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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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extended Seroquen

I just passed 48 hrs, and so far so good. I dropped the Seroquel dose to 50mg. before bed and started a 6 day tramadol taper at 200mg. I sincerely appreciate the comments youall have made.
I think my original post really should have been in BDD, so I reposted it there. I'd still like to know if anyone has ever done a detox that used 200mg Seroquel as an opioid replacement for 7 nites. I'll let youall know how it goes for me. God bless.
 
Almost all my work in at night. And like most in my field, I must spend most of the day in preparation for that work. In fact, the work preparing and the work itself tend to blend into one thing.

For me, its been a life of opiates and eventially heroin to keep things going, motivation, but mainly staying out of my own way and not allowing the "flotsom and jetsom" of life get me down or get in my way so I can focus on what I know needs to be done. Take care of business. No jive. You know.

But for me, such a continued life is a utopia. Dope's gonna turn on you eventially--and that's when I go right to subs. and just chill on them. I don't like it--but getting really dragged down into dope or trying to get straight don't work either.

I know and know of many ppl who have died going down this route. 4 me--its the only way I know.

I'm wondering how some of you other souls have dealt with all of THIS.
 
bagochina said:
What did she recommend for treating addiction induced depression? Because I could use some :)

Just about 2 months [I think clean from opiates] and about a month clean from benzos. I am FINALLY starting to feel a little better. Although I have been extremely lazy for the last month and I mean lazy. I have been sleeping till like 2pm, not eating right, not exercising, and beating myself up over how I am not where I want to be.

Its strange that I know what I think I need to do to feel better but I dont do it. The drugs are gone but I am not really making an effort to change 'me' and how I function. Like ok time to grow up and get a job finish school, etc. Truthfully a job is a daunting thing for me and it shouldn't be but my resume and history is well pretty blank. Sigh. Things are pretty good other than that though but it seems like I just focus on the negatives which makes me say oh well not today...

Feeling and looking ALOT better though so that is good.

peace.
seedless
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Hey well done, 2 months. It feels like forever huh? I have basically the same time and all the same feelings! My advice - GET BUSY. It's the hardest thing to do when you're depressed, but it's the best thing- being perpetually distracted from what you're feeling. I'm sure it's not much of a long term answer! But for now it's really helping me. I work all weekend day and night, and that's when I feel the best. During the week I craaaave, i feel depressed, tired, frustrated, I question everything and come close to giving up. But then the weekend comes again and distracts me enough.

Now I need to listen to my own advice and find things to better fill my time during the week..

How to be busy when you're depressed? Do the things you don't want to do. It's tough, really tough, and it takes alot of disciplne and determination. But it's pretty simple - do the things you don't want to do. Go for that walk, see that friend today (not next week), apply for that job, take your resume round, call your family, don't eat that and DO eat that! You know the right things to do, it's common sense yes? The hard part is doing them, and the hardest part is to keep on doing them after you do it once.
But if you succeed it pays off, and you start to feel a bit better. You can be proud, busy, social, and distracted from feeling like shit. Sounds good huh?

But start small, don't try to do everything at once... just regularly choose the thing that's better for you.
Keep us posted seedless <3
 
I hope you don't mind my jumping in here... I'm new here and trying to get off opiates (I made an intro post already in the newbies area so I don't want to have to retype it)...

on day 3 now of wds and have a final exam in a couple hours. :!

when does the shaking and craving and sweating and sickness stop...?? I thought weaning down to get off would prevent all the wd... :(
 
^^^ Well the worst should be over in 5-7 days. Your on day 3 which is the worst day usually no matter which way you go about it. After 5 days you should start to feel abit better.
 
I still am unsure where to go. I did not attend the clinic all weekend and couldn't make it today. I haven't found anything as helpful so far as Methadone. It takes away my cravings, w/d, and it makes me feel real nice but clear headed. I will be going back to the clinic tomorrow for awhile because I don't know where to turn. I tried Subs those are just god awful. Make you sick ( I think I am allergic), and it doesn't make you not want to get high and when you do get high on that its such a bitch getting to where you need to be even after the 30hr mark.
 
How long did you wait to take the subs?

If you're switching from methadone to suboxone, you need to wait longer than the standard 24 hours because of methadone's half life. Otherwise you'll get really sick from them, I doubt it was because you're allergic.

Anyway about it, being on methadone is better than being on dope. Hope you're able to find what works for you.
 
eon_blue said:
How long did you wait to take the subs?

If you're switching from methadone to suboxone, you need to wait longer than the standard 24 hours because of methadone's half life. Otherwise you'll get really sick from them, I doubt it was because you're allergic.

Anyway about it, being on methadone is better than being on dope. Hope you're able to find what works for you.
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I was never on Sub that long. I just had to cut down because I Was going through about 600 bucks every 2 weeks on dope (which is very cheap) and I started shooting up and when I started I did it a Lot. I slipped up a few days ago and thought I killed myself. Took alot of morphine dont care shot up twice didnt think about it blah. Stop breathing for awhile. Now im using morphine to get by till tomorrow. Im about to go to sleep. My life is so god damn awkward and it bothers me.
 
Soon I'll be getting some h here at home (I got badly addicted OS). This drug is in my soul. There is absolutely no way I will stay away from it. Oh god help me where's my life going..
I don't know why I'm writing this..
 
^^heroin does fill your soul and without it you feel like an empty shell..it took me a LONG TIME to clean myself out and start to actually feel decent..i still have days where i dont feel right and its been 4 plus years since getting clean!its no joke...

as for getting clean and then beating yourself up over the money u spent and lost time, u need to change your thoughts because that is one way to just stay depressed...one thing about being sober though is when i have days of free time i have a hard time just finding fun/consturtcive things to do...i often find myself wondering 'what do sober people do?'
 
