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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

took sub this morning, copped H this afternoon . WTF?

yeh really...no excuses man tough it out like everyone else or kill yourself and your family with you, which is the only possible outcome of heroin addiction as we all know

ohhh your life is so bad, your dad is giving you money which he might "cut off", your gf sex-fix annoys you and your mom who's been weighed down by it all watches cable tv all day. i cant imagine it being any worse omg you poor NJ boy 8)

wtf?

you live in the land of the rich,
use those resources to get betetr, suck it up butter cup
 
thats the harsh side of it

sure, recovery is fucking painful. more painful than dope is pleasurable.

but it has a huge upside:
you slowly climb back into yourself
imagine how good that would feel. and its a huge pat on the back. the world will push you along when you make the right decisions; when you give up you just sink. sink or swim baby!
 
Word^^. It is obvious to me that Jake doesn't really want to get clean, or else he'd do everything in his power to make it happen, rather than post excuse after excuse on a message board saying all thse problems he has and blah blah blah, well guess what, most of them are from your dope use!

Eventually you're either going to die a junkie or end up in prison if you keep using. You have the chance to change this right now, but it seems you rather live in misery addicted to dope?

How much more pain will you cause to yourself and family before you finally realize the truth?
 
i guess thats the key. at least it was for me. realising the truth - waking up - which is indeed extremely painful; but if you can undo some of the wrongs, make them right; each step is one toward recreating Fullness and Health

and then you can maybe do half the good things our poor bastard survivalist parents did or us, only for us to cough it up back in their face inspired by a jimi hendrix record :p lol,...well looking at their baby-boomer insanity its hard to blame us entirely
 
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Why do i feel like i am not getting support , i am getting beaten down every time i read posts on here ? You guys make a lot of assumptions when you really have no clue what is going on in my life its prettty ignorant
 
jake99 said:
Why do i feel like i am not getting support , i am getting beaten down every time i read posts on here ? You guys make a lot of assumptions when you really have no clue what is going on in my life its prettty ignorant
Click to expand...

If you think we're gonna support you "giving up to your addiction" which you said a couple posts back, then think again. We're trying to talk some fuckin sense into you.
I tell it how I see it, and it seems a lot others feel the same way I do.
But whatever, if you want to play ignorant go ahead, I'm done, do what you like, you're gonna do it regardless what anyone on here says anyway so any support you get doesn't really fuckin matter in the end anyway. ;)

If you havn't learned anything from seven fucking pages of support already, another fuckin 7 pages of support aint going to do SHIT for you either. You gotta want to change and make it happen yourself, until then expect to be in the shitty existence of dope addiction.
 
how can you expect us not to get angry at you? in the confusion of addicition families fall apart and people even kill themselves because they cannot handle the pain of recovery or continuing addiction. so your using this pain as an excuse to continue your addiction, is painful to me because i am an empathetic person, and a recovering addict [knock on wood] so i can only get angry at you as i get angry at myself. capiche?
 
I support you jake, do whatever you want. Dope, pills, methadone. Eventually you will get clean. Keep trying. It is a tough place when your strung out on shit. At least you havent said fuck it completely and started robbing for dope? There is always hope.

peace.
seedless
 
so heres where im at ................did 4 bags yesterday and other day got by with 3 . so i know my habit isnt that huge now at least............today im takin my last piece of sub , prob less than 2 mg , than i have about 120 mg methadone which i plan on splitting into abuot 4 doses and PRAYING that after that i wont be sick enough to have to cop dope again
 
Jake, you need to understand you are going to have to go thru physical withdrawal no matter what. Tapering (properly) will minimize this, but kicking opiates is not a painless process.

Tapering properly is done over time, not done in 3 or 4 days. You're going to have to accept that you're going to go thru physical withdrawal, then you're going to have to endure months of post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS).

Again, I wish you the best, but I don't think you understand what you're up against. Good luck buddy.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I'm not buying this. Albeit not every MMT clinic allows patients to use benzodiazepines, I know someone who was on alprazolam and methadone at the same time, and the clinic they went to was OK with that, he just had to sign a waiver.

I think if you cared enough about your recovery, you would call every MMT clinic until you found the one that was OK with concurrent benzodiazepine use.
Click to expand...

