Have I ruined 'the magic' and permanetly damaged my brain?

[Dizwayxe]

I is currently 16 and has started doing MDMA, MDA and the occasional meth bomb last year, which I used to only do once every month or two but, recently I has been doing it a lot more.

I has done MDMA 7 times (averaging 3 points per night), MDA twice, and 2 meth bombs in the past 11 weeks, and has have never done drugs twice in the same week.

As of three weeks ago SWIM has been taking regular doses of 5HTP before and after rolling.

I is planning on going to a rave on saturday (four days from now) [it will have been exactly 7 days from the last roll] and doing about 4 points of pure MDMA.

My question is, am I seriosley damaging my cognitive brain functions and serotinergic receptors? I have read that each time you do ecstasy it slightly damages your serotonin receptors by making them regenerate serotonin slower and with less yield, is this true?

P.S: This rave is supposed to be fucking sick.

 

[khald]

No need for SWIMing here. It makes it harder to read, and it doesn't protect you. That and you used 'I' in your title.

I have done MDMA 7 times (averaging 3 points per night), MDA twice, and 2 meth bombs in the past 11 weeks, and have never done drugs twice in the same week.

First question: do you test your drugs? If you're going to be abusing MDMA like you are now, (I strongly advise against it) please, at least get a test kit.

As of three weeks ago I have been taking regular doses of 5HTP before and after rolling.

It seems that people on this board are starting to use the term "losing the magic" much more freely than it should be. From my understanding, losing the magic is the term used when there are no positives of dosing MDxx, and the negative side effects are largely magnified, regardless of dose. This [usually] occurs over prolonged [ab]use.

If you're trying to describe the lessening of the effects of MDMA, it's probably because you're raising your tolerance at an extreme rate. Also, taking 5HTP too soon to dropping MDMA will also lessen the MDxx high.

I am planning on going to a rave on saturday.
My question is, am I seriously damaging my cognitive brain functions and serotinergic receptors? I have read that each time you do ecstasy it slightly damages your serotonin receptors by making them regenerate serotonin slower and with less yield, is this true?

I'm no scientist on exactly what MDMA does, damage-wise to your serotonin receptors, but if you keep taking MDxx at your current rate, you are going to suffer some side effects. Depression, anxiety, etc. There have been many posts on BL about cognitive deficiency from much more responsible MDMA usage than yours.

tldr:
Stop taking mdma, 16 is way too young to be dosing MDMA imo; you're abusing the shit out of it, and you're gonna suffer eventually, if you aren't already. The human body is an amazing machine, but it won't always bounce back if you keep beating the shit out of it.

edit: for clarity.

 

[Pans-Advocate]

16 is way way too young to be eating MDxx 4 points at a time, or 9 times in 3 months. In fact, there is no age at which this is safe, but it is especially bad if you are still in the middle of being a teenager. Stop. If you don't you will be very, very sorry someday soon. Seriously.

 

[RGB]

Agreed with the above two posters (great advice, you two ).

I have to add that if you're going to keep using MDMA, you should put *at least* a month between uses and also keep your dosage to something reasonable like 100-200mg a night. 400mg of MDMA is a ridiculous amount to be using, and is nearing the level at which damage has been demonstrated in lab animals.

(Mini-rant coming up, and not just directed at you...it's been on my mind for a while.)

MDMA can be a beautiful thing when it's respected, and it's really a loss for the person who loses the potential to enjoy it because of initial overuse. On a larger scale (and not to lecture you), but I think it would be a good idea to examine why you've used so frequently over the past few weeks. If it's because you simply didn't know not to, then I'm glad that you asked here to get a check. If it's because you see Ecstasy as "happiness pills" that can magically turn any experience into a great time, then I have to warn you that nothing can support that attitude. "Losing the magic", in my opinion, has turned from a more or less clinical definition into an expression of frustration at trusting a substance with one's happiness and being disappointed. If you want to continue to enjoy drug use in general, I highly recommend you to view drugs as tools to enhance an experience that would be fun without drugs, rather than means to put yourself in a good mood or guarantee a fun time.

Not that there's anything wrong with having a good time...but you get my drift, hopefully.

 

[Dizwayxe]

ok thanks for everyones opinions/suggestions. i will not do MDMA at the rave on saturday. although i WILL do MDMA at another rave a few weeks from now, then i will be done with it till halloween, then forever. farewell mdma

 

[Doktah]

Dizwayxe, forever? If you can pull that off then I have a metric fuckton of respect for you man. I know I wouldn't be able to. However, I am currently putting my use on Hiatus until my next birthday (January 25th). I want to be able to have an amazing night off of two pills tops, not eating 4 and railing 2 like I had gotten to. You don't wanna get there, it's shit in its purest form.

