My mother was a huge contributing factor to my most recent suicide attempt and didn't even visit me in either the ICU or the psych ward. That night we had got into an argument because I didn't clean the house up to her expectations while she was at work because she was having people over, so I grabbed two bottles of my most toxic meds and she watched me walk out the door without stopping me. I walked to the park and sat on the bench to think things over, and decided it wasn't worth it, so I walked home. When I got home, the guests were already over the house, so I went to my room and lied down on my bed until I had calmed down. I then asked to speak to her in private about the situation, and she said I don't care anymore, if you're going to do it, then just do it. So, I went down into my room and swallowed enough pills to kill myself. I texted her what I had done and said good bye forever, and she responded stop being so dramatic and that she didn't have time for my drama. I then called my dad in hysterics and told him I loved him and good bye. He instantly knew what I had done and came to my house to pick me up and my mother just watched me walk out of the door.
My father then took me to the emergency room where they gave me charcoal, 200mL of 8.4% sodium bicarbonate (which hurt like a motherfucker), and then put me on a drip of a lower concentration of sodium bicarbonate until the ambulance arrived to take me to the a hospital with a better ICU and mental ward. I spent 3 days in the ICU with about 3 days worth of sodium bicarbonate until my heartbeat stabilized, under constant suicide watch. The only time she came up to the ICU was when the hospital psychiatrist called her in for a meeting and she brought one of her friends (one she knows I'm not fond of), and started making comments about the amount of time she had to wait for the psychiatrist because "she had things to do", and she kept making passive aggressive comments under her breath. She also had the audacity to say to me to not even think about putting any of the blame on her for what had happened. She ended up leaving before the psychiatrist came to see her because she was impatient and didn't want to be there anymore, while my father was there for me all 3 days in the ICU.
I was then wheeled off to the mental ward for 6 days in which my father made it in each day to see me and brought me things to bring me comfort and food and drink I liked that weren't available in the mental ward. I even made the effort to call her to see if she was going to visit me numerous times and she never answered; not once did she come to visit. My father came and picked me up the day I was discharged and took me to get the medications I was prescribed.
When I got home, my mother was there and was in a bad mood so she kept yelling about everything and anything, and she knows yelling and arguing is a HUGE trigger for me. I asked her politely that from now on could she not yell as much, and her response was that she's not going to change for me and that she's going to yell when she sees fit. I then said that I was going to my father's house and she sarcastically said good bye (which sounded more like good riddance). She can be so ignorant sometimes, especially when it comes to my depression and anxiety.
So, I left and her words rumenated in my head for about 2 hours bringing deep bouts of depression. I then decided to go back to the house to try to talk to her again, figuring it might help get things off my mind so that I wouldn't get suicidal again the day I was released from the ward. I asked her how she felt after I had left, and she responded that it didn't bother her at all and she went about her business as if nothing had happened. I then explained that the little insignificant event to her had a huge effect on my mood and feelings during the period from when I left and returned and again it didn't seem like she cared. If I want to get better, my mother is going to have to be a little more understanding and help out if I'm going to get better. I'm not sure how she recieved what I told her, but its just so upsetting thinking after an event like that that she could go on living as though nothing had happened at all, as though my feelings are insignificant.
It sounds like a lot of other shit happened between you two but still, nothing warrants calling the police on him! That is just really freaking low ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