I know most will disagree with me , but if you're having opiate issues Methadone is the way to go. It kills off my depression. Its not like other opiates/oids. It feels, nice, nd doesn't put me in a "hole". I can function and do things on it. I can actually be active on it. Fuck Subs. Sorry. They just suck IMO.
 
Of course you can do all those things, since you're still on an opiate. But just like all the other opiates, once your tolerance keeps rising those effects will start to fade away, even taking ungodly amounts of done'. Once the party's over and you're getting off the done' it'll be far from a good time. Enjoy it while you can I guess...:)
 
4 yrs later belfort? And you still feel like you do? Shit..

You mention an empty shell, that's pretty accurate. My time and my mind feels so empty and long and stretched, but ontop of that emptiness is this heartbreaking and relentless craving. It goes on and on and my mind just keeps coming back to it. I feel like I spend literally half of every day just longing for heroin. It's so fucking constant it wears me down so much. Do you guys have anything to say about this part?
 
How long has it been since you last used?

Finding things to do or getting out of the house or areas that remind you of using is key for eliminating those cravings. It's really difficult to do at first and takes time, effort, and patience. It's worth it though.

One of the things that always made me feel empty at those points are when I'd look back over the last few months/years and see how much time I lost or wasted getting high or trying to get high or thinking about getting high or feeling shitty from getting high. Usually just made me feel worse. Getting up and doing things really helps restore that emptiness.
 
Good advice Carl, thanks. And you're right - easier said than done! I try exactly that though, I usually just plow through feeling miserable but then get distracted for a while! It definitely helps.

I'm only.. 8 weeks off it.
 
BananasAndOranges said:
I still am unsure where to go. I did not attend the clinic all weekend and couldn't make it today. I haven't found anything as helpful so far as Methadone. It takes away my cravings, w/d, and it makes me feel real nice but clear headed. I will be going back to the clinic tomorrow for awhile because I don't know where to turn. I tried Subs those are just god awful. Make you sick ( I think I am allergic), and it doesn't make you not want to get high and when you do get high on that its such a bitch getting to where you need to be even after the 30hr mark.
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Other than the reason I use subs (to avoid withdrawal) is to STOP using so if you want to continue using then why go on subs? Of course you can't get hi on them. That's the concept. To stop using. Never understood that argument. Either you want to stop using or don't want to stop. Relapse is part of recovery but there is a difference between relapse and planning on using again. That's not trying to get clean. I don't know what that is actually. Either admit you want to use, or decide to quit. Addiction only works one way. You use or you don't use.
 
MidnightBaby I totally understand what you mean when you talk about the cravings. Some of mine have been insane! I used poppy tea for 2 years and am proud to say that I am 17 days clean from the shit but it's been a struggle every day, I swear! I had some days at work where it was like every part of my body was screaming for some tea to fall into that bliss again but I just can't.

My parents are too aware of the whole thing and I know that taking pod tea is the easy way out and I should face my problems head on instead of run away from them for 2 years. What has 2 years of poppy pod tea use gotten me? Some of the best feelings in the world, followed by some of the worst. I've accomplished nothing but fucked with my brain chemistry and made it difficult to feel happy. And 17 days after dropping cold turkey I'm still not right. I only feel about 60% better.

I regret the day I found out about poppy tea. God I feel so empty, nothing fills the void left behind except for time. Ad that's really all I can do - live day by day at this point.
 
I have used heroin once in the last 5 yrs. Subs for the last 8 yrs. almost 3 months with out opiates or benzos [I did take 2mg of ativan today cause my hands were shaking, I HATE that shit]. I seriously think that I tapered/dropped off my long term benzo habit to quick because it was an intense w/d that lasted almost a year, bad sucked. Than I took them again for a couple months to get of the bupe. I think I fuct something up because its not normal to have my hands shake.

But thats about it. Absolutely NO cravings for opiates. I did take some adderall xr today [and suprisingly I wasnt lazy and got things accomplished and felt great] Adderall killed me in the past but the past months? I have been soooo apathetic, lazy, and unmotivated. I do consider in the back of my mind hmm maybe I should get another add script but a low level one as man I am so lazy its almost indescribable. I suppose that is normal for what I put myself thru and its still early 3 months I really dont need amps to get me going but it would help. I dont know.

I got drunk and now I will get stoned. Big whoop, although in some fraction of my mind I feel guilty for stuff. why? Probably NA AA trying to control me :) Things are good, I need to get laid.

peace.
seedless

edit. stoned :)
 
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Thanks for the update man, glad you're doing well. :) Since the first time I tried heroin in October 2005, I don't think I've gone more than 6 weeks without suboxone or some other opiate/opioid. I know you had a much more extensive and longer habit, so for you to make it this far is really impressive and inspiring.


Getting arrested has really added to my stress and anxiety levels a lot. I keep getting to the point where I think I'd just be a few days away from getting off sub, but then I end up getting high. I'm not even looking anymore though, pills keep coming to me lately. I know I should be better about saying no, but getting off sub has been a bitch so far. It seems more difficult than previous times, but that whole arrested thing definitely threw me in a loop.

I have made progress and I am on a very, very low dose of sub now (well actually atm it's morphine), but I had been taking around .25mg every 12-13 hours and now I'm taking less than .2mg every 22-25 hours. Those stretches are annoying, but they probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't keep getting high every 5 days. :\


It's hard to ignore these pills too because it's from the one friend I really hang out with a lot. Unfortunately I'm witnessing him start to go down a slippery slope. I feel like if I take a firmer stance against doing pills and stuff, he'll just hang out with these other people who he's been getting the pills from even more. Then I'll hang out with no one and he'll do even more pills? I don't know, he's seen all the shit I've gone through, don't know how to get through to him that he's on a very bad path.
 
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