetus behind denial of mental illness is readily understandable. Mental illness carries a huge stigma. Even people who do not purposely deny the illness they know they have may unconsciously do so for the very same reason as the conscious deniers. One brings shame upon oneself, so to speak, by admitting to the illness. Also, quite apart from what others think, mental illness is a huge narcissistic injury. One feels lesser, damaged. So there are very understandable reasons to deny one is mentally ill. Note, too, that such feelings of injury may be present and coexist with any biological correlates. (Many today want to conceptualize denial as "anosognosia," which they assert to have a biological basis. But doesn’t all mental activity?)

The question arises, though, of how a person really could deny her illness in the face of flagrant symptoms. What does she tell herself?

Here I will draw on my own experience as a person with schizophrenia who denied for decades that she was ill, even in the face of many, many episodes of clear psychosis. I completely recognized that the things I was saying and doing and feeling would be thought to amount to a diagnosis of schizophrenia; but I thought that it was not true—I didn’t really have the illness.

Worth a read.
 
I'm nowhere near psychosis. 5-MeO-AMT at least every other day, sometimes running 4 days at a time on it, that is psychosis - and even then, it faded fast - and that's arguably the most toxic research chemical there is.


I have been on huge drug binges and experienced "drug induced psychosis", your posting of concerning and contradictory things on a frequent basis here is what I am what I think others were concerned of.

Saying that you don't listen to seemingly closed doors is ridiculous, some people are as dumb as a robot but nobody has welded shut doors. (Yours seem pretty damn close right now even though they are oozing in traits of psychedelia that I wouldn't call holistic or realistic.)

How did you read your doctors mind? Life does seem to have some bases that keep repeating in different incarnations, being observant will get you far. That's my guess, I'm not here to debate the ability of telepathy and the supernatural, but I DO NOT THINK YOU, MAGICKALKAT777 ARE THE SUPERNATURAL, you just keep happening to grace by it if that is the case. Now realize you are a human in some form like the other humans and it might just grace by enough to where you understand you don't need to yell "crazy shit" about your skillz for them to work if they are, I try not to judge that content because I am a nut to plenty but the plenty that we belong to are still there.

Being rounded is nice too, though.
 
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I'm not going to defend my experience. You don't know until you go through it yourself. And by the way, up until I scared the shit out of myself doing energy manipulation while rolling, my ability to manifest things in my life was off the charts. SOBER I can take away a headache by simply placing my left hand on the area that hurts, visualize the black energy going into my arm, and discharging it into a grounded Earth state (for me, I visualize a huge quartz crystal that goes deep into the Earth but most visualize roots). I locked up all of my natural talents when I got out of control with the energy manipulation and seriously hurt a friend of mine - so bad that he went into psychosis for 3 days. The mescaline made me realize that I am doing a huge disservice to myself by locking it away and also taught me that I need to face all of my demons - venture into my subconscious and wittle them away one at a time.

But really, it doesn't matter what other people believe. Peyote is the great teacher... and many have experienced similar to things to what we did when using it.
 
But really, it doesn't matter what other people believe.

Dude, you just lost the game and missed the entire concept.


Hell yeah peyote has got to be a great direct connection to the "godhead" merged with your ego, but this now tells me a lot about you.

You don't care what anybody believes on a subject besides the knowledge of just one molecule? What about your current boyfriend?
 
I've absolutely believed my ability to manifest things while fucked up on drugs. And it was delusional. And it all ended in tears. As it will for you if you continue down the path of delusion.
 
It tells me that I have a far stronger will than to discount and deprecate an experience that I had because other people have not had that same experience. I didn't lose anything.
 
You can say what you will - I read my doctor's mind today and he was definitely sober and he was shocked as hell when I literally took the words right out of his mouth - twice

Come on, man.

This mind-reading, energy-manipulation stuff is not sound thinking.

You must realize this, at least at some level?

You cannot heal other people by "manipulating their energy". I know you may believe this, but other people don't believe that to be possible. It sounds crazy, because it is. It is inconsistent with what humanity knows to be true about matter and energy.

Sorry if I've hurt your feelings or whatever, but I'm not gunna sit by and say nothing.
 
