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Possible to crave like this?

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Monica43

Greenlighter
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
3
Location
Murrieta,CA
Hey everyone, new member to the forums after reading for quite some time and just decided to register but I kind of have a small problem.

So about 3 months ago I rolled for the first time and ended up passing out at the friends house I rolled at and my night was pretty much ruined and the past two weeks or so I feel like I've been craving to roll again. Is this normal? It was by far the only high I ever felt because it was the first drug again and it was just amazing. The thing is though, I've been diagnosed as bipolar about 4 years ago and I'm not sure if that's what's affecting me so much. I'm not sure if it's normal but I'd just like some input on the situation if anyone here knows.

Like I almost feel shaky and nervous I want to do it again so bad, it's weird.
 
Maybe just a little strong craving than most, but we all get it. I was craving real hard after my first time too. Gotten easier each time, will power's getting stronger.
 
The unmedicated bipolar people I've known felt the same way. The problem is that MDMA seems to MAGNIFY the disorder. Higher highs, lower lows, and a faster cycle. This is anecdote, so take it with a grain of salt, but that's three different people I've known.

All of them are now on SSRIs.
 
Bipolar people are more susceptible to addiction. I know 2 bipolar people. 1 is an absolute retard who used to buy mdma everyday and was never taking anything for his bipolar disorder. The other is my friend who also abuses mdma. Who knows if she'll ever get better because she goes on and off her prozac constantly, frequently stopping before it could've possibly had any significant effect. She's off it now and claims she's better than ever but how can I believe that when I know she was up for days the week prior drunk and eating speedy pills like candy?

Try sticking to your meds if your on any and if you really want to......just be very mindful and try to space your rolls out.
 
I've been on my meds pretty much the whole time I've been diagnosed, maybe miss a pill in the morning every now and then but yeah, I think I'm going to stay away from it from now because I don't really like the feeling of wanting to do it again. :P

Thanks for the responses everyone, appreciate them a lot. :D
 
I experienced that and so did my friends when we first started doing e. Every time I thought about doing it again I would get almost shakey, my heart rate sped up, my stomach starting aching and I got really happy...weird stuff but very common with new users. It kept up like that for me for a year, it goes away eventually though. I actually kind of miss it! Enjoy :)
 
After my 3rd or 4th time doing mdma, I was rolling like everyweekend I would like crave it everyday. It was bad, I abused it so much back then. But now, I couldn't careless if mdma even existed. I haven't taken mdma for about over a month now, don't plan on rolling till late june (:
 
If you have bipolar disorder, you should not be messing around with recreational substances. Even alcohol and caffeine are known to trigger manic episodes in people who have bipolar disorder. MDMA is one of the worst things that you could take in your situation. That said, I also have bipolar disorder and I had to learn the hard way that bipolar + drugs = bad things, so I can't blame you if you go ahead and experiment anyway, but something really terrible may happen to you because of it.

In my experience, staying away from drugs and staying on my medications is much better than almost dying from the sort of stupid shit one does while manic.
 
graugeist said:
If you have bipolar disorder, you should not be messing around with recreational substances. Even alcohol and caffeine are known to trigger manic episodes in people who have bipolar disorder. MDMA is one of the worst things that you could take in your situation. That said, I also have bipolar disorder and I had to learn the hard way that bipolar + drugs = bad things, so I can't blame you if you go ahead and experiment anyway, but something really terrible may happen to you because of it.

In my experience, staying away from drugs and staying on my medications is much better than almost dying from the sort of stupid shit one does while manic.
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Yeah, I knew I shouldn't have done it but I made the choice to and here I am now. Wasn't the best choice but as long as I keep myself from not calling anyone up who has some I *hope* I'll be fine until I get over the cravings.
But I never did know that caffeine could bring a episode up, good information there. But yeah, this happened a couple months ago and still just about every day I feel like this but like I said, I'm sure it will pass.
Again thank you for the information everyone, I'm going to stay away from the bad stuff for a while now.
 