That's correct. If the largest clinic in my city did not prescribe methadone to benzo users... Well, there would not be a clinic.
 
jake99 said:
so heres where im at ................did 4 bags yesterday and other day got by with 3 . so i know my habit isnt that huge now at least............today im takin my last piece of sub , prob less than 2 mg , than i have about 120 mg methadone which i plan on splitting into abuot 4 doses and PRAYING that after that i wont be sick enough to have to cop dope again
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Jesus christ bro you STILL don't get it.

Have you ever seen someone on this board make a taper thread?
Its a highly articulated and very specific process.

Having 120mg of methadone which you "plan on splitting into 4 doses" is NOT going to do ANYTHING FOR YOU.
Write up a fucking taper cause you can make that 120mg last a week easily if you WANTED TO QUIT. But no, you're just gonna do 30mg a day for 4 days and come back complaining again in 4 days that it "didn't work" when once again YOU didn't fucking try.

120mg methadone could go like this:

20mg, 20mg, 15mg, 15mg, 10mg, 10mg 10mg, 5mg, 5mg, 5mg, 2.5mg, 2.5mg OFF (and thats already too fast 200-250mg would work better)

What is your **PLAN**? You NEVER list an actual plan. If you think "oh I'm just gonna take what I have and divide it by 4 and pray I'm ok" then I hate to break it you bro, you are not very bright. Either that or you're not using your brain.

But because I know you have a brain I know its that just once again your leading everybody on and have on fucking intention whatsoever of stopping. Your making a big deal over NOTHING. Take a bit a way from your dose everyday, stick to 1 fucking drug, give it 4-6 weeks, and your done. I can not believe this shit why hasn't someone locked this thread yet?

You think you're not getting "support"? No shit cause what the hell do you need support with? You're not even doing anything.
Start tapering and then you'll see what support looks like. Otherwise stop wasting peoples time.
 
And I'll tell you another thing about your thinking. Your hoping 4 days isn't gonna make you sick enough to cop dope again?
Tell me this cause I'm clearly getting fed up with this shit:

HOW THE FUCK IS USING METHADONE FOR 4 DAYS W/OUT A TAPER PLAN ***NOT*** GOING TO LEAVE YOU SICK????
Please tell me where the fuck you got that idea from? Did a stork drop a note at your front door this morning?
You are soooo far from common sense right now I almost think somethings going on with your brain biologically. NO fucking sense at all does anything your saying make.

TAPER THE METHADONE. Get MORE than 4 days from it. If you don't, I think this thread needs to be closed. You are clearly wasting everybodies time. We don't have to come here and motivate you every fucking day to get off drugs when day after day for the last year you have NOT MADE ONE SINGLE *VALID* ATTEMPT to get off drugs.

I'm gonna start posting threads just like this to show you how fucking stupid it looks bro, comeon man wtf.
And to add you put "I did 4 bags of dope yesterday but got by on 3 bags today" as if to make it sound like you purposely bought 3 bags because you're concerned about stopping. You bought 3 bags cause thats all the money you had. You can taper pretty easily when you don't have money huh? Well prepare to go broke, not have any money, any drugs, and to be left sitting in your house withdrawing by yourself with noone to help you cause you can't fucking help yourself.
 
wow man after i try to help you out you treat me like that. i didnt know you were like that.............that was messsed up . ive made LOTS of attemps to get clean. you just are pissed you still are hurting and cant ffind subs. sorry man . dont take it out on me. and for your info expert , ppl do take methadone a few days to get past the worst of the dope withdrawal and it is possible
 
Great 1 time of you trying to help me out and about 5000 times of me and everyone else trying to help you out. I wasn't angry about the sub, I could honestly give 2 shits bro. Not to mention the following day I got exactly what I needed, which is why I didn't call, so I'm not hurting and I don't give a shit about that.

I have NO PROBLEMS with you as a person. I've said this before. I think I get as angry as I do at you because you have NO FUCKING IDEA how much potential you have. What made me angry today was when I thought about your "attempts" real hard, and that was why I wrote no "valid attempts".
Can you name *1* valid/genuine attempt you made at getting clean since you started all of this? I'm dead serious. I don't think a single person would consider buying 1 less bag of dope an attempt at getting clean. I also don't think people would consider your plan with the methadone an "attempt" either. And they're NOT EVEN half ass attempts as far as I'm concerned. I will explain why as theres no way around it.

As long as you are STILL going back and forth between multiple opiates there is NO ATTEMPT at getting clean. Don't you get that? You CAN NOT TAPER when you consistently keep bouncing back from heroin to sub to methadone.
In order to get clean you can either a) cold turkey, which you're obvioulsy not doing.
Or B) taper off ONE opiate.

