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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

16 months on pods - Tapering completely in 4 weeks (log)

No I didn't get a script I realized the same place I get all my other meds from sells clonidine. I had no idea that even had it but I know they have benzos/steroids and other things.

I feel good about making this decision I really do.
It was getting to the point where as day and day went buy, and I slept less and less, my wds were being aggravated more and more. I was losing my appetite as the days progressed, I was losing my ability to run and workout from always being sleep deprived, and worst of all I've stopped making any money cause I can't run any sidejobs. So I'm getting broker and broker, more and more unstable from the lack of sleep, and from the combination of everything slowly detiorating, I just decided I had enough. It was like I was so use to feeling like shit that I reached a point where I didn't really understand how bad a condition I was actually in.
Its not till taking the pods that I realized how bad a shape I was actually in. I'm not worried at all about going back to higher doses because I've been tapering for so long anyway its second nature to just take as little as I can.
I sat down and opened up word today to figure out where my priorities need to be. And although getting completely clean has always been priority 1, I can't get clean untill I handle some other priorites first.

Priority one. Stay healthy enough so I can work and make as much money as I can this next week or 2. Take the money and buy a lineup of meds/herbs that have worked for me before. I thought a little arsenal of meds would be useless as long as I tapered slow enought.. but I'm realizing if I had some simple effective meds this jump off would not have put me in the headspace I did.

Once I get money together I'm getting:
Clonidine
Benzo for sleep (most likely just 20mg of valium a night)
Passion Flower (this stuff is remarkably strong for sleep I remember taking it years ago and realized today how much it would help)
A refill on my inderal script for after I stop the clonidine as just running out of that a week ago I realized a lot of little issues getting worse (due to not being able to control my blood pressure).
L-theanine to take with the passion flower for relaxation and sleep.
And I already have seroquel which I'm going to use small amounts in combination with all the other sleeping meds/herbs.
Chaltrate which I got today
Potassium to work with the magnesium/calcium to balance electrolytes and at least reduce RLS symptoms (I hear a lot of people having 100% success by this measure alone)
Absolutely about 500ml of tonic water a day (helpme I know you said tonic water has very little quinine but the recommended amount if half a liter which is a lot of quinine).
Pot for depression and sleep.



Meds/herbs I will NOT be taking:

Kratom, its not a bad drug but absoluely stops the upregulation of receptors so you never really overcome that last bit of wds.
Phenibut, (this ones long) its extremely useful for anxiety/sleep. It really is a wonderful drug and I was suprised at what it was able to do temporarily. But I swear to god after only 1 use I had a terrible rebound with that shit. It had my vision blurry today, and as relaxed as it had me yesterday I felt extremely anxious and outright fucked in the head today. I attribute sleep to a good portion of those symptoms, but compared to my usual shitty sleep patterns phenibut absolutely made them worse from only 1 use. I know things that affect GABA have wds, but I've used benzos before for months with only experiencing very little rebounds. I know after only a week on phenibut my mind would not react well to stopping. Its definitely closer to GHB with its rebounds than say xanax or valium. As GHB I use to get GABA/dopamine rebounds after only 2-3 uses. Phenibuts rebound reminded me very much of GHB rebounds, and it doesn't take a lot to cause them.
Immodium, although this has done HUGE things for me ON my taper. It genuinely seems once the pods were gone immodium became useless for anything. I could take huge drops in my pods and use immodium to regulate my wds. But I took 10mg last night, a dose that should have absolutely done something.. anything.. and had some of the worst RLS of my life + I did not sleep 1 second. Not to mention immodium is an opiate and in terms of actually getting over wds I simply can't take anything thats gonna further fuck with my receptors.
Alcohol although it absolutely helps with sleep it causes more anxiety the next day and all around winds up aggravating wds worse. If you're not constantly drunk all the time its pointless imo to use alcohol for wds.

Its a long list but having all those things I will be able to at least sleep, and get through my days being productive. I'm going to aim for taking small amounts of a lot of things, vs taking large amounts of just a couple of meds. I'm doing that because I notice its a million times more affective to take say 20mg of valium with 1/2 cup of passion flower, and 25mg seroquel vs just taking say 100mg seroquel. I always get better relief using the concept of synergy vs the concept of volume or just taking as much as you can.