The third thing I told myself was that I did not have an illness because all of my so-called symptoms were things I simply chose to think or do. I was choosing, for example, to hold certain beliefs even though the evidence was not what would classically constitute "good" evidence—I had a special premium on the truth. The illness was not something happening to me, but something I was "doing."

How did I eventually come to accept that I had schizophrenia?
...
because other people have not had that same experience.
you don't think other people on this board have had ++++ experiences (even with mescaline)?
 
I've absolutely believed my ability to manifest things while fucked up on drugs. And it was delusional. And it all ended in tears. As it will for you if you continue down the path of delusion.

Well that's you. I've had natural abilities LONG before I ever touched a drug. As a matter of fact, I still blow light bulbs whenever I'm pissed off... I've met some great spiritual healers in my time that all have told me I have an intensely strong link to the universe, even when I don't want it.

People have had me in their Wiccan ceremonies because of the fact that I can channel energy faster than anyone else and I don't need a circle or a cone of power to generate and contain it because I'd adept at sending it out.

You believe what you want to believe. I know what I experienced. I also am well aware of what I'm capable of, and how I dumb myself down out of fear.

So you're also saying that all of the people that have taken Ayahuasca and suddenly became shamans and healers are crazy too? If you expand your consciousness to the point where you are connected to "the source" (whichever name you give to it) and you go into it and out of it with an open mind, not clouded by the "deny everything that isn't godly" society, you'll take a lot more from it.
 
I've absolutely believed my ability to manifest things while fucked up on drugs. And it was delusional. And it all ended in tears. As it will for you if you continue down the path of delusion.


I believe psychedelics can channel your "zos" in what you do best, but going back and analyzing what you physically did in the moment will show most to all plus the sum of what you have learned of become aware that you had physically and mentally shifted from normal conscious thought.

I have certainly had subject "new record" moments with painting and piano whilst tripping, but if I go back and try to figure out what the hell happened I can usually figure out how my technique "flooped" just a bit and try to incorporate an unusual improvement into my actual technique and flow.

Psychedelics have "magical powers" based in reality in my book, honestly, but if you just call it or yourself magic and wave your hands around they will be mostly to completely gone when sober from experience.

Hey, I'm a nut and I do what I do, if I told you how I had seen some of the most important things I know about my instrument any normal person outside of bluelight would tell me to lock myself up! That is why I do what I do in this game as best as I can and just do it as a sum of my thoughts, most thoughts stay inside this brain of mine while I make crazy action out of them.

I should also note that delusions can seem to work until they are recognized, whoever is free to call bullshit on me, reasonably. Those who tend to their ego will not recognize their ego or delusions and life really can feel quite complete besides bouts of suffering that I guess could be hard to differentiate from a less stressful life.

I've met some great spiritual healers in my time that all have told me I have an intensely strong link to the universe, even when I don't want it.


I call it gravity, brah. =D
 
This is what's wrong with the psychedelic movement. This is why people don't take us seriously.

Seek professional help. These things that are happening to you are well documented symptoms of serious mental illness.
 
Come on, man.

This mind-reading, energy-manipulation stuff is not sound thinking.

You must realize this, at least at some level?

You cannot heal other people by "manipulating their energy". I know you may believe this, but other people don't believe that to be possible. It sounds crazy, because it is. It is inconsistent with what humanity knows to be true about matter and energy.

Sorry if I've hurt your feelings or whatever, but I'm not gunna sit by and say nothing.

And this is why science is starting to finally accept that energy fields can indeed be manipulated, the eastern philosophies are actually correct and that an energy conduit exists within us whether it be chakras, ki, or chi? Let's not even take into account the fact that more and more people each day are realizing that Christianity is nothing but a rip off of nature-oriented religion with rules thrown in that suit the people who modified and translated the bible to fit their needs. Seriously, I feel sorry for all of you that are so close-minded that you can't accept a spiritual truth.

The world is waking up. Pretty shortly there is going to be a massive shift in consciousness and humanity will evolve to a higher being. Unfortunately the closed-minded people will be left to fend for themselves as they will never truly be able to accept the gifts of the universe.
 
Mkat, why don't you contact James Randi and collect your million dollars, should be a piece of cake based on your description of your new powers.

Seriously though, I'm happy you had an awesome trip and would be grateful if you posted at least a condensed trip report.
 
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