You haven't even tried to stay on one and the REASON IS because your best chance is suboxone, yet can't get HIGH on suboxone which is why you always go back to heroin or methadone.
Do you think you're gonna taper off diesel? No, I highly doubt it.
Do you think you're gonna taper off methadone? Its possible, but considering how much self control you have, your only chance is suboxone and you know that.

As long as you can get high off what you're taking your will power will not allow you to taper it.
I know this, you know this, and everyone who sees how little control you have knows this.

A "valid attempt" to me will be when you buy more than 1 sub. And WRITE A TAPER PLAN.
Then you have to "taper" for more than just a couple days.
YOU KNOW AND I KNOW YOU ARE NOT STOPPING AFTER 4 DAYS METHADONE.
Don't we go through that same conversation every week with a different drug? "I'm gonna do x for a 3 or 4 day taper then stop"Its getting pretty old bro. One time you actually expected us to believe you would stop after a 2 day taper with sub. You don't even remember wtf you say anymore, and thats sad.

GET A PLAN then why don't you come back when you have something. If I went through every thread you ever posted and found everytime you said you were gonna get clean, it would prob be like 200 most likely more. And every single time you have managed to decieve us...
 
Its funny you had a WHOLE thread about your taper plan and went back on subs after you got off opiates so you should be the last person to be telling me you dont understand how hard it is................and i am trying to make the methadone last 5 days.......its just hard to measure because its liquid , if it was pills i could break a 10 mg pill in half and know accuratley.......but its still way better than me buying H every day for those 5 days. oh and i did make it 17 days on subs awhile ago , is that not a VALID attemp ? i still couldnt take PAWS just like you and relapsed
 
hey jake its really sad to see you and bojangles are getting at eachother.I honestly belive hes tried to help you alot i read all the posts in this thread.You gotta consider that hes alittle frustrated over the fact that he and a bunch of us give u alot of good advice that u do not take.Im not as close to u as bojangles is so maybe thats y im not frustraded and i am still always willing to try to support you.Im not taking sides here im just sayin that from what ive seen boj has bin there alot for you man and i hate to c that u guys r talking like this. By the way jake u r right when u made it 17 days that was "valid" for sure i was actually kinda jelous of u cuz i didnt think u had it in you by the posts u wer making. N i remember checking on ur thread evreyday and im like wow hes still going. At that same time i think i was only on like my 4th day on subs n i can honestly say i was alitttle jelous of u.Point is jake u can do it again look back in time and c what u did right when u actually got to 17 days clean. You know u hav it in you man u just gotta try alittle harder.
 
You know what fuck this. I'm done trying to help you.

"I can't measure a liquid" really? Great, if you are gonna play dumb like that with me theres no point.
How about a fucking turkey baster, milimeter eyedropper, teaspoon with ml markings, syringe, baby bottle, there prob 10 different ways to measure a liquid in 2010.

You DO NOT want to get clean.
You DO NOT want to taper.
You DO want things to get worse and worse till something bad happens because deep down you believe you're too weak to take over this addiction. So I think you realize you're only hope at this point is going back to prison/getting cut off.

I'll be looking forward to a thread 5 years from now when you get out.
 
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You should probably stay on methadone. Dont you think one of these days you might push it to far?? Good luck dude, hope it works out. You have alot of people that have payed alot of attention to this, dont take it for granted.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Jesus christ bro you STILL don't get it.


What is your **PLAN**? You NEVER list an actual plan. If you think "oh I'm just gonna take what I have and divide it by 4 and pray I'm ok" then I hate to break it you bro, you are not very bright.
Click to expand...

hahaha

This is an instant classic.

Bojangles69 said:
"I can't measure a liquid" really? Great, if you are gonna play dumb like that with me theres no point.
How about a fucking turkey baster, milimeter eyedropper, teaspoon with ml markings, syringe, baby bottle, there prob 10 different ways to measure a liquid in 2010.
Click to expand...


ROFL

I know this is not necessarily contributing anything to the thread, but the thread has become somewhat of a spectacle. This was the best 'wake-and-bake' laugh I've had in years - Maybe ever. Thank you for this, Bo.

P.S

Jake, this Bo gentlemen seems to be one of the few who not only cares (or cared now), but also expended a colossal amount of time detailing insightful posts; all of which you have either not read, or were simply too eager to add the next chapter in your soap opera of a life.
 
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