Nobody worry, at least now I can get back to dieting and working out and getting some money together. I haven't worked out in the last 3 days (you try lifting on 2 hours of sleep every night) and that alone was having a huge impact on my ability to remove stress. I've taken a break with this taper before by going to sub, I didn't wanna do it then, but it got me to 8 days off. I didn't wanna go back to pods after 8 days off, but I'm sure it will get me to eternity off. I just really need to respect my body and mind through this process and do things in a more calculated and patient manner. Who knows if the RLS would have been gone by monday? but just looking at the progression it could have been weeks that I had to deal with the insomnia and RLS. Most pod wds subside within 5-6 days for me (at least in the past) but by the consistency of what I was experiencing I just didn't see an end that was near enough for me to actually reach. So all I need to do is get somethings together and this will be my 3rd and final go. Could I have done it after my first break? Probably, but would it have been worth it? Absolutely not. Some people are ok with turning themselves into vegetables during this process and just getting it over, but I am just not one of those people.
 
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Bo you are doing the correct thing (fine tuning your taper). You are listening to your body. You know your body better than anyone. I really pray you get at least a good 8 hours sleep tonight.

You know that your log is going to help so many that come after you!
 
I KNEW you had more fight left in ya!

You sound much better in this post ^ and I'm glad for you. It's amazing what sitting down and listing things out can do as far as clarifying ones thoughts. Good going Bo.

That sleep deprivation is brutal for sure. It leads to depression which leads to frustration and it becomes a vicious circle. Without a halfway decent night's sleep all bets are off. I think you're doing the right thing. You sound SO much better for simply having made the decision to attack the sleep issue. In the mean time, while waiting to re-stock your arsenal, do what you have to do to remain functional. You'll be far better off for it for sure.

I hope you caught some sleep/rest and are I hope you're in a bit better spirits today. I can tell by your writing that you're doing better and I hope it continues. Thanks for laying yourself wide-open here for, as Help said, you're helping a LOT of people that are coming along behind you. I'm merely one of many that has been inspired by your efforts. Keep on keeping on and thanks!

Peace.
 
Thanks hamclamp I definitely feel like I can taper for 6 months if I ever needed to. I think professionals say it takes 3 weeks for a habit to form (which I always thought was bs), and as crazy it sounds once I got past 3 weeks I felt like I could taper forever. Using high doses use to be my comfort zone, but tapering very quickly became my new comfort zone.
What I mean is its not the idea of relapsing that scares me, its the rebounds I would get from those mass 80gm.. sometimes even 150gms doses. Looking back there was one weekend I took 150gms on like a friday, and by saturday night I was having the worst hotflashes, the worst chills of my life. It wasnt even the time frame for actual wds, its that come down I'm so afraid of now (cause I'd never let it go to full blown wds).
As much as people say those low doses suck, they really pale in comparison to what it use to be like back in the day. That was the real reason I started this taper and it was in my first post. I never dosed twice a day (never really had the money for it) and because of that I was ALREADY spending 12 hours of everyday in annoying prewds. But the prewds of say an 80gms dose, are almost equal to the peaks of a lesser say 15gm dose. Thats why even now although a lot of days I may hate the way I feel, I gotta keep reminding myself how crappy I use to feel half of everyday I woke up.
I just got to the point where my body burned doses so quick thats what really pushed me to taper.. and well the vacation of course.

But I'll do a quick update.
I worked today for 6 hours, got a little cash in my pockets (not a lot lol this is just side work). Worked out and did chest, than I was planning on running but officially had NO ENERGY left. My stamina really blows between the wds and cigarettes.

And I've basically spent the rest of the day yawning with partial sunburn. I dropped down today to 5gms, did 6 yesteday (6 is my "safe" dose) and I'm getting so low on pods I have no choice but to keep dropping. The rest of my supply was divided into this:

5gms, 4gms, 3gms, 3gms, 3gms, 3gms, 2gms, 1gm. I did 4-3gm doses because I honestly don't wanna get down to 2 at all. I'm hoping something changes by the time I reach 2gms, like either I get more pods to hold me or the meds I need. But looking at this situation realistically I'm not gonna have all the money I need till friday. So if I'm not ready to jump off again in about 7-8 days, I'm absolutely gonna need more pods.
My real goal was to stay at 5-6gms everyday untill the meds came. But I simply don't have enough pods to do that. So at some point later in this week I'm def gonna be throwin into that shitty sleep deprived hell of a life. My sleep was already cut back to 6 hours last night. And its truely amazing because 6gms really IS my "insomnia dose". Anything under 6 and I can't sleep 8hours no matter what.
I don't understand why the hell my body will NOT adapt to 5gms or under. Like how long to I have to stay on 6gms before I adjust to it? I would think like 2-3 days. But including now, and the last part of my taper, I've prob taking 6gms about 6-7 times, and everytime felt like dropping more would instantly trigger insomnia. Maybe is the 6gms alone thats doing it? I've been under 10gms now for like 2-3 weeks. With 8 days completely off. But going back to 6 even after the break I can NOT get 8 hours sleep no matter what. Like wtf? Are my receptors too lazy to finish upregulating? I'm perfectly fine with 6 hours of sleep, its getting down to 4gms or 3gms where I'm bound to start sleeping a couple hours every other day.
I'm just trying to sort out whether or not I REALLY need the sleep meds. If I'm gonna order them this weekend, they're not gonna be here till the following week, and I'm wondering if my body will finally actually begin to adjust to the lower doses (in terms of being able to sleep not really wds). I don't know theres just a lot of back and forth thinking right now. At least I have priorities though. I absolutely need money either way so I'll get as much as I can get together this week, and then plan maybe around friday what my next step will be.
Clonidine is cheap so I'm not worried about that, but valiums gonna put a nice hole in my wallet (I don't get prescriptions I do overseas fyi). If I knew I could surivive soley on the clonidine and get sleep, I'd just order it right now. Actually... I'm being rather dumb now that I think about it. Theres no reason I can't just order the clonidine right now and hold off on the valium till later this week. I can at least play around with dropping my dose and see how the clonidine works. But once I get this sleep thing situated I'll be fine. My only real worry atm is the fact I had to take 5gms today, and that could = about 4-5 hours of sleep. So I'm gonna load up on some immodium tonight and hope I can get at least 6 again. Wish me luck!
 
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Ok quick update. As I'm getting lower and lower I am already about halfway back into my insomnia fit so I went to reup today on pods. My old supplier finally went out of stock, and the only one left selling pods is the same person I told to fuck off a few weeks back lol, so I'm screwed in the aspect of getting more pods now.

I wouldn't even pay the prices the one douchebag is asking even if we were on good terms tbo.

So I'm resorting to more desperate measures. I'm gonna wind up making a standardized solution of suboxone in alcohol and using that to finish the taper. I know I couldn't taper it before, but I wasn't tapering properly to begin. I think if I just hop on around .25mg, I can decrease the dose slowly for a week till I'm down as low as I can get. And then I'm just gonna have to get the sleep meds here and use them when I go off the bupe. My only other option to hold me over is kratom, and at this point its not about whats easiest, its just doing it and getting it the fuck over with. If I take my pod dose today I'm absolutely not sleeping tonight, so I'm dosing .25mg sub right now in alcohol to see what kinda effect it has.
I figure I only need to stay on it till my sleep meds get here, and as long as I take the least amount I can I should be ok. I'm not dealing with wds anymore really I'm just staying on a low dose to keep some sleep. So lets hope this all works out at least I get to take the money I was gonna spend on pods now and put it towards more sleep meds, so maybe it was for the best who knows?
 
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Ya know that might just get you to where you want/need to be Bo. Obviously you know how to measure and dose carefully and by the sounds of it this might be much better than another box of pods.

Let us know how you felt after dosing the sub. If I could have gotten my hands on a few subs I would have done a fast taper using them and been done with this crap by now. This might just be the thing to make the difference. I hope so as I know you've been working so damn hard at this, especially as of late, and I'd love to see you catch a break.

Hang in there and keep us posted!
 
HamClamp said:
Let us know how you felt after dosing the sub. If I could have gotten my hands on a few subs I would have done a fast taper using them and been done with this crap by now.
Click to expand...

What makes you think that?

Getting off subs is just as hard.
 
^^ Getting off subs after a long period is hard (so I hear), using subs for a quick 3-5 day taper is very useful to some.

Bo - I think staying away from the kratom is a good thing for you. You tried that, it seemed to cause as many problems for you as it solved. A while back you said you wouldn't touch the subs again, so I didn't mention that I would have tried that subs at that point if I was you. I think what you are doing with the subs is a good plan.

When you can get the clonidine do it. My last rehab they put my on a catapres/clonidine patch when I was WD from oxy and benzos. It worked extremely well for me - but this was after I attempted 15 days of cold-turkey from the oxy/benzos.

Still hoping the best for you man, you're a smart and determined guy and I know you can do it.
 