 

[Anomaly88]

Im 17 and i just started rolling a couple months back. Started doing it like every week for 2 weeks and then stopped a week and did it again. I already feel the anxiety and depression and it seems like the 3rd roll wasnt as magical as the 1st and 2nd rolls were. Im prolly going to take a break cause i dont want any long term effects. But this event this saturday is supposed to be bomb so i might just drop one last time

 

[Dizwayxe]

i too feel the depression known as 'suicide tuesday' >.>

 

[Liquid Sunshine]

Agreed with the above two posters (great advice, you two ).

I have to add that if you're going to keep using MDMA, you should put *at least* a month between uses and also keep your dosage to something reasonable like 100-200mg a night. 400mg of MDMA is a ridiculous amount to be using, and is nearing the level at which damage has been demonstrated in lab animals.

(Mini-rant coming up, and not just directed at you...it's been on my mind for a while.)

MDMA can be a beautiful thing when it's respected, and it's really a loss for the person who loses the potential to enjoy it because of initial overuse. On a larger scale (and not to lecture you), but I think it would be a good idea to examine why you've used so frequently over the past few weeks. If it's because you simply didn't know not to, then I'm glad that you asked here to get a check. If it's because you see Ecstasy as "happiness pills" that can magically turn any experience into a great time, then I have to warn you that nothing can support that attitude. "Losing the magic", in my opinion, has turned from a more or less clinical definition into an expression of frustration at trusting a substance with one's happiness and being disappointed. If you want to continue to enjoy drug use in general, I highly recommend you to view drugs as tools to enhance an experience that would be fun without drugs, rather than means to put yourself in a good mood or guarantee a fun time.

Not that there's anything wrong with having a good time...but you get my drift, hopefully.

Quoted for fucking truth

 

[yougeekay]

am i the only person that can abuse the shit out of ecstacy an not feel any side effects? ive rolled weekend after weekend at a time, even rolled 9 days in a row (on real pills good ones, green equal sign mints and green astrics that will blow you out of the water), ill casually take molly throughout the week if i can find it...i never have any bad come downs or depression after, no trouble with cognitive functions, no anxiety..NOT that anyone should follow my footsteps i kno im retarded.....but after all of it, im still fine, perfectly fine and i know im not the craziest person out there so i wonder how much it really takes to fuck your shit up. cause honestly if you have quality product i dont think mdma is that bad of a substance besides the immediate side effects like body temp heart rate, but after a few days i feel like its all good.

 

[Dizwayxe]

theres proven reasearch that it does fuck your shit... but how bad is the question. and maybe your brain reacts differently somehow... or maybe you just dont realize how e-tarded u are because your so used to it?

 

[WorldWarMe]

It's pretty hard to lose the magic (not that I challenge you to that). I've used MDMA for 5 or so years, and the first two-three years I was very irresponsible with it. I was doing it multiple times a week, sometimes up to three times a week. At this time I had no idea the damage that Ecstasy had on the brain. I continued this (sometimes once a week, sometimes three times a week) for one or two years. At this point I was addicted to MDMA and knew I had to quit, so I quit cold turkey for 1.5 years. After those 1.5 years I decided to try it again to test the magic (during the 1.5 years I educated myself on everything MDMA and realized how retarded I was being, I had thought I lost the magic) and after one pill I was rolling balls. Ever since then I never do it more then once every one or two months to assure my brain has time to recover.

Overall, it's hard to lose the magic, but it's something you don't exactly want to try and lose. Keep your usage spaced out my minimum one month and you should be fine.

 

[khald]

ok thanks for everyones opinions/suggestions. i will not do MDMA at the rave on saturday. although i WILL do MDMA at another rave a few weeks from now, then i will be done with it till halloween, then forever. farewell mdma

Major props to you, dude. I hope you can stick to your goal, or maybe re-visit MDMA in the future at a more responsible level, and enjoy its effects without causing major damage to yourself. Best of luck.

am i the only person that can abuse the shit out of ecstacy an not feel any side effects? ive rolled weekend after weekend at a time, even rolled 9 days in a row (on real pills good ones, green equal sign mints and green astrics that will blow you out of the water), ill casually take molly throughout the week if i can find it...i never have any bad come downs or depression after, no trouble with cognitive functions, no anxiety..NOT that anyone should follow my footsteps i kno im retarded.....but after all of it, im still fine, perfectly fine and i know im not the craziest person out there so i wonder how much it really takes to fuck your shit up. cause honestly if you have quality product i dont think mdma is that bad of a substance besides the immediate side effects like body temp heart rate, but after a few days i feel like its all good.

