There you are! Been a little worried as I haven't seen you in a while. Sounds like you're hanging tight so that's good man! Thanks for checking in.
Yeh it seems like you're reaching the point where you're just not going to stablize like back at the larger doses. I noticed that too when I got to that point it was taking longer and longer to stablize. But if you wait long enough you absolutely will adjust, it just might take like 3-4 days instead of 1-2.
Yeah I had to go an extra day last week too. It's these shitty pods. They are the worst. The good part of it is that they make me HATE pods and I'll take all the pod-hatin' I can get right now.
I'm excited for you however because at that low a dose its only a matter of time before the majority of more intense wds let up completely. I'm not sure how intense your shivering/hot flashes are but like I said before when I got low enough eventually all those symptoms stopped and were replaced by insomnia.
They are what I'd call moderate. Not put me on my ass but it was 85 degrees and humid and I was shiverring (between literally pouring sweat a minute earlier) like it was freezing out. I hope that by dealing with them now I won't have to deal with them after the jump. Kinda makes sense.
You didn't mention anything about taking lope in your last post and I think that can benefit you a lot at this point. If you take around 8-12mg it'll plug up all the receptors in your body, so those smaller doses go straight to your head and aren't wasted in your body. I also notice lope tended to make my doses last longer. Not 24 hours long, but instead of getting thrown back into wds at say hour 10-12, I noticed with lope I was getting closer to hour 18 before I was feeling wds again.
I went off the lope after I stabilized last week but jumped back on it today. 12mg./morning and 12 mg./night. That stuff is a Godsend. Last week I was up to 36mg before the runs stopped. 24mg/day is holding me now. I'll take that as a good sign but who knows?
Those weaker pods are a bitch but I'm happy you at least have been tapering on them for a while now, just because they are weak as shit it should soften the jump off a good deal. I hate those fucking pods though because when I switched from the older stronger pods to them, I was thrown into the worst wds of my life. It actually took me a few days to realize it was the new shitty pods doing it.
They caught me off guard last week. I thought I had my dose converted to these weak pods but nope- I got mugged by w/ds and it cost me a half days work.
From what I've been reading elsewhere what few pods are available from this harvest aren't any good either and prices are still through the roof. I have a feeling a lot more people are gonna be jumping off pods before long. What was once a really cheap and very effective thing is now ridiculously expensive. And the quality? Ha! Worthless garbage. I'm a major pod-hater these days. Don't get me wrong- I don't blame the pod for what I chose to do but I hate shitty weak pods. Just because they are shitty and weak.
The funny thing with tapering is the lower you get, the more and more you can "taste it", freedom that is. When you're only a few gms away from being off completely it really starts to eat up your patience like nothing else. When I got to where you are I started thinking more and more about jumping off everyday, although I went for about another 10 days before I actually did it.
It really was a feeling like nothing else when I stopped and by day 3 had realized there was no wds to deal with. I felt SO FUCKING GOOD to know the tapering worked exactly like it was suppose to, just too bad the insomnia had to keep getting worse as the days went by.
Yeah man I can relate to being impatient. I keep thinking about just saying F it and jumping off. If I could take a week off of work I think I would just do it. Load up on every herbal sedative I have, hammer the lope, and just jump. Can't do it, though, because of work. It really is frustrating. I think it was Podster who said that as weak as these pods are the actual dose has to be pretty damn small. I can tell ya this: If the pre-shortage good pods were 10's these are 1's. No exagerration! Hs point was that even though it might feel like we're still dosing pretty high we really are not. I also looked in my cup and 5g isn't much. All these things make me wanna jump but I'll stay the course.
So far I'm still sleeping good. Even when I was sick last week I slept. Not as good as usual but enough. I'm lucky in that I only need 5-6 hours to feel okay. I've never been a big sleeper. I am a napper, though. I have always been able to sleep in w/ds and I think I'm pretty damn lucky for that because so many people suffer in that regard. I know you're having a hell of a time with it. Hope you catch a break soon because you've been fighting it for a long time now.
You are getting super close man just continue to take it day by day and keep doing what you're doing. In a strange way I kinda missed tapering when I initially jumped off. Tapering alone is so motivational you don't really realize it till you stop. Everyday you wake up with this huge motivation to just get through and conquer that specific day. Than you stop and its more like "hmm what am I motivated about doing now"? So don't be in a rush at all as sick as you can sometimes get during tapers they really give you willpower like nothing else I've ever experienced before.
Yeah I'm gonna have to come up with something to fill up the empty space so that when I jump I'll have something to really focus on. My lower back has been killing me so a couple days ago I started doing stretches and trying to limber up. Maybe by the time I jump I'll be ready to start cranking out some crunches, pushups, jumping jacks, and can get up in the morning and do a little workout first thing. I really DO need to get myself in better shape as I let myself go the past couple years.
I've heard people say "It doesn't take will power" or that there is no such thing. Bullshit! Sitting there reading about someone elses taper is easy. Doing it and sticking to it is a whole other ballgame. Hell yes it takes willpower. I'm gonna be honest and my biggest motivator for this taper is fear.
I'm afraid of: not being able to support my addiction because of the expense and/or the lack of quality. I'm afraid of needing pain meds legitimately and not being given enough for them to work. I'm afraid of getting caught in a position where I can't dose and having to go c/t unplanned. I'm afraid of my health going downhill. I'm older than and health really starts to become important. I'm just afraid of having my good luck run out. I've been lucky and so far maintaining my habit has been easy. All good things come to an end and I don't wanna blow my good luck. I might need it later! Fear is a great motivator indeed.
I think at certain points during my taper I thought I was superman, because I was arrogantly kicking opiates in the nuts and dropping them all by myself, which isn't something a whole lot of people do. You should be proud that were blessed with the genes and mindpower to conquer an addiction as powerful as opiates, because there are people who have attempted the same thing you are dozens of times, and wound up suicidal or worse because they couldn't do it.
Hell yes everyone who is going through this and making prgress has a right to be proud. This shit ain't easy! I am SO grateful for the support and I'm grateful for my "stubborn gene" that I was born with. You know where it gets hard for me? A week or two after the jump, when I am feeling better, and then the damn depressin comes rolling in and wants to put me down on my ass.
I'd never fault anyone for not being able to taper. It's a bitch. Some people can face c/t like they are made out of iron. Me? I shake at the mere thought of it. I think it all balances out somehow.
Hope to see you on the other side soon!! I should be there myself whenever my meds get here, they just shipped today so it can still be another week before I jump off again.
Hell yeah! I'm really glad you checked in tonight. Have'nt heard from you in a while. I hoped you have just been busy working and waiting for your meds. They ought to be coming soon I hope. Keep us posted as things progress. You're paving the way for a lot of taperers, man, and this one in particular wants to see you on the other side too!
Hang tough and we'll ALL get there eventually!
Peace.