^ And this post contributes how? *shrugs*

I've read a great many success stories of fast tapers using sub. If you've got experience, evidence, or conjecture to the contrary by all means post it up! Apparantly I'm in the wrong here so please school me and set my thinking right. I neither said nor implied that anything was easy. If you just want to bust my balls have at it but don't expect further responses.

Excuse me now while I go take an explosive crap. These withdrawals are a bitch.
 
Hamclamp you might not have said it was easier but don't you see thats basically what you implied? I mean if you could have just got on sub and tapered *quicker, thats basically what that means to most people. Carl and Jay have both done huge things for me ever since the begining of this taper, and I assure you Carl was not having a go at you. I think he was genuinely asking for why you thought that. And Im kinda curious myself if you ever actually tried going from pods to sub then tapering.

What he was refering to, is that its usually easier to taper off pods than to switch to subs, allow your body to adjust (which for me never really happened as I always felt I was missing something on sub which made it that much harder to drop doses).
Back when I went on vaca and was tapering off pods, I jumped onto subs and wound up staying on for 3 weeks not dropping even a fraction of a mg once I got down to .75mg. Anytime I tried to drop, I was slammed with horrific wds. It was honestly nothing like dropping the pods at all. But I also hadn't took the time to properly standardize by sub back then. So my "tapering" was done by cutting the subs into as many consistent smaller doses as I could. I would try to drop like .25mg, and it was impossible. I'd get hit with the worst fatigue and hotflashes in the world. Sub is like a nuclear bomb and pods are like an m-80 in terms of strength. So that just makes it even harder to know what dose to switch to when you get off the pods. Not to mention the partial agonist part of sub never really makes you feel quite right when you're use to a full agonist. I'd feel great on it no doubt, but its hard to explain that at the same time I always felt a bit "off".
I also overshot the transition, taking way more sub than I should have, and liked the feeling a lot initially. There was just a lot of different things going on that made it feel impossible to taper off of.

Have you ever tried switching from pods to subs before? I'm not trying to piss you off bro I just genuinely don't think Carl was being rude at all. And I think realistically hes just hinting at warnings in the best interest of people. But I definitely do not see you tapering faster at all using sub. It could easily go in the opposite direction and one day you wake up like I did realizing you just traded a joke of a pod habit, for something about 40 times stronger than pods.

I was NOT considering redoing the sub untill I realized I can't get more pods no matter what. So it was more like a "fuck it I'm doing this no matter what and the world can suck my dick" type of decision. The anger and impatience right now are whats going to make this work for me. I'm so sick and tired of trying this tactic, or this med, or this herb, or this dose, or switching this... and trying that. Like enough is enough at this point. I don't really give a shit if its difficult to drop the sub now, but I'm going about it completely different this time too.
First time I eyeballed doses and started at 2mg.
This time Im' measuring doses to the mg and started at exactly .25mg.

The difference is 1, I'm a crapload lower now with my tolerance and how doses affect me. So dropping .25mg to .20mg will be a joke compared to dropping from 2mg to 1mg, which is actually what I did before, than couldn't get under .75mg at all and stayed there for another 2 1/2 weeks. When I switched back from subs to pods I was in a world of hell. I wrote about it in this taper but it was 3 days of pretty bad wds. And I'm still not 100% sure why it happened. Sub kind showed me in a weird way how much worse opiate addictions can get compared to something like pods.

Today the .25mg however DID hold me over perfectly. I still think I overshot though because I had more energy today than yesterday, not a lot, but I basically felt normal, and feeling normal does not = receptors getting back to normal. Feeling somewhat shitty does.
Its later in the day, and my skin feels a bit flush, almost like it would feel coming down off a larger pods dose. I feel like I'm on the brink of having hotflashes, which I haven't had in a while, and its obviously the sub decreasing in my blood.
So tommorow I go straight to .20mg, see how I feel, and guage from there. But all I know is I want to get AS LOW AS I CAN on this shit because I DO NOT want my tolerance going back up even a fraction. So if I feel good at .20mg the following day is .15 and so on.
If a drop hurts, then I'll simply stablize for a day or 2. At this point I'm just so fed up with shit that all I care about is doing exactly what I need to do to be done for good.
I said in the first page of this thread "I'm trying to set a record with this taper"... HAHA yeh fucking right. I started this taper back on May 14th, its already August and I'm still not off. All I'm doing right now is getting as low as I can on the sub and waiting for my sleep meds. Once those fuckers arrive Im off this shit and sleeping for the next 2 weeks straight lol. Its hard to explain how fed up I am with drugs, it genuinely makes me sick inside all the effort I've had to exhaust just to get off a measily fucking pussy plant like pods. What a joke this taper has turned into. Alright let me go take a shower and chill out lol. A little fired up tonight.
 