Yea i'm bipolar as well & have gone on many rolling binges..some lasting up to a week, going through 1g of MDMA

I think it must be typical to crave MDMA regardless tho maybe the way some of us obsess over being in that drug-state of mind is indicative of something

I medicate with ADHD meds (stims), which greatly curb my craving & impulsive behavior. I know it won't work forever tho

I don't know the answer. I still go manic on a regular basis (1-2x month) but i will never go on anti-psychotics again. They made me worse. For now i will keep benzos on-hand for manic episodes
 
^i think it's self-medicating. at least for me, i've always felt more normal / myself on drugs than sober.. it's like i can't express myself effectively or otherwise function without drugs/meds

drugs are like a switch that turn my brain on

anyway, i think since MDMA in particular allows people to express themselves more openly it's very freeing to those of us who are otherwise hindered by mental issues that sort of block our ability to be effective & experience joy

...even tho it's superficial & short-lived :(
 
Ive rolled every weekend since i first started taking E 3 months ago. I do get cravings but there not bad at all, I think its cause i comfort myself with the fact that the weekend will eventually come.
 
ThizzMon$teR said:
Ive rolled every weekend since i first started taking E 3 months ago. I do get cravings but there not bad at all, I think its cause i comfort myself with the fact that the weekend will eventually come.
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Craving when you do it every weekend? You're setting yourself up for some bad days ahead of you.
 
TearItDown said:
Craving when you do it every weekend? You're setting yourself up for some bad days ahead of you.
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I know :(
I am taking a break though. I know you should only do it once a month but im afraid when I decide to transition Im gonna get mean cravings. I think I can handle myself though, Im still young and when comes down to it I handle my business. Plus so far it really hasnt affected my life accept i got sick once but that was cause I mixed other drugs with it.
 
ThizzMon$teR said:
I know :(
I am taking a break though. I know you should only do it once a month but im afraid when I decide to transition Im gonna get mean cravings. I think I can handle myself though, Im still young and when comes down to it I handle my business. Plus so far it really hasnt affected my life accept i got sick once but that was cause I mixed other drugs with it.
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Hey, you know your body better than any of us here. You do run some risks when you roll that frequently. I know enough about myself to know that if I roll as often as you do now (don't feel bad, I've had binges before, too), I probably won't be in a good place. I'd say take some time off. Show yourself that you have some serious willpower. Because of some bad bingeing in the past, my friends have been awestruck when I showed some serious restraint. Plan it out, set a date. That will help you not break. Just because all of your friends are rolling, it doesn't mean you have be, too.
 
TearItDown said:
Hey, you know your body better than any of us here. You do run some risks when you roll that frequently. I know enough about myself to know that if I roll as often as you do now (don't feel bad, I've had binges before, too), I probably won't be in a good place. I'd say take some time off. Show yourself that you have some serious willpower. Because of some bad bingeing in the past, my friends have been awestruck when I showed some serious restraint. Plan it out, set a date. That will help you not break. Just because all of your friends are rolling, it doesn't mean you have be, too.
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Thanks for the help. One physical thing that has happened lately though is that for some reason my mouth stays close together as if I have a slight clinch jaw. I wonder if its from rolling so much.
 
ThizzMon$teR said:
Thanks for the help. One physical thing that has happened lately though is that for some reason my mouth stays close together as if I have a slight clinch jaw. I wonder if its from rolling so much.
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In my earlier years of rolling, I'd still have the urge to clench my jaw weeks after rolling. When I roll I notice if I can stop myself from clenching my jaw on the come up, I'm not clenching as much when I'm rolling.
 
At first the experience was soo fun that i did want to do it again. But when you have done it lots its not addicting at all well for me. I stopped 2 years ago and when i stopped i used to pop like 8 pills a day everyday. Then i just wanted to quit so i did. For me alcohol is way more addicting then mdma
 
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