Does your habit still continue? I think the damage (or lack of) is gonna vary from person to person, and also will depend on your dosage, and of course, like you said, purity of product.

At the worst of my usage, I was dosing .5g of molly every other week, sometimes more. Even at that level of usage, I felt like I was starting to lack in the 'thinking' department. I can say that I didn't really suffer from anxiety or depression, though..

Either way, MDMA use has/can/will cause negative side effects, and I still stand by my statement that the human body is amazing at bouncing back, but if you keep pushing it, it'll give out eventually. (not a direct reference to you, btw)

 

[LonE1]

am i the only person that can abuse the shit out of ecstacy an not feel any side effects? ive rolled weekend after weekend at a time, even rolled 9 days in a row (on real pills good ones, green equal sign mints and green astrics that will blow you out of the water), ill casually take molly throughout the week if i can find it...i never have any bad come downs or depression after, no trouble with cognitive functions, no anxiety..NOT that anyone should follow my footsteps i kno im retarded.....but after all of it, im still fine, perfectly fine and i know im not the craziest person out there so i wonder how much it really takes to fuck your shit up. cause honestly if you have quality product i dont think mdma is that bad of a substance besides the immediate side effects like body temp heart rate, but after a few days i feel like its all good.

Try taking 6 months off, and ull see exactly how bad mdma damaged you.

Keep thinking its not doing anything, but i can 100% guarentee ud be shocked how different things are.

Source: Someone who has rolled tons, and has quit doing mdma, and has been clean for 7 months, and feels incredible.

 

[khald]

^ agreed.

 

[yougeekay]

Try taking 6 months off, and ull see exactly how bad mdma damaged you.

Keep thinking its not doing anything, but i can 100% guarentee ud be shocked how different things are.

Source: Someone who has rolled tons, and has quit doing mdma, and has been clean for 7 months, and feels incredible.

i bet your totally right, hopefully one day i can make that happen.

 

[Nirk]

Well when I was younger I did it most weekends for about a year and occasionally for the few years before that and it definately damaged my brain to some extent!

I used to smoke a lot of cannabis when I was young as well and have done quite a few other drugs on occasions....

I was pretty much forced to stop doing these things regularily etc. as I was getting quite useless at my job with memory, being polite to customers etc. So I left my job and took a few months holiday to recover.... I wasn't entirely "right" for years after etc.

Just saying that dont expect to do mdma all the time and not suffer any long term side effects.... It is a GREAT drug and my favourite.... I would still do it if I could actually get hold of some pure stuff in the UK but I would never do it more than like once every few months and also not do big doses anymore. I would say give it a break and only use it in small amounts on rare occasions.... you have been warned it will f**k you up if you do it too much for prolonged periods!!

 

[General joy]

The term moderation seems to slip most peoples minds. It's amazing how much abuse goes on.

 

[jamaica0535]

So in a retrospective kind of mindset over the past couple of years.

When i first started using MDMA, it kind of got out of hand. When i say that i mean that i maintained about 6 months of pretty regular weekend rolling. Then i took a several month break and decided to use moderation. Kept it down to a once a month thing for a while. It gets a little more difficult to maintain the moderation when your dating someone else who enjoys rolling so i kind of sliped for a little while.

At the current time i have decided to quit for a while after one last good roll with my girlfriend. I feel that over the course of the last couple of years the MDMA has benefited me in certain ways and harmed me in others. It has helped me become more social and open about myself to others, got me into music, fire poi, and a scene that i love. That being said, im starting to notice depression that always rolls around near tuesday when i roll over the weekend. I am kind of scatter brained and lose my train of thought. I feel like my brain needs a rest.

Rolling is still epically wonderful for me, things feel amazing, music is intensely awesome, trance out and dance until exhaustion. But i hate the depression that hits me days afterwards and the residual effects from what happens when you use this drug on and off a little heavier than your should for years....

 

[Nirk]

The term moderation seems to slip most peoples minds. It's amazing how much abuse goes on.

Probably down to being young and ignorant.... then after a while you start noticing more negative effects etc. which forces you to either calm down or suffer the consequences.