HamClamp said:
^ And this post contributes how? *shrugs*

I've read a great many success stories of fast tapers using sub. If you've got experience, evidence, or conjecture to the contrary by all means post it up! Apparantly I'm in the wrong here so please school me and set my thinking right. I neither said nor implied that anything was easy. If you just want to bust my balls have at it but don't expect further responses.

Excuse me now while I go take an explosive crap. These withdrawals are a bitch.
Click to expand...

Sorry dude, I should have phrased that better. :o I think I just took it personally when you said you had wished you had taken sub because then you'd be done with the WD stuff. Maybe I interpreted that the wrong way, but I find the misconception that you won't have WDs with suboxone to be slightly annoying. For one thing, it's just down right incorrect, and it can be disappointing to people who think otherwise and think they have a magical escape-free pill. Additionally, I take it personally as I've struggled to get off suboxone and I have actually tapered off of it on 4 different occassions and it's been an absolute bitch every time.

I think I just took it as you not giving suboxone it's proper respect. Sorry that I wrote it in a interrogative way. If you heard me ask it outloud, you'd hear that my tone was more curious than anything.


If a quick sub taper works, kudos to you, I just think it would be worse if you expected everything to be gravy and then you found out that you still withdraw from sub.
 
Hey Carl- I'd like to aplogise. After sleeping on it I realized that I jumped all over you unjustly.

I can see how what I wrote might have read as if I was discounting the difficulty in coming off of sub.

Thank you for your apology and I hope you'll accept mine.

We're good. *virtual handshake*

Peace.
 
Ok so I was complaining earlier this week that I didn't have enough money and now I'm complaining that I don't have enough free time lol.

Nah I won't complain about that. But at the end of this week I should be about $700 wealtheir so I'll absolutely have more than enough money to get all my sleep meds and clonidine. It just sucks a bit because I've bound myself to about 3 different and somewhat large sidejobs that are gonna take a lot of hours to do. So I'm literally working everyday this week, and will try to space the rest of the work over the next 2 weeks. But at least I figured out my money situation without needing to apply for 1000 jobs. Sidejobs have always been a large source of income for me, so I shouldn't be complaining about all the work.

Today I took .20mg sub and actually felt the same as yesterday. I imagine with sub it takes about 2-3 days for drops to properly catch up. So I don't plan on dropping to .15 for another 2days. I actually feel a lot more stable though on the sub just having that little bit working later in the night. I'm still skeptical as to whether or not I'm taking too much, but as long as I keep the dose going down my tolerance shouldn't really jump up at all.

It *MAY* actually be possible to taper the sub to the point where I don't have terrible rebound insomnia in the first place. I was thinking about this today about how ridiculously precise I can measure my sub compared to pods. I can measure doses at intervals of .025mgs, so Im thinking if I get down to .025 slowly and stop, I might not even need the sleep meds. Although it could take 2 weeks to do that, so I'm still getting the sleep meds and plan on stopping the sub in about a week from now. We'll just see how it goes and plan from there.

And whats great is I only got 6 hours of sleep which is what I was getting on my 6gms of pods, so I DO think I matched my dose pretty close. I'm curious how low I can actually get on the sub before my sleep really gets thrown off, but whats cool is I can dose so precisely now that its SO MUCH easier to control my taper.

I still think if I had started at 2mg like last time the euphoric feelings would be too fresh in my mind to want to drop. I don't have the self control to do shit like that, and I realize now the last time I jumped onto sub going to 2mgs the first day had to be the STUPIDEST thing I ever did. I got pretty high that day and came here saying "I think the subs holding me pretty well" lol. No shit it was holding me well I could have prob took only .5mg back then and still been fine.. who knows. But I feel like because I'm not getting any remote euphoria at all, and because my energy is still a bit low, that its just enough to keep me going.

Euphoria of any kind is a massive trigger for me, I should have known after my first first day on sub that I wasn't gonna wanna stop anytime soon. So I feel good about being on .20mg, it definitely feels like a dose I have 100% control over now.

Alright well not much more to add today. Will keep updating as usual as things come along.
 
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Glad you checked in Bo!

That's pretty clever putting the sub into solution so you can measure those tiny amounts. I've read of people trying to split a pill 8 ways and never thought about using a solution. Very clever indeed.

You're sounding much better with a little bit of sleep. It's amazing what sleep depreivation can do to a persons entire being. I'm just really glad to hear from you and hear you sounding good.

Hang in there, stay the course- you're doing great!
 
Ok we have to finish this thread properly now because I'm feeling 100% for the first time in a loooong time and I want people to see that this story ended well.

I eventually broke and went to the doctor today just because my blood pressure was getting out of control with the headaches and shaking it was causing. It was in stage 2 hypertension and he instantly prescribed me clonidine, which was perfect because it was EXACTLY what I needed.
It was much cheaper than I expected too so the whole money situation worked out fine. He also reupped my inderal for school which I took on top of the 50mcgs of clonidine. And I also have been taking kava kava with these very potent herbal detox pills (which are also a godsend).

But I basically took my last sub dose saturday morning, at .10mg, and its thursday evening now. I was on .25 for about 2 weeks and literally dropped it that last few days of the taper than just stopped. I honestly didn't know it was my last dose at the time, but when I realized that no severe RLS was manifesting I basically took it day by day, waiting for the wds to escalate when they only actually got better.

I feel light, I feel free, I feel optimistic, I feel DONE with this 3 months struggle. I really just feel like a million bucks.
And I also think the real culprit here was the stage 2 hypertension, a reading of 235/147 is NO JOKE and I suspect now that was aggravating the shit out of any symptoms I was experiencing. Because now thats it down to normal it seems every bit of wd has dissappeared. And the best part is theres no "ups and downs". I don't feel good for a few hours than shitty afterwards, I finally just feel stable. Not to mention my gross sweating has finally stopped too.

This is proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. although comparing a taper to a rainbow is really a horrible metaphor, more like a pot of gold at the end of hell.

I slept 7 hours last night, no depression, no anxiety, and I'm not worried about any rebound from the herbs I'm on cause I'm gonna taper them off and only have a little bit anyway. The clonidine I will stay on for about 2 weeks and than bridge to inderal which I use for public speaking at my uni.

I have to say it sucked terribly to have went back to sub after my 8 days off pods, but I was in such a scary mindset sleeping 2 hours in those last 3 days and thinking about driving my car off the road. So I look back and think "could I really have fought through it?" and I just don't think I could have. I was too exhausted and dragging the end of the taper out for 3 more weeks was just was I needed.

I think it also gave me time to get over other shit because my mood is pretty positive right now. I actually feel optimistic and enthused towards life. The only thing missing still is that natural energy but I'm sure it will come back soon enough.

I still have 2 things left to seal this thread off and its my "tips" write up, and my video of an exploding poppy pod for helpme. I'll still be hanging out on these forums everyday I just won't really be posting in here anymore. But I do want to put some serious time into this little write up I'm doing so it may not be up for another 2-3 days.

I just want people to know I'm off the opiates, and theres no negative shit going on at all that will force me to go back to them. The addiction is officially broke, and its time to create a life for myself again from the ground up. Work, school, get married, get a dog, and do all the normal shit us addicts seem to despise =] but I'm really excited about all of this. Its really the feeling of just feeling healthy thats the most liberating, it does such profound things for your mind/mood it really is amazing.

And I have 1 official thank you for the entire bluelight forum for getting me through this time in my life...

so THANK YOU!!!
 
So good to hear Bo, you had a much harder time with getting off pods than I did and it was painful at times to hear about your struggles. I'm hoping now it is even much more sweet for you to have reached the finish line. Much love brother! (And I hear you about being off the opiates and now having the option of finding long-term companionship. I feel blessed to have that road open to me again, it's a great feeling.)
 
Awesome news my friend

You've finally reached the end of that long road and I am very happy for you bro. As for the energy, I think it will increase given some time. I was a lazy bastard myself before I stopped opiates so it doesn't surprise me in the least that I don't have crazy energy levels since quitting. I do have MORE overall than I ever did on opiates. There are little perks here and there, I suppose life is just more tolerable in general off of opiates. But you'll see, it's mostly a good thing.

For me the challenge was often staying clean, but for some reason I don't think that will be an issue for you. I guess it's no longer an issue for me either, my days of doing opiates are done whether I like it or not. I am accepting of this, I just wish I could have gotten to this point without getting arrested. Ah well, live and learn.

I too will be looking forward to seeing a video of a poppy bursting into flames =D
 
Congratulations Bo! I look forward to the burning pod video. I do hope you can find all things you want to be happy and sober in your life. You are so young and have so much to live for. I also hope you don't have any lingering symptoms like PAWS though I have no clue what that is.
 
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